My Ten Year Old - Birthday Demands Are Out of Control

[BeckyBoo841]

My DD is mostly a really wonderful and easy child. A tendency to a bit of mild manipulation but generally a sweet girl.
But on her birthday, she really seems to think I'm an endless pit of time, money, and patience. I made her a cake to take to school to share with the kids, and she just cried to her grandmother and asked her to make a different cake instead (she's sleeping over there).
I am annoyed that her grandmother (who is wonderful but soft) has given in and is making a new one for her. But I'm more shocked that my DD would get so upset as to demand it. I feel hurt that I spent two hours making her a cake today, and she's rejected it, so I'm wondering if my other feelings of anger that she's getting a whole new one baked to her specifications are warranted or if I'm just hurt.

Sorry not much advice to offer but I will add that neither of the cakes will end up getting eaten anyway, as I’m pretty sure the school can only accept food in original packaging/packets. That’s certainly the rule of thumb for my children’s schools

You can never have enough cake! Clearly she wants to enjoy your one for just immediate family, and grandmas for school.
You have a very savvy kid there op.

Its fine to bring cake where i'm from.

Speak to your mum/MIL about it- she shouldn't have agreed to make a different cake. 10yos do sometimes ask for unreasonable thing and adults need to gently guide them, not give in every time.

That's a nice way to look at it.

It does seem a bit ott on her part but will school even accept home cooked cakes? I know ours wouldn’t due to allergy and food hygiene issues.

Not that it matters but where are you? Isn’t it half term in most places?

Where I am from, you can bring a home-cooked cake, and no one cares.

I'm surprised she agreed to be honest. I want her to enjoy her day, but I think this request was unreasonable!

Is it possible that her grandmother engineered it a bit? eg "do you think your friends will like mummy's cake or would they prefer X?"

I'm not sure I've quite understood. Is it...

1. Wanting two cakes - normal and kids will take as many as they can get.

1. Rejecting yours and asking grandma to make her a better one for school - horrible, unacceptable behaviour.

10 is classified as a 'big birthday' its the first time they have reached double figures. So I think she is right and you might be slightly unreasonable here. Can I ask if you're based in the UK op? Birthday parties are usually outside of school and we wouldn't usually bring cake into school for birthday parties so there's no need for 2 cakes.

I think it's more typical to have a birthday cake for family/birthday parties only and I don't blame her for wanting to have 2 in this scenario. If her only bday cake is at school then her parents and grandma won't be there to see her blow out the candles, and it's kind of a core memory to have your parents film you blow out the candles/make a wish that sort of thing

CLARIFICATION: She wants the other one instead and doesn't want mine at all. She will have a whole other cake at her birthday party on Saturday!

The second ... wanting a whole new one.

I would be annoyed with my mother in law. Not because of the cake itself but the fact that she's encouraging this spoilt behaviour. It's very ungrateful of her and I'd be nipping it in the bid tbh !

It's not her only cake, this is just one to take to school on her birthday (a tradition here), and she will have a whole proper one with candles on Saturday.

Yes, I think it's spoilt behaviour too, but wasn't sure if i was just feeling hurt.

She sounds selfish and ungrateful. You need to nip manipulation in the bud instantly at her age. Doesnt bode well.

Possibly she is worried about what the other kids will say about the cake, it can be quite intimidating taking in food if there might be comments.

Don't immediately jump to a negative conclusion about your child.

Oh come on. Some kids don't get a cake or a birthday. You cant pander to that shit. She's ungrateful