Baby is really hard work!

[JosieB68]

Not sure if I was nieve to how hard babies can be, I’m doing something wrong or is there something wrong with my baby?
Shes 10 months old, never slept through the night. Goes down independently but wakes between 1-4 times per night. She’s fed back to sleep, any attempt at cuddling or rocking back to sleep causes her to become hysterical.
Developing well id say, can clap, point, wave and responds to name maybe 50% of the time.
She can crawl although with one leg tucked under so does look a bit odd. She can pull to stand and furniture cruise.
My issues are that she is just never really that happy 😞 and it breaks my heart. She cries in the pram, cries in the car, cries at meal times, cries a nap time. She’s very strong willed, way more than I thought a 10 month old could be. Cries getting dressed or nappy changes, that’s the worst she positively screams.
Family and friends have started commenting on her ‘behaviour’ I don’t think to be intentionally rude but saying things like ‘she’s got a lot of pent up anger’ and it’s upsetting me. She’s quite social, enjoys most baby groups until she maybe takes a toy off someone and I try to give it back she will scream, arch her back etc.
A few quirks I have noticed is spinning round on her bottom with a toy in her hand and head shaking but I wouldn’t say excessively. She also clenches her fists and squeals that can be with anger or excitement.
I feel I can’t go anywhere without anxiety that she’ll kick off, get upset and it’s really affecting me.
Is this normal behaviour or sounding like something else? I just want a happy girl, I love her to bits and if there was an issue I’d want to help her any way I could.

This sounds really normal. My 2.5 year old has only slept through three times in his life; all in the last two months.

Lots of strong willed babies find the bit before they can freely move difficult, and she may well be the same. They usually chill out and are a lot happier when they can toddle.

@YouveGotAFastCar thank you that’s definitely what I needed to hear! Wow it’s hard. She’s always been a busy baby so hopefully when she’s more mobile with waking things will calm down.

It sounds very normal
We called it the terrible 10months. They were like a tinny toddler stropping at everything. They got a lot happier when they started saying a few words. Just that bit of understanding helped

@Sandcastles24 the terrible 10 months definitely sounds accurate 😂 thank you!

Yes - try and do lots of things to push her language on. They are much happier when they can explain what is going on in their heads.

Not unusual at 10 months. Quite normal.

Sorry but agree it sounds very normal!

We are there now. I had zero idea of how toddler-y they could be at this stage! Every nappy change and outfit change is a battle of wills she often wins and ends up with no clothes on and there's a lot of screaming if anyone dares take something off her... She is incredibly busy, wants everything (especially our food), wants to be picked up, then wants to be put straight down, wants everyone to wave at her and notice her when we are out and about and makes very cross noises if they don't. I love watching a little personality come through but I do agree that it is very tiring!

@augustonthecalendar wow sounds like we have the same girls 😂 you’re right it is amazing watching their personality develop but it is hard work. The no clothes did make me laugh so thank you as we often have the same battle that I also lose.

@Mumofteenandtween we do a baby signing class so I am hoping this will help with future language development.

I relate to this! When my baby turned 10 months it was like he was suddenly a little toddler. So many little tantrums and protesting at nappy changes etc. I think it's frustration.

@JosieB68 yes they do sound very similar (we are there too with the slightly odd leg-tucked crawl and the night time wakings!). I keep her in the minimum amount of clothes to keep her warm (luckily she runs hot and the weather has been pretty good), let her have whatever she finds so long as it is not actively dangerous, pop her in the high chair with something like grated apple or carrot to keep her busy when I need a moment, take her to the swings often, take her to lots of baby groups / play sessions, and invite lots of childless friends and family members over to entertain her. Those things are all keeping me sane so far. We have also fully baby proofed one room and filled it with baskets of toys for her to root through, so I can just sit with a cup of tea whilst she travels around the room happily wreaking havoc. Unfortunately she has zero interest in tv, otherwise I'd definitely add a bit of screen time to that list...

@augustonthecalendar thank you the grated apple is such a good idea never thought of that! Might keep her entertained for 10 minutes. She’s also not that interested in tv, only holds her attention for a few minutes.

Totally normal! And they all have their own personalities. DC1 was 'worse' than you describe tbh apart from sleeping through nicely by then. DC2 was a lot 'easier'/'happier' but still definitely had his (many!) moments, and was waking usually just a night for a feed at that age, but sometimes would just wake more and cry for no reason we could establish. It does all get easier as they get older. Although my two now fight as well so that's a new joy!

Very normal as people have said, a lot is usually down to frustrations around their own limitations with speech and movement, it will likely get better when she starts walking, but then there will be a new set of issues that pop up! 😂

I have 2 DC.

DC1 was/is strong willed/spirited/very bright/a pain in the backside since birth. He’s just turned 4 and I still reckon there hasn’t been a phase much worse than 10-15 ish months. He was so grumpy and fussy especially in the house. Tbh he stayed this way until he could walk and was understanding speech. It was all frustration.

DC2 is 11 months and has generally been pretty content. But the last month he has started going the same way. He’s very difficult to please currently. I’m buckling up for it to be like this until he’s more independent. He’s currently surgically attached to my boobs, shrieks his head off if put down and has mini tantrums if taken away from things/places which he wasn’t like before.

Itll pass. Proper toddlerhood (ie not this transition period) is wayyyyy easier.

Thank you all so much for replying, genuinely made me feel so much better!
Much love to you all x

I've been quite lucky with mine as they were both chilled as babies. Certainly didn't cry very much unless they were upset or had sn obvious reason. Were fine with nappy changes and getting dressed until around age 2 - then it was more of a matter of Benny Hill chases while they giggled their head off. Mine didn't sleep through until about 18m but we expected that and didn't put much effort into training until then.