ASD 5 year old - rubbing himself

[Mettlez]

My autistic 5 year old is in mainstream school. Has been discussed him going to specialist school but primary school confident they can support him. He's v obsessive and also has v little filter.

Anyway, he's been obsessively "exercising" for weeks. Which now I realise he's actually just doing things that are rubbing his willy. He was in the playground going up the pole and realised what he was doing. I talked to him and he said he only likes exercising because it feels nice down there

I don't want to ever make him feel ashamed. Do i discourage it? Do I just let him get on with it?

Any advice? I don't want to make a big deal about it but it is obsessive and becoming obvious in public parks what's going on.

I think you have to explain that exercise is good but that sort of exercise should only be done in private, at home. If you don’t make too much fuss about it you may find it is a phase that will pass.

Mine does that. Also 5, also diagnosed autistic, also in mainstream school. Both myself and his teacher told him very gently that he can do his rubbing at home in his bedroom but not at school or in shared spaces. He accepted it and now only does it in bed. Yours appears to be verbal so I assume he'll have a much clearer understanding.

Mine seems to do it when he's overstimulated so maybe ask him if it helps him feel calmer, if so, work on something else that could calm him, like a fidget toy, many schools let autistic children have them in class/playgrounds to help

This can be a form of self soothing in children, especially those with additional needs. It's worth looking into sensory diets so they get the correct/appropriate exercise programme to help modify and regulate themselves.

I think it feels nice to most children but they have to understand not in public.

As others have said encourage him to only do it at home in his bedroom. You don't have to shame him, maybe pair it with a talk on the NSPCC pants rule and explore other sensory seeking activities he can do instead.

As far as the specialist school, if you can get him in earlier it will be much easier than trying to get him in later when there will be more competition. He will be more likely to develop friendships rather than remaining in mainstream. Not that autistic children can't have friendships but the tend to be better with other ND children.

Hi, has anything worked? My 5 year old does the exact same thing and we have tried EVERYTHING. He’s verbal, intelligent and just can’t seem to stop. If he catches someone’s eye apparently he stops but it’s been over a year of conversation with him trying to get him to stop at school but he just doesn’t seem to be able to. It’s like we’re waiting for kids to start to laugh at him before he gets it. I wish so much I didn’t have to have constant conversations with school about it.