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Parenting

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Original poster

Sleep overs is 6-7 a good age to start or just don't go their?

17 replies

lexcat · 05/04/2008 08:45

DD6 wants a sleep over for her 7th birthday. She has aready decided she want her three best friends ages just turned 6, 6 1/2 and nearly 7. None of them have ever been to friends for sleep over and the other parents plus me worried about getting them to sleep at a half decent time so we don't have 4 girls from hell the next day.
Am I worring too much,it will be fine or is it all just a bad idea.
Anyone had sleep overs please tell me fine or hell.

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AbbeyA · 05/04/2008 08:54

I don't like sleepovers at all, as sleep is the last thing that they do! Why not start with just one friend where you know the parents well and could take her home if she gets upset?

WideWebWitch · 05/04/2008 08:55

I have refused to do them at all, the whole idea irritates me beyond belief tbh.

Ds is 10

Original poster

lexcat · 05/04/2008 09:06

Kind of hard to have one of then as they are all best mates and are nearly alwayes together as four. Plus dd would find the task of choseing one very hard as it not case of one been the best friend all three are her best friends and all three are nice girls can been a bit cheeky together but their all pretty good, and I know the parents well.

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MadameCh0let · 05/04/2008 09:08

At least one of them will start crying for Mama at 2 am, and be utterly inconsolable, waking the others up... Then what??

Wisteria · 05/04/2008 09:09

I think sleepovers are great, I really enjoy meeting all their friends and getting to know them - it also helps with independence as your dcs get used to being away from home.

Many of my daughter's peer group's parents refused to allow them from a younger age and are now faced with often having to come out at 1am to pick their children up who won't settle away from home (aged 11). As they all go away with the school at that age now, a few of the children didn't want to go and missed out on a valuable experience (IMHO )

theITgirl · 05/04/2008 10:34

I think the question is how well do your DD's friends know you.

I have done sleepovers with my two (6 & nearly 4) and a friends children (6 & 4). BUT our DS's are best friends as are our DD's and we do school pick-ups for each other and play dates etc almost weekly for the past two years.

The children have all been fine, friends dd did have a wobbly moment that evening but nothing that a cuddle from me couldn't fix.

TBH the sleepovers were for our benefit so we could go out, stay out late, get pissed and have a bit of a lie-in.

If I were you I would chat to the other mums, say you are thinking of this but would they allow this and do they think their daughters could cope.

ohnoherewego · 05/04/2008 10:51

Had a sleepover for my dd on her 7th bday for her 3 best friends who I knew well. It was fine but made it clear it was for her bday and would not be a regular occurrence.

castille · 05/04/2008 10:54

I hate sleepovers, and avoid them wherever possible, but there comes a point where it looks plain mean to keep saying no.

6 is quite young to start though, IMO, unless you know the children concerned really well and they are comfortable with you too, as theITgirl says.

Once you've started it's hard to rewind if they turn out to be a nightmare! I'd invite one friend at a time to start with.

Hulababy · 05/04/2008 10:59

DD (6 today) has had sleepovers for the past year - but only with her two closest friends, whose parents I also happen to be good friends with. We only do one at a time.

I still don't think DD is old enough for sleepovers with chilren whose parents I don't know - either at my house or their house.

mumeeee · 05/04/2008 13:31

I didn't start slepovers with my children until they were 10. Then they were only allowed 2 friends to sleepover.

roisin · 05/04/2008 13:59

We started sleepovers when boys were about 8, but just one friend each at a time, not a whole crowd/party. It's always worked very well: no problems at all.

I think if you go the sleepover party route you need to expect and plan for them not getting very much sleep, and certainly not on a night before a school day. If you can face it, invite the children earlier and take them out for a long bracing walk/run around/swing parks, etc, for some fresh air to wear them out a bit. Also make sure children are picked up early next day.

When they are very young you also run the risk of one not setting/being homesick and needing to be returned home/collected late at night.

Original poster

lexcat · 05/04/2008 14:14

Thanks for the input yes I do know all 3 children well and they know me. Not worried if they have to taken home it's just one of those thing. Plus it's a one off birthday treat (much cheap then a big party)
DD wants to go swimming followed by mcdonald's and the a dvd before bed. Was hoping the swimming would wear them out if not was thinking weather permitting skip the dvd and a good play in the garden.

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slayerette · 05/04/2008 14:36

My ds (5) went for his first sleepover probably at the age of 3 or 4; just had his friend over last weekend and ds is going to his next weekend. I've known the other mum since our boys were born (meet up once a week for a coffee and kids play together) so ds very comfortable with them. He loves sleepovers and I like the idea of him being independent enough to stay over happily without me or dh. Having someone else's kids overnight once in a blue moon is hardly a big deal - even if they don't sleep much.

Mind you, ds is an only so I am very keen to make sure he has lots of experiences like this.

Miggsie · 05/04/2008 14:44

I have an only child, aged 4, next week her best pal (also 4) is coming for a sleepover!
They are SO looking forward to it.
I bet they get no sleep and enjoy themselves hugely.

MaureenMLove · 05/04/2008 14:57

Does it really matter if they don't sleep particularly well? As you said, its a one off, so you take the rough with the smooth. My dd has been having sleep overs since she was 7'ish I think. Yes, they are grumpy the next day, but its only once and if it means she has a fab night giggling with her mates, so be it. There's nowt better than hearing your dd's giggling like loons and having fun! I'd go for all 3, that's 3 payback nights due to you, from the other mums!

TurkeyLurkey · 05/04/2008 14:59

Aww its one night and it is her Birthday! We have them all the time in this house (kids are 5 and 7) with no problems yet! Go for it, it won't be as bad as you imagine, honest!

Original poster

lexcat · 05/04/2008 16:15

The no sleep was a small problem as far as I'm concerned but would prefer them to sleep the parent of the other children are worried more. But my dd will cope with out the best nights sleep. Plus if is nice and the girls are happy and well rested the next day it means they don't have to be rushed home in the morning and they can have some more play.
Call me mad but I like having dd friends to play, been a nanny before dd means that I enjoy lots of children around. Plus their's the added bonus you get to hand them back to their parents to deal with the horrible side of their little angles.

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