If you have 3 kids how do you manage financially?

[Crazedndazed]

Specifically if your household income is 100k and under?

School trips away from home like staying away are a firm no (as are sleepovers) that would be the same 1 or 17 kids.

you're not going to allow your kids to go on any school trips?

School trips away from home like staying away are a firm no (as are sleepovers) that would be the same 1 or 17 kids.

really? Why?

Away, when they go away for a horrendously overpriced week and star in a negative 2 star shit hole in France.

yeah, hard pass.

school trips as in day trips fine. But no one needs to go on a 9k skiing trip with school.

plus anecdotally I’m aware of quite a few safe guarding, exploitation horror stories from residential school trips. Rare of course but it does happen, like with sleepovers. Both firm nos

staying away as in residential school trips

@Crazedndazed well I'd hang fire on those wildly presumptive thoughts given the ages of your kids, my kids have been on some amazing residentials (as have I, highlights of my school years!), they haven't cost £9k (mine is in secondary school and they don't hit 4 figures! But they dont ski) and have been a huge part of their school experience.

Let's see how much you stand by that when they are pleading to not be the only kid left at home.

We have 3,now adults,due to unexpected 3rd after a 10 year gap. It was incredibly difficult on low salaries. We both worked full time. Childcare wasnt as expensive as it is now and friends and family filled in the gaps. School uniform time,Christmas and birthdays were very stressful. Looking back,it wasnt much fun tbh. Yes,we got there in the end but I wouldnt recommend it unless you can afford it.

I’m sure they’ll beg to go to sleepovers too, answer will still be no

@Crazedndazed sleepovers I can understand to a degree (though we allow them, again, happiest memories of my childhood) but come back in 10 years and tell me you've managed to stick by the school trip one! What are you going to do when it's year 6, they've done their SATS, and it's the end of year right of passage residential, sure you might get lucky and have one of those kids that doesn't want to go (it might be a self fulfilling prophesy if they don't develop independence from you I suppose) and they're begging you to go, with their teachers, you're seriously THAT paranoid you're going to deny them that experience?

I know it can be a little short sighted being a toddler parent, but I'd keep your mind a little more open! And if you have 3 kids, I guarantee you'll be shipping them off to ever residential and sleepover you can get your hands on 😂

I know! I assumed the salary in the OP was going to be way less than that. We are expecting our third and our household income is only around £50k, so was hoping for some tips haha.

No you can’t guarantee it because you don’t know me. My child’s primary school don’t do a y6 resi anyway.

it’s not being THAT (and how rude btw) paranoid, if you acknowledge there is a risk for sleepovers then the risk is there for resi trips (or any scenario when they aren’t sleeping somewhere where you are). You’ve accepted the risk (presumably because you think the risk is so low in your circumstances that it’s non existent) in that you’re allowing sleep overs, Im not prepared to risk accept. I’ve heard too many horrors, about kids bringing illicit substances, sneaking off to buy alcohol and someone getting their stomach pumped, boys putting pressure on girls to do things, quite extreme bullying, being left as a group of 12 year olds to wander the streets of Greece, yet not allowed their phones with them. Hard pass

@Crazedndazed Christ OP what a dark world you live in, rather than worrying about a 3rd you should probably be working on your paranoia and anxiety, stomach pumping 12 year olds really? Less Daily Mail more real life yeah?

Just another honest post,

We did what people call - Forward planning!!!

