7 year old rude to Grandmother

[bomi]

My 7 year old can be quite rude to her Grandma. She's a bit sassy at times, but she's never this rude to anyone else.

Grandma has a very close relationship with my youngest. Youngest is very sweet, affectionate, loving, never plays up. My eldest is absolutely wonderful but is not particularly loving, not affectionate and has quite a dark sense of humour. I absolutely love her humour but her Grandma doesn't. She looks at her with disgust when she says some things and then my Daughter plays on it and tries to say things that will annoy her more.

I don't know if it's because she senses the close relationship my youngest has with her, or if she just doesn't like her because she's so serious about her dark sense of humour.

Does anyone have any tips about how to resolve this, and what sort of punishment might be suitable? I really need to reign this behaviour in.

Thanks, just checked it out. I don’t live in UK and never heard of it. It ended 10 years ago, is it still popular/kids still watching it?

Maybe I’m naive to think death isn’t on the minds of 7 year olds!!

You need a two pronged approach.

Consequences for DD7 when behaviour is inappropriate.

But also seriously have word with a grandmother who thinks it is acceptable to openly favour one sibling over another when the older is only 7. If grandma can't control her actions then no visits until she can. She is the adult here.

I know you left OP but just in case you’re reading…

She behaves like this to wind up her grandmother or to express her anger at the favouritism. Other people treat them the same or only know her so she doesn’t need to be shocking to get attention
It’s unclear from your post if DD’s songs are harmless or inappropriate. Do you want her to stop because it’s weird or so that your mum isn’t triggered ?

If your mum stopped the favouritism then chances are, dd will tone down the songs so I think that you need to tackle your mother as she’s the adult and should be leading the way on behaviour. If she won’t stop then you need to protect both girls from your mum. A Golden grandchild/black sheep dynamic is harmful to both girls and you are in a position to help make the situation better - at least for the girls’ sake.

Oh OP I've only read your updates but it sounds like your DD feels left out and is just acting up I'm front of her grandma. Does your DD see her often?

Also some traditional nursery rhymes eg Oranges and lemons (here comes the chopper to chop off your head), or Piggy on the railway. Traditional stories can include death eg Red Ruding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White etc.