Tips please! Anyone managed to night wean while continuing with day feeds?

[CosmicLove]

My DD is nearly 18 months and I’d like to begin planning to stop BF in the near future. I thought I would start with night weaning, as it might help to improve her sleep (she wakes multiple times overnight looking for breast) and would reduce my supply in a gradual way.

My first question is - for anyone that has successfully managed to night wean, how did you do it? She feeds a random number of times each night, all for varying lengths so this inconsistency would make it tricky to “drop a feed” or reduce each feed by 2 mins etc. I thought about just continuing to go into her but wearing a polo neck, and not allowing any BF - just singing and rocking. Although I know she’d be very upset with this (but may adjust and accept quite quickly).

My second question is - did you manage to night wean but continue with a few day feeds? If so, how did you do that? I don’t want to stop cold turkey but equally am not sure how I would keep offering feeds in the day if I’m not allowing any overnight. That might confuse her.

Any tips or experiences would be most welcome xx

I BF my DC until they were almost 3! The only way we night weaned was that my DH woke up through the night with them. When it was Me they automatically wanted a feed, but with DH they knew that wasn't an option. He would settle them through the night and I remained BF during the day. Same thing worked for Us when it came to Bedtime, he would put them down.
After some time I was able to go back to settling them through the night, eventually instead of breastfeeding they would settle by sneaking their hand into my Bra and a cuddle!

Yep we did with both DC. We used 'the happy sleeper' book which uses controlled crying. Brilliant book and has worked on both my quite different DC.

@LemonzandLimez yes I do worry that trying it myself would be futile, not to mention distressing for both me and DD! We did try DH taking over all night wake ups a couple of months ago but only lasted 3 nights! DD would wake up fully when he went in (as it was different, unexpected and not what she wanted) and he then found it really challenging to settle her again. IMO he didn't do enough singing/rocking and went straight for things like - get music playing on his phone (bright screen in room) or taking her down to living room to cuddle on sofa with telly on (again bright screen!). I couldn't help but interfere and in the end they were both SO exhausted and she was so upset, I just took her back and resumed feeding. Not great I know, as consistency is key. However in my mind, we should be keeping her overnights as similar as possible minus BF so that she learns there's no point in waking up for it. Not teaching her that if she makes enough of a fuss she'll get to stay up all night watching telly with daddy! What was your DH's approach? xx

I night weaned a bit earlier than you (8 months) and continued feeding during the day. Simply do not offer a feed at night. The first week was really hard as he adjusted, but after that we had no issues.

I would go in and put white noise on, then sit and pat (and shush if he was distressed) him to sleep; if that didn't work then I'd pick him up and rock him gently. If that didn't work then I'd feed and try again next time. I only had to feed a couple of times in that first week or so. Do not communicate or make eye contact; you want to send a message that night time is for sleeping.

I also night weaned without being able to send DH in, although DD1 was a little bit older than your DD. I was fairly similar to @UnravellingTheWorld, although patting and shushing very rarely worked for me – she was generally straight into my arms, but she adjusted to not feeding at night quicker than I thought she would.

Thank you all for the ideas. @UnravellingTheWorld I think I might try this to begin with. I like the idea of trying other methods first but then allowing a feed if she's not accepting the other methods, and then trying again next time. I might try it for a week and see how it goes. It's really reassuring to hear that night weaning while keeping some daytime feeds is possible! I'm not ready to give up completely and I don't think it's what she would want either, but we all need some sleep! Hopefully she might stop waking so much if she doesn't have something worth waking up for 🤞

I am bfing my 3.5 year old at bedtime and first thing in the morning. Night weaned at age 2. We used the book “Nursies when the sun shines” for night weaning, which is absolutely lovely - we read it together for weeks before we actually started night weaning.

DC did cry for a couple of nights but I was cuddling her and comforting her, it all felt very gentle and loving. She started sleeping through on the third night.

The night feeds were becoming too much for me, but once she started sleeping through, I was happy to continue with morning and bedtime feeds as long as DC wants. All the best OP!

Yes, he fed to sleep and started waking up far too much around the one year mark so I night weaned. Short regression after a bout of him being very unwell when I let him breastfeed at night for comfort and fluids. When he was back to his normal self I night weaned again.

He still breastfed in the day but by that point he was over a year old and eating solids throughout the day so he only fed morning, before his nap, and before bed. Gradually stopped those by getting him straight to his porridge in the morning and offering sippy cups of milk before sleep. Period of time where he sometimes took one or the other, sometimes took both. Then one day a little before 2 years old, he just only took the cup of milk and that was that.

For night weaning I recommend offering supper before bed. Something filling like porridge or weetabix. Then through the night when they wake only offer water and lots and lots of cuddles.

Thank you @Yourethebeerthief and @lovehatelovehate I love hearing success stories! We're all just getting over a cold so I'm going to give it another week or two, to ensure we're all 100% and not overtired etc. My plan is to start giving a supper of porridge / Weetabix and then trying to settle her in other ways (patting, singing, rocking) and only resort to breast if she won't accept not having it. I'll do that for a week and see if she drops it herself (although I'm sure she won't!). If still having overnight feeds, I will just rock, cuddle and comfort her through it and be committed and consistent with no feeding overnight. Hopefully she'll adjust and accept within a few nights and my ultimate hope is that she'll start sleeping through - I've seen lots of mums say that this happened when they night weaned so fingers crossed!

At 18 months I'd just commit to it. It will only confuse her and make your life harder if you don't just go for it.

Good luck!

I did it at two and a half simply by moving him to his own bed in my room. He slept through from the first night. He cried for a few minutes but was old enough to understand.

Bottle before bed and then dummies