Social services intervention

[Shadow00]

Hello, this is my first time using mumsnet forum and I want to say that english is not my native language so please ignore if I will make some grammar mistakes. I have recently been reported by school to social services and I need some advice what can I expect to happen in my situation. Last week on thursday I had a horrible incident. I had a day off from work, my husband was already at work and I was cooking dinner and I dranked 2 cans of beer. After that I was going to school to pick up my 2 kids age 8 and 5. It was rainy day and I rushed and going by the street I got splashed from a passing by truck and when I was trying to avoid it I fall down. I bruised my face, hands and I started to feel dizzy. I came to school and teachers asked me what happened. I was in shock of the incident, explained everything how I got injured and they decided to call for my husband to come to school to take me and our kids to home. When he came he was told that school will report this to social services. I know that I didn't have to drink that beer and I don't drink often at all and from now I will not take even a drop of alcohol in my mouth for the rest of my life, because you never know what can happen. My bigest concern now is what is most likely to happen for my family? I got a call from SS next day after incident, lady which called me was talking very politely I explained for her what happened, she asked me if I have someone to take care of me and kids and I said yes, my husband was at home and she had a conversation with my husband too. She said for him that they will come for home visit, but didn't said when. I completely understand this as they want to see us unexpectedely and if kids are safe at home, but nobody yet came to visit us appart from that one phone call.We are a simple family, never been involved in any incidents before with police or SS. I feel horrible that this happened to our family due to my fault. And I'm scared to death now because I have no ideas of SS processes in UK. If anyone could give me some advice it would be much appreciated.

I think you'll be okay, I have no experience with social services. But realistically you made a poor choice by drinking granted but other than that you just fell over. To me taking this to the point of removing your children seems extreme for the offence.

I hope it all blows over and dosnt come to much, don't beat yourself up, you made a mistake, and like you said you've learnt from it.

How much did you actually have to drink? I'm betting it was more like 4 cans of beer rather than 2 as you must have had a strong smell of alcohol coming from you if the school noticed.

End of the day you shouldn't of drank before collecting your children. They must of been able to smell it on you which would amount to more than the two your saying.

Not necessarily - my husband can have one beer and smell strongly of alcohol for the rest of the day..

Were you drunk? Do you often drink during the day? I'm not asking to be judgemental...I'm just trying to get an idea of what your life is like?

How they will react will depend on how honest you are being in this post. If school have reported that they have smelt alcohol on you previously or that you have seemed like you have been drinking on previous occasions then there will likely be some ongoing involvement. Or if they have any other concerns eg poor attendance, dirty clothes, often late... If this is the only time that they have had any concerns then it is likely it will be a quick chat reminding you not to drink too much and case closed. If you rarely drink it does seem a little unusual to be drinking to beers home alone before school pick up so I think they will likely want to speak to school to see how your childrenare doing generally.

I agree. When I used to drink as a teenager my dad could smell it even if it was just one can.

@Shadow00 you will be fine. Just don't drink before school pick up.

They arent going to remove your DCs just for this.

What they will want to be assured of is that you don't have an alcohol misuse problem that impacts your ability to care for the DCs.

They will want to know what your regular pattern of drinking is, how much, when, why?

If they think it's just a one off mistake then it will be case closed.

However regardless you should maybe talk to your gp if you are drinking most days and having more than 14 units a week regularly as it may indicate a developing problem.

If you have insight into the problem and a supportive DP they will leave you alone as they have bigger fish to fry quite frankly.

I wasn't drunk and do not drink often during the day. I'm working full time morning shift and my husband is working on PM shift so he's always taking kids to school and I'm collecting them from school every day and taking care of them. Next day when my husband dropped of kids at school one of the senior teachers which was involved in this incident told him that they don't have any big concerns against us, but it is school responsibility to report about what has happened

So why did the school report you? If it was just an accident that wasn't your fault.

Did the school know you had been drinking?

It's unfortunate but the school can't be expected to tell the difference between been so drunk you fall over and happening to fall on a day you've had a drink. So they have to pass on either for investigation.

If there's no other concerns, nothing we come of it. They'll come out, have a chat, see everything is fine and then close the case.

Next day when my husband dropped of kids at school one of the senior teachers which was involved in this incident told him that they don't have any big concerns against us, but it is school responsibility to report about what has happened

But what were they reporting then? They must have had a concern in order to report it.

You got drunk and fell down on the school run.

Own your actions and ask for help.

Every alcoholic I’ve known (four of them) claimed they didn’t have a problem.

You’re a parent. Take some responsibility.

Did the school ask if you'd drank alcohol?

It only takes one drink to have the smell of alcohol

I think they had noticed some smell. They didn't told me that I'm drunk or something

How often and how much do you drink?

When my kids were in primary school the teachers new which parents took drugs/drank. Always showed up drunk or high . It was horrible to see the poor kids have to go home with them .
I'm sure if it was a one off bad day they will understand

I don't want to kick you when you're down, but would the school be able to smell alcohol on you after 2 beers?

If you're not being totally honest with us about your alcohol consumption, that's fine and it's your business but you would be wise to seek help and show SS that your are addressing the problem, if indeed there is a problem

The school have to report it because for all they know you could be driving home with the kids in the back while drunk.

Plenty of if kids have parents who are alcoholics , they don’t get automatically taken away, but social services will want to check your kids are safe. Don’t worry too much about it if you don’t drink regularly.

For the school to have rang you, then you must have been acting pretty drunk.

The SS will just need to check everything is ok at home and you just need to be honest about it.

I know a few alcoholics who will pick up their kids and SS are aware but I think it’s because the kids are looked after and they’ve got a supportive partner who does it all, then they’re not too involved.

I wouldn’t worry too much.