Weaning 19 month old - how much crying?

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Hi wise mumsnetters,

I’ve just started weaning my 19-month-old and looking for some reassurance really.

I’d like to stop breastfeeding when he’s 2, so in the interest of causing as little upset as possible, I’m trying to gradually wind things down now. He loves boob more than anything so if I left him to self-wean I’m not sure he ever would! And I also need to get my period back to try and conceive again next year, so here we are. At the moment he feeds in the morning (should be an easy one to stop so leaving that to the end) and also for his nap. He’s waking once in the night atm and I also feed him back to sleep then.

As I said we’re taking it very slowly and at the moment I’m trying to break the feed-to-sleep association, starting with bedtime while my resolve is high as this will be the hard one.

We’re three days in and I’ve started taking him off the boob and then cuddling, rocking, singing etc. He is taking two hours to go to sleep and coping quite well considering, but right at the end when he’s drifting off he suddenly gets really upset and cries ‘mummy mummy!’ And I’m finding it quite hard! The crying probably only lasts 2-3 mins and I’m obviously there comforting him, but my question is how long would you expect this to last, and does it seem normal? Also what would you do next to continue weaning? My plan for nightime was to gradually start taking him off the boob earlier and earlier and introduce a book and explain that boob will stop as he gets older and has more understanding.

Very aware I might be overthinking! Thanks in advance

Can anyone help? Partner?, it will be much easier for someone who doesn't smell of milk to provide comfort .

I stopped the first thing in the morning feed first as it was an easy win, just went straight down to breakfast instead. Then I stopped the overnight feeds so if he woke up I just rocked him instead. Last was the bedtime feed to sleep, just went cold turkey one night and when we went up to bed I rocked him and sang to him instead of milk, I thought offering a little then stopping might confuse him. I'd say a week and we had a new routine in place.

I was already pregnant again and started having a feeding aversion so it was easier for me to stop but I was devastated that our feeding journey was ending so abruptly. I think it worked fine for both of us in the end

I think I'd start with stopping the morning feed as that can easily be replaced with breakfast. I'd worry about the feed to sleep association once you've cracked that. Also once you're breastfeeding less your period may come back anyway!

But having said that it sounds like it's going well for you overall, if you can settle him to sleep with only a tiny bit of crying. I think I wouldn't worry about stopping it altogether yet though , I'd do morning first as it will be confusing for him not to get milk at night if he still gets it in the morning.

Thanks all, I think you’re right and dropping morning will be easiest. I was also worried about confusing him - just a bit confused all round really…there’s so much info around starting feeding (of course) but I’m struggling to know how’s best to stop!

So would people suggest tackling the morning feed and then maybe night wakings, then moving onto the one before nap and bed?

I also really don’t mind breastfeeding still, but I do want to stop before falling pregnant again. So my worry is that if I leave it any longer we will end up being in more of a ‘rush’ to wean and that could be more upsetting for him.
I do have a partner but my baby is in a big mum phase - he would cry more if my other half tried to put him to bed than if I didn’t give him any boob.

I stopped feeding to sleep association for naps by getting my husband to do the naps. It actually only took a few days for her to go down quite easily. I think that’s what I’ve seen everywhere. They know who can give them milk and it must be confusing when you’re there but they can’t have it. After the association was broken I was able to rock her to sleep after that!