Am I a sh*t mum

[Bingflopo]

My 2.5 yo constantly kicks off, whinges for me, sobs if I don’t give into his demand of a snack when he’s just ate either a meal or snack

hes hitting and kicking and he won’t ever listen to me (regarding anything but he’s still kicking and hitting and won’t stop)

what have i done wrong? I feel like he’s so badly behaved. I’m drained and sometimes I dread being alone with him I have saying that I feel sick with guilt but I just need to know how to help him

Hate to say it but he sounds like a standard 2 year old. What do you do when he’s behaving like this?

No.

Two year olds have tantrums. That's the way they are. In the same way that babies cry,

You are not a shit mum but it is worth reading up on strategies to deal with them.

and that's why they call it the terrible twos

Honestly it sounds like a two year old. It’s incredibly difficult and frustrating. But know you’ve done nothing wrong and you’re absolutely not a shit mum x

I try gentle parenting try to explain things to him. Give him plenty of preparation I.e “we’re getting dressed now then going to nursery”.

i have tried a time out situation with his hitting and kicking as he’s doing it to our pet. Or when he hits etc we say that makes us sad we’re going to move away now but he just follows us and repeats

whag are good strategies ? My partner says I’m a soft touch but I don’t want to be a parent who’s overly strict or shouts ?

Toddlers are arseholes. It does get better as communication and emotional language improves. In the meantime but books about feeling. Also, these books are good.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Behavior-Collection-Hitting-Hurting-Kicking/dp/B0C24NLQBP/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=MJ05KRFXBUWA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.iQ9PD-muowiMZUrnQBprfFhWUja-BBG95WgDDxvxzVDkFUFgbi-W2_IgRrITunUDBaoOp8yD6N3MoZCnQHXcNCATkO1PNlNMtN2huyBgF6pg1WnWip8-3MYCMfJn3EGEMT-aiUOv4lgdhNF_mHfEWUimR6xDxTSx_xS1HhhHZZ4mZsAzUnc50OlMAK1spoAl0k18gDOmEuME_5YWnXAJPg.Pn0i1OhPNl7GKJdWfRLYEh-itAC4b9cFpNqDBpgq1O8&dib_tag=se&keywords=hands+are+not+for+hitting&qid=1716576240&sprefix=hands+a%2Caps%2C204&sr=8-2

Yeah his speech is getting better but he still uses babble words and. A lot of the same sounds for different words so this may contribute ?

thank you for the book recommendations

It absolutely will contribute. They get frustrated that the aren't understood or can't express themselves.

I'd would do...

It's okay to feel angry/ sad but hands are not for hitting people. We have kind hands.

During the day make sure you give opinion. Give 2 options of thing you are happy to happen and let them pick. It gives them a sense of control. I pick 2 outfits and let them choose which one. 2 fruits ect.

Also, pick your battles. I found myself constantly telling my kids something. In the end they couldn't hear when it was important because I was constantly on them.

Don’t worry he is a standard two year old, I was exactly here 6 months ago, at the end of my tether! DS is 3 and 1 month now and things are a lot better, so much so I’m considering another child 😂

Mine would hit, have a meltdown be cranky and most of it is down to emotion regulation and not being able to communicate. Once 3 he was able to speak and express more, he is still learning and has the odd meltdown but nowhere near what he did 6 months ago. I was as concerned as you were so hang in there!

I would try a fixed routine when you are looking after him. I found it much better when they know what is coming/ regualr food/water/ changes once his understanding is better give him prompts- such as ‘ we’re going to go to the park after lunch’ and two choices. Making a sad face, getting down to their level and a hug ( if they arent kicking) would shorten them. Try not to react and just wait for it to stop, I would just tell myself it’s a part of development just like learning to walk there’s no point telling them off they can’t understand consequences yet. I was quite shocked how old they are when they have the brain development to understand! These are the things which have helped me with mine. And every other parent feels sorry for you, because they ALL do it. Illness/ hunger and pain make them way worse so always check for these too if it’s a bad one.

The upstairs downstairs brain

This might help you to understand what is going on in his head at the moment, and help you think of ways to help yourself with carming/helping him.

But I will say that gently parenting is not always the best some times you might need something else too so bare that in mind.

And 2 year old throw tantrums, mine this morning screamed, hit her brother and me because she didn't want her shoes on, the other day my 4 yr old cried for 40mins because his ice cream fell on the floor after I warned him it would (not becausethe ice cream fell but becausei warned him it would fall), my 2 yr old throw a tantrum of hit and kicking me the other day because I wouldn't let her run around with scissors, there was one my now 4 yr old when he was 2 layed in the road tried biting me when I moved him then layed on the pavment kicking and screaming for 20 mins because it was raining (spitting, lightly) after 20mins his dad drove to me picked him up put him in his car seat and he carried on for the next 10-20mins

I'd sack off the gentle parenting and parent tbh. They are hard work at that age and need boundaries.

Yes.
Especially as he's hurting your pet.

Thanks everyone. I am gentle but not permissive I won’t let him do things like hit smack without me telling him off

i just don’t shout etc, I keep my voice calm

just wanted to clarify because sometimes gentle falls a bit into permissive I think!