Toddler going to bed late - any ideas?

[Mumofone7]

Hi all,

My DC has just turned 2 and recently has been having around 9pm/9:30pm bedtimes. Now, I love my DC but those precious hours that we had from 7ish til we went to bed were needed after a long day 🤣

We've tried short naps, earlier naps, no naps. No sweet snacks or sugary snacks after a certain time (I'm talking like kids oaty bars etc, we don't let DC have lots of sweets/choc anyway just the odd occasions)

We barely have a day indoors as I like to get out and about most days and we have classes during the week and she's with GP when I'm working which is 2 days a week and they're always busy.

We've also tried going for walks early evening now its lighter later, we've tried the same old bath and bed routine to keep it consistent. Some days it's bed by 9 but up at 6, others its bed by 7:30pm and up at 8:30, there's no consistentcy! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm not sure if I'm missing something or this is just a normal bedtime now for a 2 year old?!

Thanks in advance for any help!!

Black out blinds and be consistent with no naps for at least 2 weeks without changes. Also get him up at 7 every morning.

In general are they napping?

When we started getting the late night's it was time to cut the nap for good, it took a few days so maybe if you've tried one off no nap days then it's time to commit?

I started a thread at the time on how long they're an overtired nightmare in the evening for once done, and luckily as people said it was a short phase!

Yep, we've had blackout blinds since day 1!
Ah ok, we'll try that. Thanks. I think the other problem is it's rarely a nap in the cot, it's always either in the buggy coming home or in the car 🤦🏻‍♀️

It's so hit and miss that's the thing. When he doesn't nap, it's either barely managing by 5pm and knackered or overtiered and up til 8:30 still!

I'm thinking powering through with the no naps might be the way forward. Will have to try and avoid car and buggy naps 😬

I just embraced it as a single parent and took her out and about in the pram and enjoyed my evenings. Once the clocks go back it stops being an issue, in a year or so she'll be tired from nursery and sleep better.

I had the same op. We have started the bedtime routine earlier at 6.30 so it means now there is more time for the inevitable messing that came with bed! Instead of going in at eight and not being settled till nine we now are done by 7.30. We also had tried everything and I didn’t think it would work but it did. With mine, I think she was getting over tired on top of being a bit of a nightmare to settle! But the solid routine (iron clad, pjs, teeth story and a prayer) has worked wonders for us! It still takes time for her to settle but it dosent matter as we still have our few hours left after! We also have no naps. I don’t know if it even helps much but I consciously have the room cool as well before she goes in with the hope she has a better sleep!

I think that's a normal time for certain kids. DD1 has fallen asleep around 9pm since she was 2, she's 6 now. She gets up at 7am every day and is always full of energy, so it seems the right bedtime for her. I never restricted naps and she napped until she started school age 4. DD2 has just turned 2 and has 9pm bedtimes now. We were fine with naps and having later bedtimes as it allowed more quality time for playing with the dcs with DH after work, rather than just a quick bath and PJs.

I'd agree with a consistent wake time, then work out the best timings for DC from there – it will help get into a consistent 24 hour pattern (instead of some short nights and some long nights), and it's more in our control than when they fall asleep!

How much sleep were they getting in a 24 hour period before bedtime started slipping? That will give a sense of what's realistic as a schedule, so if they were doing 7-6 with a 1 hour nap, you might try 7-7 with no nap (but might find that sleep needs have decrease slightly, so it's actually 7.30-7).

Thanks for all the replies!

I think a consistent wake up time and a couple of weeks with no naps is the way forward.

We used to have like cat naps constantly, like 30-45 mins then went to around 1 hour 30 mins in the cot and now we're all over the place 🤦🏻‍♀️

Also, we always worked on at least 6 hours from waking up from the nap to bedtime so that always worked as he was always up before 1pm then would go from there to workout bedtime.

But even when we've had short naps, say 11:30-12, I'd have thought the 8+ hours of awake time would be enough to be tiered by at least 8pm! But it's like he just has so much energy! 😳

My friend found that even if her toddlers napped for only 5 minutes, they then didn't get off to sleep for ages in the evening. If they fell asleep in the car (older sibling was on "nap watch") she would stop the car and wake them up! I actually found it hard to believe until I witnessed it!

You need to actually take them out of the car seat/buggy until they are fully awake otherwise they don't actually wake up properly and just go back to sleep again!

I would say wake them earlier in morning. Also sounds like awake window before bed is
Too long so overtired .

Oh dear god, I couldn't cope with this. Hope you can sort an earlier bedtime soon OP!

My son is 2 and a half and goes to bed at 6 and wakes between 6 and 7. He doesn't nap and we run the legs off him all day: out cycling for hours, walk in the woods, playing on the beach, at the park etc. He loves being outdoors and it pays off with the early bedtime. We do bedtime stories at 5:30 and he's out like a light at 6.

On days where he's not as tired, bedtime is still 6. We're strict about that unless we're doing something special that keeps us out later. He just gets put to bed and he can roll about singing and talking to himself for a half hour or an hour with his teddies if that's what he chooses to do.

