Birthday party gifts

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My child has started to get invited to birthday parties for nursery friends. My husband and I felt £20ish was an appropriate amount for a gift, but now we're not so sure as others have said up to £10.

We have no friends who are parents and we have no nieces or nephews so we have no one to debate this with. We do have older kids who go to parties, but for close friends so spend 20-40 depending on the closeness of the friend.

How much do people spend on gifts for school friends?

We're in the North East. I hate the whole situation as I'm such an overthinker. I don't want to be known as the parent who spends too little or too much. I want to get it right.

What to others do?

£5 for school friends, we never went to any nursery parties. I go up to £10 ig it is one of my DD's closer friends. We usually just buy colouring stuff

It's pretty hard to buy gifts for £5. At that age though I'd buy a colouring book, pencils or pens, stickers etc so the presents would be about £8-£10

We’ve always said 15€ , always got dobble or kinetic sand, or play dough and sweets or a voucher for the local toy shop. Twenty (and twenty pound especially!) is a lot!!

Colouring book is usually £2 plus a pack of pencils for £2 and some stickers for £1 🤷🏼‍♀️ easy

Nurseries easy, lot of cheap bits, books and crafts were the main go to gifts at my DDs nursery.

Primary varies, I try and stay around £10 in KS1 but depends on the child. I stopped generic books and crafts in primary. Sometimes it’s £5 in a card with a treat, bag of sweets etc..

As they get older in primary the price increases, it’s usually £10 in a card, if a close friend then maybe £20 or a gift of similar value.

in nursery I had a stock of generic gifts I’d pick up if I saw deals.

£10 including gift wrap, card and gift.
£20 for a best friend including gift wrap, card and gift.

In (a wealthy / high-earning part of) France, DS is 11 (Year 6), we buy birthday party gifts worth 8-12 Euros but try to get them with a discount if possible, e.g. the boys love reading manga so a popular gift is 2 manga books, which we can get with 5% discount from a certain shop (every little helps!) He doesn't get invited to many parties, none so far this year apart from his own (he invited 6 friends) and 2 more to come...I think parties are relatively rare or small in his school rather than DS being a social pariah !

20 pounds seems like a lot to me, OP.

One or two books and a packet of chocolate buttons.

£10/£15 here. DS is 9 and lately we’ve been giving/receiving more money and vouchers than before. I’d spend the same on a present for a school friend, £20 seems a lot unless a bestie. Weirdly vouchers tend to be £15 and £10 cash in a card seems to be the way it goes. I guess extra £5 in the voucher to make up for lack of choice where you spend it 😁

I’d say £5…they get so many gifts anyway and honestly it’s just a token.

Having said that, I find that parents usually spend more (closer to £15-£20). Recently I bought one of those squish-mallow type cuddly things for £3 for a girl’s party. DD had never mentioned her name and I’d never met her or parents so it seemed appropriate. When I handed gift over to the girl she looked at it and said “there’s only one present!” 🫣

when I’ve had parties for DD I feel very uncomfortable when parents go overboard as it’s not needed and not why I invite them. My favourites were a £5 book token from one child and a card with a little beaded bracelet inside. I’d hate for people to think they’ve got to spend time and money getting a present together. Perhaps selfishly I also hate the post-birthday clutter of stuff they don’t need that I’ve got to find a place for!!

Oh my god. The ungrateful little madam. That's disgraceful!

I couldn't help myself saying, "that's fine, my daughter can keep it instead."

My kids are older but I used to spend £5 for class mates, as they got older I just did £5 in a card with some sweets wrapped up. Once they got to upper primary they got less invites and would do £10 in a card for a best friend or let my child choose a gift they knew their friend would like.

Generally £5-£10 here for nursery friends (actually spent, of course people take advantage of sales and offers). Lots of craft sets, jigsaws, small lego sets, things like that.

Around £5 for nursery friends and £10 for school friends.

DC had a birthday party this year and I was surprised just how much people spend.

I don't like to buy cheap little bits that are not very fun or usefull- I always buy things that I know I would also be happy with.

I think it's hard to find anything under £10.
I usually buy 2 books, or a lego set, or colouring books with some pencils etc (plus bag and card). Usually ends up to be between £15-20.

We are also in the North East. I found it here people go cheap or expensive- no middle.

I used to spend £5. There were plenty of things to get for that price. A book. A small cuddly toy, craft bits, crayons, pencils,coloured paper, stickers and stamps always went down well. They really don't need much at that age. £20 is far too much. And way out of my price range anyway. I've also asked the parents if they prefer cash before so the child can put it towards something bigger they're saving for. That's gone down well too.

I spend £10 but if I had less available money I would spend less. I would hate to think anybody gave my DD a present that made things difficult for them financially. I would prefer they give a cheaper present and I certainly wouldn’t judge them for it.

£10 Amazon gift card, every time. Simple for me, the birthday child doesn't end up with random tat or a duplicate, and the parent can always choose to spend it on themselves if they'd rather. Everyone's a winner 💪

£10 approx unless close friend and a smaller experience type outing

Tenner in a card

About £10-15 I'd about right for primary school here (London). In nursery it was closer to £10. I'm quite savvy so I've tended to stock up on deals for toys selling for about £15 elsewhere, but usually spend £6-8. Cards from a bulk set from ebay and Poundland wrapping paper.

I think about £10 for nursery or school friends. It often costs a lot to do a party so I think £5 is a bit tight personally but I think it's common to spend under £10

For friend's children we spend £20+