Independent play?

[bobbbiiiy]

My 2 y 4mo is really good at this is it normal? He just got a younger sibling so he’s had to share me for about 3 months he had to share me and my youngest is very high needs I can’t pop her down for long or she gets upset she wants to be held loads so I feel like he just knows I’m either feeding changing settling his sister ?

pre this he’d as me to sit and play , I’m worried he doesn’t really now and he just independent plays with cars/vehicle toys, I try to join in when I can. My youngest also doesn’t nap long :(

so my 1 to 1 time with DS has been limited but my friend tried to reassure me and said in nursery (he goes 3 days) he’ll be playing alongside kids there isn’t a staff member playing with each child the ratio isn’t 1-2-1 so he will have picked the skill up there too it’s not necessarily because I’ve had a baby and haven’t been able to play much

Mine was naturally good at independent play too. But he's 2 years 8 months now and, although he can still bustle off to his bedroom and happily potter about on his own, we've hit the "mummy play with me" phase quite hard this past month. He wants to do a lot of small world play and role playing with a looot of talking. I don't enjoy long sessions of this so I try to do short bursts and go all in for it and then spend as much of the day as possible out of the house!

Ah maybe it’ll return when he gets into role play stuff etc. his main interest is cars atm and it wasn’t when he asked me to play! He will just find any surface and push his cars and make them run of a table and stuff😂

I do try some role play like he has a toy till and I’ve had him be a shop keeper but he reverts to his cars !

so maybe it’ll return. Feeling a bit touchy and worried me sitting with his sibling (I don’t ignore him I just can’t sit and fully play like I used to, I can do bits of play) made him dislike me :(

Try not to worry. Enjoy this phase of him playing by himself. I'm sure he'll be pestering you to play soon enough- hopefully he'll have a good balance of independent play still too which is win win.

He'll be getting lots of shared play with the kids at nursery too as he gets older which is important.

Of course it’s fine! What an odd thing to worry about

Why is it odd? OP's son has changed the way he plays and she's obviously feeling guilty for being occupied with baby. She clearly feels like he's becoming used to less attention because she's so busy and that's why he's playing alone.

She's a mum feeling guilt like we all do about different things.

You know that from reading her post.

@Yourethebeerthief Is it normal? This is exactly why I’m worried :( because I’m on my own a lot with them so I only get snippets of being able to give him 100%

I eat with him at the e table for every meal
i play when I can

and when she does nap (does good in her pram) we go the park or zoo and we have that time while I push the pram

She’s just always with me because she hates being popped down :( and she cries a bit

it’s so hard balancing the two I just feel guilty all the time because I can’t do 200% divided by 2 for them

@bobbbiiiy

It's not odd at all. I was replying to PP who said you are asking an odd question.

There's nothing wrong with worrying- we all get mum guilt. But you're doing fine. Your son has a balance of play at nursery, play on his own (a good skill to learn!), play with you, and soon enough his sibling will be old enough to play with too.

You're doing fine. Don't worry.

ah Sorry! Thank you :)

yeah I do what I can it’s just not like 24/7 I always would sit with him as I was conscious he was an only child and didn’t have cousins to play with on non nursery days etc

i do just feel so guilty because his whole world has changed it’s so hard

They play alone - or alongside others but independently - before they can do cooperative play with other children. It's a normal and healthy developmental stage.

Some children are stronger at it than others, which is down to temperament as much as anything , as far as I can work out.