When did you feel ‘yourself’ again after having second baby?

[Boohoo123456]

Hi all.

I’m due my second child soon and my eldest is already ten…

It took me a while after having her to feel my vitality and sense of self again… (at least 3 years)

I am wondering whether it’s the same second time round ? Or even worse?

Obviously I’m a lot older this time (35) so that might mean by the time I feel myself again, I’ll be into perimenopause?

Anyone with stories / experiences / advice to share would be very grateful ☺️ thank you

My vagina felt normal within a few days! I had a much smaller gap (between DC, not in my vagina!) though.

5 years on since baby number 2 and I’m still tired all the time and have half a stone to lose! I’m late thirties too, whereas I was late twenties having DC1 and sprung back.

I'll be having my second at 39 next year with a six year age gap so just here for the replies!

Also took me three years to feel like myself again. I'm hoping that I can manage it sooner this time around.

5 year gap, 2nd is 4 months and I'm also 35!

Like you, took me so long after DC1 to feel myself, this time I would say 2 months.

I've found it so much easier this time even with the gap.
Know what I'm doing, I've got to be up and out for school run (I used to sit in jamas all day with 1st for ages, think I had some PND)

It's been lovely to do it again, feel abit bad to say I'm enjoying it a lot more. 1st was a shock to the system

5 years and counting...
But my kids are dreadful sleepers which doesn't help

Well I'm 44 and my youngest is 2.5 and I have not felt like myself for five years since the eldest was born! I look at other mums, some of whom only have one child, and they seem to have held on to their sense of self way better than I. They've managed to stay fashionable, get their hair cut regularly, exercise etc. I am trying to prioritise myself but I'm exhausted, work full-time and we don't have help from family. DH has fared better but he works 99% from home and does a daily workout after the school run.

Apologies if that sounds negative!!

I think three years to be starting to get there, but 11 years down the track and I'm still not 100% there yet, but that's for a few reasons... The pre parent me is patiently waiting to be revisited. 😬
I'm 48 now. 😳

Was this excess weight you’d gained from being pregnant or just tummy sag? X

It’s scary isn’t it… it took 3 - 5 years for
me! Was basically me again once she started school

I gained 3 stone when pregnant with DC2 because I pigged out! My body has definitely changed more than first time though,
thicker and less defined waist.

I found the step up from one to two quite tricky due to things like lockdown, reflux etc.

My second is now 3.5 and this week I feel like we have really turned a corner re getting myself back

I've started working out regularly, eating healthily and socialising again.

It feels good.

It takes time but you will get there! My eldest being a little older now (5 now instead of 2 when second was born) also really helps as she's just older!

Enjoy it! It's hard going at times but it's lovely to see their relationship grow xx

My second dc is 2y1m and I'm not feeling myself yet! She's due to start preschool in 3 months and I'm hoping I can start getting back into exercise and time for myself then. I'm a sahm and I have at least one child with me all the time. I did have a year between DC1 starting preschool and before DC2 was born when I had a bit of myself back.

My first labour was very difficult, combined with health problems and an extremely unsettled baby/ toddler I did not feel myself for years.
After having my 2nd, coming out of recovery suite post section - that’s what surprised me - I felt myself, I felt human . I don’t know if I am in a baby bubble ( she is 5 months today) but I still feel like me just with extra weight, less sleep and less opportunities to socialise. I still have
up and downs some, very tough days- and I know returning to work will challenge me.
I am hopeful I will gradually get more and more balance in life and get back to some self care/ exercise

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking ?

I'm only a week into having my second so not sure when it will be yet but it was around the six month mark with my first. I went back to work, started an exercise class and sewed myself some new clothes :)

I am 37, DD2 is 6 months. I feel I'm back to normal.

I had lost almost 2 stone by the time she was 4 months. Now the lightest I've been for 7 years.

I make much more time for myself now for exercise and occasionally seeing friends etc than I did after DD1 as she was a lockdown baby and I totally lost myself for a long time after that.

Not sure how I will fair once back in work. Not every day is great. Today neither me nor DD2 are dressed as we are both ill but on balance I feel good especially on comparison to the first time x

Well as soon as mine didn't need much help I became peri menopausal & am overweight & always tired! So not sure I ever got my mojo back 🤷🏻‍♀️

That’s a shame.. how old were you when you had yours?

Oldest is 2.5, youngest 13 months. I'm guessing in another 2yrs...

Still waiting and my youngest is 13😂.

@Boohoo123456

That’s a shame.. how old were you when you had yours?

35 & 37

Thankfully both are easy teenagers. I think teaching teenagers is what wears me out - not having my own teenagers.

When mine were around 3 I could feel myself emerge from the "just mum" fog.

I always feel better after the first year and then more 'myself' in a settled new state of normal by the time they turn 2. This has been the case with both babies.

Thanks for sharing. How old were you at this point ?

It was a progressive thing. Going back to work at 9 months was a big step and enabled some separation, stopping BF and not feeling like a cow anymore, getting our bedroom back, when they sleep through. And I agree age 3 tends to be a bit of a magic number, I think because of potty training and not being slave to a nap schedule anymore. Then starting school is a big step.

So I wouldn't say there is one set age, but it just progressively gets better but aged 3 is a pretty big step, well was for me! I was 28 or 29 when my youngest turned 3, but I know that isn't common!

6 months to recover from a c section and pre-eclampsia and post op complications