We ensured that one of could leave work and able to afford this. Made sure we had a large enough property.
We ensured we had savings for more than a years worth with both of us not working

We had no outside help to speak of as my parents lived more than an hours drive and inlaws ten mins drive but we did not want to depend on anyone other than very necessary needed

We have always ensured that the only thing we ever had on credit was a mortgage

We ensured we had a decent, newish car so, hopeful no unexpected large bills

We wanted 4 kids then the other kids we all young as we had a baby every two years - we both noted we could not afford a 5 bed house at the time - and we needed to build on the finances we had

Forward planning, seeing beyond ones nose helps in a big way, IMO. Sadly, many people lack this basic skill

NB: This post is not aimed at you but just a general observation

It dod not matter if ones income is a 100k plus or sub - we manged with a lot, lot less - for the sake of comparisons - we were both being paid below the national average when we started out work - we made up for this via overtime lots of it and looking after our money and not trying to run before we could walk

This. You cut your cloth accordingly! You don't miss what you've never had!

sadly same to you! Live in the real world, it happens.

maybe just focus on yourself

There will also be a variation in ages of the children and if both parents work. 3 under 10s with a sahm will be significantly better off than 2 working parents. I can also see 3 teenagers costing a lot more.

I dunno why you're getting such a hard time OP, your thread wasn't about overnight stays for children! And fwiw I wasn't allowed sleepovers until I was in sixth form and I was only allowed on residential school trips from year six. And I knew quite a few friends/other kids whose parents had similar rules or point blank weren't allowed to stay overnight anywhere, it really wasn't a massive deal. We won't be allowing sleepovers either with our kids.

But anyway, back to the purpose of the thread perhaps...

100k net is a lot more than 100k gross. I don’t think you have anything fo worry about with that income

Guess that means you must read the daily mail too 😅

Sorry I meant before tax….

oh to have 100k income after tax 🥲

This is just so lovely and refreshing.....attitudes like this seem rare on mumsnet.
Usually responses make out that kids will somehow be deprived if they can't have the most fashionable branded clothing, multiple expensive holidays a year, join in foreign school excursions and each have their own large bedrooms!!
Your response shows what REALLY matters to kids- a loving family, with lots of parental involvement and having fun together, doing the simple things.
I have 2 and have loosely been debating a 3rd but have worried about whether having another sibling might outweigh the benefits of less privelidges or not as i was an only child from a privelidged (in the financial sense i mean) background.I had a very happy and well provided for childhood and alot of parental attention.
But I always longed for sibling/s to play with more than anything.

Similar household salary and three children here… I’d say we were relatively comfortable. I work a part time job around school hours that means we pay no childcare.

My children are all the same gender so we do pass clothes down whenever possible. I cook from scratch as much as I can and am a big believer in batch cooking and freezing so we double up on dinner prep, and we are careful about buying snacks etc when out as we’ve found it’s the little things here and there that seem to add up cost wise.

Overall I’d say we are conscious of money but it’s doesn’t stop us doing things we really want to do. Kids all have swimming lessons/hobbies etc. We have a nice holiday each year. We also do a lot of bike rides and park trips and plenty of home baking and arts and crafts and board games. I think even if we did have more money it wouldn’t hugely change us wanting to do these things, it’s a nice part of family life.

One thing I would say about having three is that it’s a stretch with your time. I find it difficult to split myself three ways to ensure I’ve enough quality time with each child and that I don’t miss the little things with each one.

I realise this was from May, but it is in Active threads now.

I don't really understand what you want from the question, OP ?

I mean, the answer to 'how do you manage financially' is you cut your cloth to suit your budget. that is the same is you are on NMW, or a 6 figure sum. You can always find people with more money that you, and can always look 'up' and see what you can't afford, or you can look at your budget, and appreciate - and dare I say even enjoy- what you can afford.

You must know very well that you are in the top bracket of earners, and than hundreds of thousands of families across the country 'manage' very well.

I have 3 kids and we have an income of about 50k!
We do own a home but it's mortgaged.
I think on 100k you'd be absolutely fine unless you were renting in London or somewhere expensive in the south.
We don't do too badly on 50k tbh. We shop at Aldi and most of the kids stuff is second hand but we've never felt 'poor'. We do loads of stuff and go on holiday abroad at least once a year.
I only work part time so we don't have to pay for any extra childcare. Before the children started school I was a Sahm. This was due to it being the most cost effective thing to do at the time.

We don't have savings though.
The kids do have bonds each.
We live in a northern town so the cost of living isn't that bad.