Why oh why does my 19weeks old keep waking up every hour?

[zuzkah]

My ds is such a sweetheart but the sleep deprivation is becoming frightning. He used to be a great sleeper until about a few weeks ago. We have an established bedtime routine and there is no problem. He falls asleep on his own without a dummy within minutes every night. However, after 3hours he starts to wake up and won't settle back to sleep unless I give him a dummy or a breast. Oh, he's fully breastfed btw. After midnight he's up nearly every hour. I know he's not hungry and they are only comfort feeds BUT how can I stop it? I tried not to feed him last night and he was screaming for an hour till me and my dh gave up. I don't know what to do. All the books talk about how to help your child to fall asleep in the evening but there is no problem for us. ANyone with a similar experience please help!

feed him ! growth spurt often happens aroudn now

no point leaving him to cry if he is hungry

Thanks lulumama. Although I am not sure it is a growth spurt cos it's been going on for over a month now. At first I assumed it was but now I think it might not be? I don't like letting him cry. But it is becoming impossible being up every hour! How long is it going to take for him to settle more?

is he warm enough? have you tried swaddling? mine settled much better if they were wrapped up rather than just under the covers. When he wakes don't pick him up straight away, pat and ssh for a few minutes first and if he doesn't settle then I think feed back to sleep. He's only little and they change their routines all the time - just when you think you've cracked it and they sleep all night they will wake up! I agree with the growth spurt thing too.

also, when they get a bit older, and are awake more in teh day, and doing stuff,tehy can be harder to settle at night as they are processing what is going on and what they have learnt...

if a dummy or feed settles him,then do it ! better than spending ages listening to him cry

he is still a little baby, and needing frequent feeding and comfort is normal

i don't have any advice, but sending mega sympathy. that kind of sleep deprivation must be absolutely horrendous, and is obviously unsustainable. is there any way you'd consider giving him a big bottle feed at night, just on the offchance it's really hunger? it would at least give you a bit of a breather and mean someone else could help during the night?

There are two thoughts on this:
(1) feed him whenever he wakes, for as long as he demands it
and
(2) cut out night feeds and get him to sleep through the night

So it depends on what you and your DH want to do, really.

One advice I can give whatever your choice is that if you decide on something, do not give in just because he cries. It is not a good idea to teach your DS that he can have his way if he cries long enough.

(I say this not only for the sleep situation, but for later, say, when you say "No chocolate before you eat dinner", do not give in and take out the chocolate box because he cries and cries.)

My dd did this for a while (growth spurt feeding always went on longer than everyone said it should), and I know how terrible you feel - big hug. That said, I say feed him - he will eventually start spreading his feeds out again, and while its awful feeding so frequently, you won't get any more sleep listening to him cry for food than you will getting up to feed him.

Mega sympathy Zuzkah. My ds is six months old and was exactly the same until the last couple of weeks when we got so desperate we started controlled crying. He had a great daytime routine, settled himself to sleep in the evening with no trouble at all and just like your ds he would wake three hours later and be up every hour through the night. He'd only have the shortest of feeds and be straight off to sleep again but if I didn't feed him he would cry for as long as it took. Couldn't get him to take a dummy, or a bottle, so don't know if that would have changed things. We tried everything else we could think of but nothing did it for us, so in the end controlled crying was our last resort. I don't know how I got through the last six months. The exhaustion is overwhelming. I have a 2.5 year old as well (she slept through the night at 12 weeks!) and I ended up with terrible insomnia as my own sleeping patterns were so disturbed. All I'd say is hang in there, it WILL get better! Is he in his own room? Can your dh share the night feeds with a bottle so you can get a night's rest?

Thanks ladies for your much appreciated support. I guess you all have been there and this too shall pass!
Florida - Im using a sleeping bag and he is not keen on swaddling. He gets frustrated he can't move freely. I'm trying to shshsh him with patting his tummy, dummy and if that doesn't help I feed him back to sleep.
Lulumama - you are right, I have decided that I ll feed him back to sleep. It's much less disruptive than trying controlled crying in the middle of the night which I'm not keen on.
However, Bucketandspade, I do understand and might resort to it later on. I just hope it will pass and my ds will settle himself. He sleeps just next to our bed in his cot so I don't need to get up, just put him next to me and back in his cot. Huge sympathy btw. One must seem so easy to you now, right?

Silvermum - Thanx for your sympathy. I do give him a big feed before bedtime. And it wasn't so bad last night. He woke up after 3hours than after 2 and so on so I had a 'decent' night of sleep. Everything seems much brighter today! Luckily I can fall back to sleep within seconds of getting up.
CoteDazur- That's exactly how I see it. And for the time of being we have decided we will go with the first option. I know how important is consistency and that's part of a reason I go with no.1 choice. It's hard not to give up when it's in the middle of the night and the crying goes on for hours. But thanx for stressing it for me again!
Liska - Thanks for giving me hope it will get better. Let's feed away and go with the flow!