Have you tried just flinging him to bed at, say 7 and leaving him to it?

Then for 2 weeks you need to avoid car and buggy at ‘danger nap’ times.

YOU need to decide on the bedtime (I'd choose 7pm) and stick to it. It'll take time but be firm and consistent.

The way you said somedays it's 9pm some it's 7pm sounds like the children are ruling here.

Stick to the same routine - start getting ready at 6;30pm ready to be in bed at 7pm. Just remember because there's been no consistency it'll take a while so don't give in.

Mine used to have a pre-lunch nap and that was it.

I had 3 under 4 with zero help - the evening was my time. They did however get up by 7am - you can't have it both ways though.

I was on the body coach Facebook group and someone had great success by removing sugar at breakfast time and throughout the day. So they had more protein for breakfast so chicken,
ham or eggs. No toast or cereal. Limited the amount of fruit during the day as kid was helping themselves and fruit is healthy but full of sugar still. And is now sleeping through the night after being constantly waking every 2 hours. See if it works!

Hi everyone, thanks for the other replies!

Just an update that we seem to be back on track thankfully!

We've consistently been waking him up at 7am, then if he's tiered we have a 30 minute nap only, either in the buggy or at home. And we've completely cut out the "toddler snacks" and have been having lots more fresh food for snacks, so wondering if that's helped too.

He didn't wake up until 8am this morning though as I missed my alarm 🤦🏻‍♀️ but we had no nap and was asleep by 7!

Unfortunately we had a hospital stay a couple of months back and since then he's wanted us to stay with him, he always kinda just chatted away until he fell asleep before this. So hopefully this will go back to some normality soon too.

@beanii thank you for your reply, but I can assure you DC isn't ruling us 🙄 I just didn't see the point wasting mine or DHs evening sat upstairs when DC was clearly not tiered so we would bring him back down on those days when he would need a bit more awake time after a late nap.

NRTFT but I have twins and they hated naps from 18 months onwards. I gave up very quickly. I held firm on bedtime though. I controlled that. They went to bed at seven. You need to decide when your child goes to bed. You’re the adult. It might take a while but that’s parenting. Decide what time they’ll be up in their room then stick to it. Mine fought it vociferously at first, but I held firm. The result of that holding firm is they still (aged ten) go to bed when I say. They know I’m the grown up in charge and that’s what you need to be. (And the beauty of this is that on weekends I let them stay up to watch a film or whatever but when I say it’s bedtime no one argues!)

Interested to read this and see your update OP as my girl is similar currently, though slightly younger at 20 months.

She still needs a sleep as she wouldn't make it through without one, but ever since the clocks went forward she's been going to sleep at half 8 onwards. It wouldn't be so bad but we're often waiting for our dinner as she's already eaten at nursery/grandparents.

She needs at least 6 hours awake in the evening now and it's hard to fit that in with a longer/later nap, even when she's up by 2.

You’re at that difficult point where they are growing out of naps but can’t quite last until bedtime. Trying to stop them from sleeping in the car is a nightmare isn’t it. I used to give my son an ice lolly before we left which would keep him awake for a bit. Then feel evil by forcing him awake as soon as we got home 😂😂 the things we do. It should only last a few months before she can last until bedtime even though my 4 year old still sneaks a nap in the car at times though. Good luck

We also went through this when ours turned 2. We reduced (but didn't drop) the nap, and brought the wake time earlier.
I think it's just a phase as I've heard others experiencing this around 2yrs.
From memory it took about a month or two to go back to 'normal'. Count yourself lucky though as ours has a 'normal' sleep time of 9.30pm to 7am, and when it was bad he was going to sleep at 11pm-midnight (even with all the adjustments)....

Yep I have a 2yo and a few older children and I never manage to get the little one to bed before 9! I embrace it, he’s not grumpy in the evenings and loves running round playing and dancing. My evening just starts a lot later..so my relaxing time is like 10-11..
Wait till you have tweens and they hang out with you ALL evening..

In my experience different things work for different children (same parents / parenting). In my opinion if your child needs an afternoon nap at two don’t take it away, it’s young to drop a nap and rarely results in a better night’s sleep in any event just an over tired toddler. They’ll let you know when it’s time to drop the nap. Keep going with the bedtime routine and 7pm ish bedtime. Pretty much all children like routine especially before bed. Reading a calming story in the room they sleep in can work well. I also use night lights.

It’s hard not getting an evening but try giving each other a night off so one parent can switch off, maybe stay the odd night away from home if family etc are nearby. I know people who get a cheap last minute hotel deal, order room service and watch TV!

You won’t be doing anything wrong - you’re not missing anything - it’s just hard and having a child with a good bedtime routine early on gives a false sense of security because it doesn’t always last!

Be calm, be kind, and most importantly keep yourself a priority, it’ll be ok :)

You say your barley indoors does the child actually have down time when they get home? Time to chill from having constant busy days?