Anyone have a girl and a boy?

[Humptydumptydone]

I have a daughter and then a son with an age gap of ~5 years. They are so close now in their toddler and primary school age. I sometimes want a third but worry about the impact it will have on my two, but then I worry about the two feeling alone since we have no other family around.

If you have a girl and a boy that are now older, how did it turn out? Were you content with 2 and now happy you didn't have a third?

i have the same and mine are now 13 and 8. They adore each other and spend lots of time hanging out and playing games, chatting etc. they also wind each other up terribly and argue. Overall they’re best buds though.

I think when there are two they’ve just got each other, I always wanted 3 but my son is hard work and there was no way we could have managed a third. I love how well they get on and expect it will continue with ups and downs.

I have a boy (9) and girl (7) they really are best friends with the normal sibling squabbling. I had always wanted more but was ill after having my dd so we decided 2 was enough. I was eldest of 3 GGB. Sis def suffered with middle child syndrome, still has tendencies today. I think even numbers are def the way to go, there will always be 2 closer. A friend of mine said to me with 2 you’ve enough time for each of them and “special time” one on one with mummy or daddy. I get that now they’re up a bit. I still get broodie every now and again but I’ve realised I don’t want more, I would just like mine to be little again. Safe to say my daughter would have been a prime candidate for middle child syndrome 😂 that was def a decider. I think with every addition to the family it totally changes the dynamics. My advise if you’re wanting a 3rd be prepared for needing a 4th to balance the dynamics

Oh and FYI middle child syndrome, not the oldest (family manager) nor the youngest (the baby) kinda just mosies about in the middle! I see even with just 2 how u panic and question everything with the first one but feel more confident with the second. Picking school etc. it’s not a lack of concern, it’s just ok we’ve been here before. Then the baby is just that. Always the baby, my bro still gets called his pet name 🤣

I have one each two years apart. I was 43 with my second and had two older stepsons so a third wasn't going to happen.
I think both would have been happy with one of their own sex, but the odd one out might not have been (I think my daughter would be most put out at having to share a bathroom with two boys as she barely tolerated the one, (when my stepsons lived with us they were so much older they had little impact).
A friend has two boys and a girl. She's the youngest though so that might make a difference. All late teens early 20s. I think they bicker as much as any combo.

I have b g b. 17,15,9.
older two are best friends. They doted on ds2, but resort back to being 9 at times when he’s annoying them now. They’re great with him at times, but he def gets left out more.

@Manthide sorry for your loss too. It's incredibly hard losing a sibling before you're supposed to. Hope you're doing okay. X

I am an older sister. My brother is five years younger. It's a big gap when you are little - what does a three year old have in common with an eight year old? Or 5 yo vs 10 yo, 10/15, 13/18 - the answer is, very little. There was never a time when we were children when we were into the same stuff. He always wanted to play with me and with my things, while I didn't want to be bothered by a little boy (all I wanted to do was to read!) and I hated him breaking my things. We often fought, not viciously but certainly in earnest!
Fortunately, our cousin, a boy the same age as me and an only child, loved visiting his cousins; he invented and led our play, effortlessly including my little brother in the proceedings. We had such fun together. We were pirates, explorers, and astronauts; no tree was left unclimbed, no bushes unexplored! Happy days. My brother and I agree that we had an idyllic childhood and we always got on very well as adults (we are now 55 and 60).

Edited for accuracy!

Such a lovely story. Do you still see your cousin?

Yes, I do! We live in different countries now but when we meet it's as if no time has passed at all. He's my favourite cousin, and always has been.
We used to have imaginary countries and I recently found a map I drew of mine. Our toy animals were officers of state and his country's capital was called Lion's Liberty (his favourite toy was a lion). And we had pirate names invented by him. His and my brother's have got lost in the mists of time but I still have mine and it's often been my online alias (not on mumsnet!).

I have a DD23 and a DS20 and they're also as thick as thieves. They will argue and shout at each other (always have) but they're best mates. As XH and I had hoped they would be.

I have a similar situation regarding existing children age wise but have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have a third. My family is done and I’m thrilled with it.
if you are both happy for a third, go for it. It changes the dynamic - and if you are doing it for company, it may backfire as the little one could be left out, the older one may be. The older may act as a caregiver to the baby, leaving out the middle one or in adulthood you’ll have one gender left out potentially.

It’s not for me as you’re asking for advice but each family is different.

I have a son and daughter aged 43 & 41 respectively. I remember a phase when I would have liked a third but am glad now that we stuck at 2 children. Firstly we were able to afford to take them to some super places on holiday while they were still at home with us and secondly, we would have struggled for bedroom and car space.
From spending several years as a sahm, I was able to re-enter the workplace, get professional qualifications, build a career and contribute more to the family finances. Good luck with whatever you decide.

We had 3 (BGG) in just under 4 years. They are all super close and look out for/after each other. If one gets told off, the others support the one etc. it’s very sweet - I hope they stay like this forever.

however 😆 the extra one is a lot more work. It’s a lot harder to do anything or go anywhere. I wouldn’t change for the world and my magic number was always 4, still is but won’t happen now and honestly I don’t know how I would do a fourth! Even getting hotel rooms etc is difficult: it’s much harder for me to go out for the day with all 3 vs 2… always outnumbered parents to kids etc!

Had a girl then boy with 5 year gap.

Never wanted to stop at 2, had 3rd 16.5mth after 2nd. Surprise 4th & 5th (coil fail) when 3rd almost 3, now got 6 with 15 years between oldest and youngest. All are close with the usual sibling arguing. We're both 1 of 3, only one of our siblings has kids (the rest are unlikely to now).

Do you work if you don't mind me asking?

Been a SAHM since maternity finished for 2nd. Childcare costs made it an easy choice, I only did PT after our 1st.