Please give me tips on making life easier as a young family

[SearchingDory]

We are a young family of 3 soon going to be 4. Me and DH work full-time and DC1 is 2 years old and in nursery 4 days a week term time only. We don't have any family around to help with childcare. I am also doing a masters from work hence have DC at home once a week and get some studies done in the evening or weekends. I am currently pregnant baby 2 expected in September.
I am finding it all too tiring both physically and mentally. DS is awake from 5 in the morning and does a nap for 2 hours and goes to bed at 8PM. I take annual leaves to look after him during school holidays. I will be taking maternity leaves from September and after that DC2 will be starting nursery.
My challenge is that we are finding our days are very busy constantly juggling work, childcare and life admin chores. DH works all the days and is self employed so doesn't get any annual leave. He does bed time for DS but he struggles to wake up in the morning so I am the one who does all morning wake ups. We have been having lots of arguments because I feel constantly tired and I feel I need more support but it's what it is at this point.
I am worried about how hard things will get with 2 kids when we are already struggling with looking after 1.
DH helps with doing laundry and dishwashing and we have a robovac for cleaning.
I am looking for tips on how we can make our lives easier.

Will DC1 be in nursery while you are on mat leave? I found having DD1 in nursery 3 days while DD2 was first born, to be the most helpful thing. I think you have to manage your expectations about what you can achieve with young dcs - I attempted to do OU study with just DD1 and ended up having to repeat the year as I couldn't focus with night wake ups. Your days will be busy and life was a blur for DD2's first 2 years. I'd buy in any help you van afford, including a sleep consultant, night nanny for early weeks, and cleaner.

I also don't think it's realistic for your DH to work every day and not take annual leave and have a family life. He needs time to bond with the baby, to enjoy family holidays and to have a break from working himself. He needs to budget for that out of his self-employment income and not use work to excuse himself from parenting.

I'm struggling even with 2. Some tips though...

find activities that don't make mess like throw catch outside. Soft balls help. Try getting a large colouring book you unfold its from the works. Every kid old enough gets a page they like doing it together.

Don't fold washing just chuck it in drawers.

Find out what chores any kids can 'help' with, just keep trying. Mine got into gardening and hoovering much to my surprise. But we only realised by trial and error doing chores with them. Get 'kid knives' for the eldest they can chop carrots etc whilst you cook.

Find out where you can take out the kids you have in the easiest way allowing oh to tidy. For example is there a small park, a softplay.

Get online food deliveries. Use the shop as a special way to get them out. Ie you can go with daddy to the shop a choose a dessert (as a treat).

"Struggles to wake up" is not an excuse. He is being lazy. Everyone struggles to wake up when they have young children.

I'm worse for it than my husband: very much not a morning person. But I drag myself up when it's my turn and pop a quiet tv programme on, nothing too boisterous. The night before I set up some toys in what they call an "invitation to play" for nearly 3 year old which keeps him occupied a while. We do toy rotation to keep everything fresh and interesting. Then I plonk myself on the couch with a cup of tea until I wake up enough for us to have breakfast.

Your husband needs a serious talking to. You're pregnant for Christ sake. My husband works freelance too and doesn't behave like this. He does the majority of the mornings with our toddler.

You also need to pause the masters. There will be a way to do this. I paused a diploma during maternity leave and picked it up again afterwards. You have way too much on your plate.

As for when baby arrives, it's good that you've got your older child in nursery. Do they have a summer club? Or are there any summer clubs they can go to a few days a week? I know some mums who use childminders who are nursery staff that do childminding on the side for extra money- a good way to find a babysitter who you already know and trust.

If you can pay for a cleaner or laundry service, do. I would simplify as much as you can at home regardless. So, before baby comes have a big clear out and declutter. The less stuff you have in your house, the easier it is to keep tidy. Be ruthless.

Then split chores fairly and stick to it (you should be taking lighter chores or no chores while you are heavily pregnant and post-pregnancy while you are recovering.

Simplify your cooking right down. Literally while you're in the trenches just rotate the same few meals 99% of the time. We rotate the same slow cooker meals constantly. If you have room for a chest freezer somewhere you can go mad bulk cooking soups, curries, chillies, etc and freezing them to make like easier. I've never used one but maybe one of the meal/recipe subscription services would suit you. I prefer slow cooker and freezing meals but do what suits your life.

Your number one priorities need to be having a serious word with your husband and pausing your masters. You're on the path to a nervous breakdown.