Tips for fussy eating!

[Doodleddino]

My DSD is a majorly fussy eater and I desperately want to get a bit of a handle on it. She is just so so picky and her diet is extremely restricted (in my opinion anyway).

She is a very active and healthy 8yo, average height for her age but quite slim. There are no neurodiversity or sensory issues and she’s never commented on or seemed remotely interested in her weight/appearance (obviously neither have we!)

She just refuses to try anything outside 4 or 5 meals. I’m not trying to get her to eat complicated flavours or anything exotic. I’m talking mashed potato, baked beans, fish fingers, plain chicken that isn’t nuggets, any veg at all that isn’t raw carrot. She will sometimes eat certain things and when given them again says she doesn’t like it, she is confusing genuinely not liking something with it just not being one of her favourites.

We have tried everything we can think of over the years. We’ve got her involved in planning and cooking and she is enthusiastic until it comes time to eating it. We’ve taken away pressure and made some things on her plate “optional”. We’ve tried lots of praising, denying pudding, getting cross, ignoring it etc etc. but it’s still a massive issue in the house. I just want her to be healthy and grow up enjoying lots of different foods but she just won’t give an inch. I could understand it with a toddler/smaller child but she is now 8. I’m not sure what happens when she’s with her mum but I’m fairly sure she is just given what she wants for an easy life so it’s just in our house she’s faced with “different” foods.

I grew up in a very much “get what you are given or go hungry” house and while this isn’t necessarily how I choose to parent I do believe it shaped my eating habits now. I have things I do not like of course but generally, I’ll eat whatever I’m offered. My partner and I have our own baby that will be ready to wean soon and they will eat (when appropriate) the same things him and I do. I can’t continue to keep cooking separate meals everyday and the battles are getting very stressful!

Any tips?

Having been through this with both my DSD and my DD I would say feed her what she will eat. Repetition is fine. She will grow out of it but it might take into her teens.
Back off and don't stress. Don't make pudding conditional - just eat it/don't eat it.
My DSD ate only beige food in crumbs, carbs, a tiny amount of peas, peeled apples. DD refused meat, any mixed up food at all, most sauces, all condiments.
Fast forward to mid teens and they both started being willing to try new food and now both eat a decent range of things.

Thank you. We do often just give her what we know she’ll eat so we at least know she’s eaten something, I would say 3 easy/safe meals for every 1 that pushes things slightly.

I suppose I just find it a bit bizzare that someone would flat out refuse to try mashed potato 😂

luckily she will eat fruit until the cows come home so I know she’s getting some fibre and vits. Other than that she’d live on chicken nuggets and super noodles if she could. Or her all time fave….pasta and spaghetti hoops mixed which I’ve tasted and together they are even blander than they are separate 🤣

It can be frustrating and it is a worry if diet is limited but I think we just about scraped 5 a day with DSD by including a serving of juice or a smoothie and tinned spaghetti!
Keeping meal times stress free is best and you may find - as we did, having a baby took a lot of the focus off fretting about DSD not eating and as a result she was more relaxed around food too.

Mash potato is the work of the devil.

It is my one food that I absolutely cannot abide. I have this vague recollection once once not being able to swallow it and feeling like was choking. I have refused to eat mash potato since I was very young but this recollection only came to me as an adult. I might have made it up but anything that has the smooth texture I can't eat!

😂 oh dear, sorry if I’ve triggered a horrid memory.
The mash is just an example i suppose. She also won’t have roast or jacket potatoes, potato waffles or similar, home made chips.

It’s frozen chips or no potato will pass those lips.

Obvious exception is McDonald’s fries 🙄

It’s just frustrating because deep down we know she would actually like certain things if she gave them a fighting chance. But she just convinced herself she doesn’t like things before even trying them.