Is the biological clock different for women than for men?

[megadreamer8]

I (31F) feel intense feelings of broodiness yet I am not ready to have a baby just yet. I don't know how to overcome them, it's basically baby or getting a dog (it worked in my twenties). Help!!! 😆

Last year I had an accidental pregnancy which resulted in an early miscarriage. I was so stressed when I found out as I wasn't ready (Both me and my partner are mature students, after spending the most of my twenties working) but naturally I felt protective over the pregnancy and it made me realise it's something I definitely want, despite fears.

I'm about to finish uni, trying to concentrate is a task. All I think about is baby names and babies. Or I'm looking at puppies online. I feel so annoyed at myself for feeling like this. I have adhd/ocd and become very obsessed with one idea before moving on to the next idea, but I don't think this is a phase, as it's been ongoing for awhile.

Is it the ticking clock? My partner is 36 and he wants kids but he doesn't feel the broodiness like me. He is so chill. Whereas I'm so emotional and obsessive about it.

We are not ready - neither of us are settled in a career and I need to find a way to get rid of this feeling so I can concentrate on myself for a bit longer before babies. Why am I struggling so much compared to my older partner?

Yes! Men can have babies up till age 70 or something. Women can't. It's common to feel like this - it's your body trying to make sure you have babies before it's too late!

Well obviously the biological clock is different for men than for women. At 31 you have less than a decade to reliably reproduce whereas your partner is likely to be able to for another 30 years. Men and women are not the same and we have completely different constraints on our life choices.

My husband and I seem to be ready at the same time but just in a general if it happens it happens way, but I am yet to meet a man as obessed as women seem to get over it all

Men definitely should NOT be having later in life babies. There are links to many disabilities plus stillborn and miscarriage with older sperm no matter how young the mother is.

Ageing sperm no matter how young the mother causes disabilities and other issues.

"The study found that men 45 and older ...experience decreased fertility and put their partners at risk for increased pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and preterm birth."

"Infants born to older fathers were found to be at higher risk of premature birth, late still birth, low Apgar scores, low birth weight, higher incidence of newborn seizures and birth defects such as congenital heart disease and cleft palate. As they matured, these children were found to have an increased likelihood of childhood cancers, psychiatric and cognitive disorders, and autism."

"In addition to advancing paternal age being associated with an increased risk of male infertility, there appears to be other adverse changes that may occur to the sperm with aging. For example, just as people lose muscle strength, flexibility and endurance with age, in men, sperm also tend to lose ‘fitness’ over the life cycle,”

"New research indicates that the genetic quality of sperm worsens as men get older, increasing a man’s risk of being infertile, fathering unsuccessful pregnancies and passing along dwarfism and possibly other genetic diseases to his children.
https://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/06/health/06sper.html https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2018/10/older-fathers-associated-with-increased-birth-risks.html https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/05/190513081409.html https://www.news-medical.net/health/Male-Age-and-Fertility.aspx https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jul/02/men-are-affected-by-the-biological-clock-as-well-researchers-find https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/jul/02/men-are-affected-by-the-biological-clock-as-well-researchers-find https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/sperm-banking#:~:text=It's%20not%20possible%20to%20successfully,at%20minus%20196%20degrees%20centigrade.

Yeah! When I fell pregnant my partner changed from being not bothered to suddenly really interested. But he still isn't quite on the same level as me, he'd happily wait a few more years. He thinks that is the sensible option because we need a bit more time to find a career, we don't have a lot behind us financially right now. I just wish I could focus on me and him, rather than this fantasy.

So interesting, I remember reading that age does affect men's fertility too. It's definitely a misconception that men should be able to just breed whenever, there's more risk to older breeding for both sexes. But obviously women have more of an obvious limit. I just wonder why doesn't my partner feel broody like me!?

DH wanted a child much more than me. I think it all depends.

It makes sense that sperm degrades with age. From evolutions/biology standpoint men probably don't feel nearly so broody because a man can impregnate thousands of women in their life and even though they risk disability and illness or death for the baby or woman there's almost no risk to them personally.

Obviously men have evolved to care about others emotionally but biology and genes are only interested in reproducing/survival. If a woman has 10 kids and some have disabilities that's a real problem for survival. If a man has 100 so long as some survive, his genes are passed down.

I'd say it's a biological imperative to reproduce and because women bear far more cost and dangers than men, we react differently.

This is so informative, thanks!!! :)
It totally makes sense from a biological point of view. It makes you wonder if "naturally" men are meant to be unfaithful? Although, they are capable of emotion and commitment. We are such a complex species. My partner definitely stepped up his desires when I actually fell pregnant, he definitely wants a family of his own. But he could hold off now. I hate the fact I'm so obsessed about it.