DD3 going on holiday without me - handhold?

[shwarma]

My DD is almost 3 and I’ve been a single parent since she was born. She has a relationship with her dad, he has her every week overnight with some extended weekends and I’ve been away for long weekends whilst she’s stayed at my parents. She’s going on holiday soon with her dad and his family, and she’s so excited and I know she’ll have such a lovely time but I feel sick with nerves about it. He doesnt see it as a big deal as it’s only a week and he hasn’t seen her for a week before and it’s fine, but this will be the longest she’s been away from me.

i know it’s something I need to get used to and it will hopefully get easier as she’s older, but I’m feeling so anxious about the whole thing. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on how best to cope with this?

I should have said she’s going on holiday abroad

whats your relationship like with your ex?

mine is very amicable and he’s really try to send me lots of pics and updates to put my mind at ease

@steamedisbest fairly amicable but he’s so laidback I don’t think he’ll even think to send me updates. His parents will be there though and I have a good relationship with them so I should be able to get some updates from one of them at least!

Anxiety is the pits.

Try and keep busy. Plan some nice things that you wouldn’t normally be able to do due to parenting responsibilities.

If it feels ok, tell your ex u r anxious but let them enjoy their time together. It’s a big adventure for your daughter and you are going to have so much fun hearing about all the adventures when she gets back (plus you will get her updates whilst she’s away).

It can help to write down some facts and read them when you need to reduce your anxiety. Eg:

• my anxiety levels are high
• i need to ensure that this doesn’t affect how my daughter experiences her holiday
• this is a wonderful adventure for her
• it is understandable that I feel this way but i need to look at ways to make these feelings manageable
• some ways I can reduce my feelings of anxiety are …

and so on. You are effectively coaching yourself like a helpful friend.

Hope you can find some peace of mind 🤗

Oh I imagine this feels very hard. Do you trust him to keep her safe, she feels loved and looked after? If so then I think all you can do is try and keep yourself occupied and just look forward to sharing about it when she gets home

Ask for some photos and to FaceTime half way through, he'll understand you miss her I hope. But try to enjoy the child free time

You e hit the nail on the head with you having different thoughts about being separated.

He's use to it as the NRP so doesn't see why you feel that way.

But you also have to accept he's had to get use to it and doesn't see the big deal.

I agree about asking if you can have some photos during the week. But you also need to talk to him. Explain you get he probably felt/ feels the same way and you'll do more updates of her activities when she's living with you too.

It's never easy but somehow you both have to see each others POV from very different sensations of parenting and co parent effectively.