13 week old hates laying flat - resorted to sleeping in baby chair

[EllieJade95]

Needing advice as I am seriously exhausted. My 13 week old has never liked being flat, but previously we were waking more regularly for feeds in the night so the being awake was more expected. She can now easily sleep from 6pm-1am/2am but she will only do this if she’s in her baby chair/swing (it’s not a swing but they call them that) - how we have been doing it is that my partner stays downstairs with her whilst she’s in there, I sleep in that time whilst he stays awake and then he does the feed around 2am and either brings her upstairs in the cot or I come downstairs whilst she’s in the pram/on me. He can sleep through the noise a bit better so sometimes once she’s in the pram he won’t wake me.

Anyway, he’s started to fall asleep whilst she’s in the chair so I know we have to stop leaving her in there now. I’ve bought her up to the cot for the past 2 nights and she is still incredibly loud. She’s improved from before as she used to constantly grunt, she now doesn’t do that but she’s always tossing and turning. The other night I literally had 0 hours sleep. Tonight I’ve put her in and within 10 minutes she’s tossing turning/waking herself up.

it’s so frustrating as in the chair she will sleep for 6 hours without a peep but in her cot she will is constantly moving and is likely going to wake herself up soon. I’ve got the cot boosted as well with some books underneath but no change. Does anyone have any advice on what helped them? Or had a baby that was the same and grew out of it by a certain point?

I’m so tired it’s making the days unbareable too, so I’m hoping someone can tell me it gets better :(

@Laalaalala We tried colief on two occasions and both occasions she was really unsettled so I was worried the colief weirdly caused it! Just had a look at wonky winding, I’ll defo try that. Interestingly she likes lying that way at the moment!

@Ladyj84 I don’t think it’s related to wanting me, she can sleep in her chair for 6 hours with no sound and really happy… it’s the second she’s lying flat. She’s the same even if I’m holding her at times she suddenly needs to be upright.

By about the same age I had mine lying on his side propped with a small blanket wrapped like a sausage in his next-to-me. He kept putting himself in that position so we had an interim period of side-sleeping in the lead up to sleeping on his stomach by 4 months.

The risk was minimal compared to me falling asleep holding him in my arms every night. At some point you have to risk assess and go with what you're comfortable with. I was physically sick with lack of sleep and that's far more dangerous in my eyes.

I gave up and coslept, making it as safe as possible following advice from the Safe Sleep Seven, a very good Cosleeping UK Facebook page that advices on setups etc and with baby wearing an Owlet oxygen monitor. Totally saved my sanity and made motherhood so much more enjoyable.

@Newcrocs We tried colief on two ocassions but both times she was very unhappy after her feed/later on which we never get with her so I was worried it was because of that and stopped. We burp her throughout feeds so she usually has 2-3 burps and she sometimes blows off during sleep but that’s usually from about 3am onwards.

She is on MAM anti colic bottles and has been since day one, but we’re still on size 1 teets because the size 2 would make her choke! Do you think that may make the wind worse?

@Yourethebeerthief Oh yes I have actually seen a video on that before! Did that help?
Yes I’m exactly the same, the other night when I had 0 hours my mum took her for a few hours in the morning so I could catch up on sleep and when I woke up I was sick.
I’m at a point where I’m like do I just let her be in the chair, because she never has her head slumped but I just feel so conscious of the safety aspect of it all of a sudden

@Zippedydoodahday Honestly if I could, I would co sleep, I have no judgements on people that do BUT she would be exactly the same in bed with us. I’ve actually tried it before where I’ve tested it and put her in the bed and she’s exactly the same 😔

What about a baby bouncer or bean bag?

We muddled through. Call on all the support you can get and, if they're able to, time table people in so you know when you can get solid sleep. Sleep in shifts with husband but he bloody well has to stay awake.

My mum used to come on certain days in the morning and I would have at least 3 hours extra sleep.

I was fortunate that my son was strong enough by 4 months that I felt confident putting him on his stomach. He was crawling at 5 months.

@Quitelikeit https://www.mamasandpapas.com/products/joie-sansa-2in1-rocker-fern-6298z3300?utm_term=36125392830629&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIx9-DroadhgMVkAcGAB1LzwsPEAQYAiABEgKP3PD_BwE this is the one she’s in and I just cover it with a breathable safe sheet so that it actually has an approved sleep item on it

I had a refluxer - she's 14 so advice might have changed.

We put a pillow under the mattress so that it lifted the mattress at an angle - seemed to work better than the books. We also used a V pillow when someone was watching her to prop her up.

Think about the shape her body is in the chair and try to reproduce that in the cot. Does she need a swaddle or a closer fitting sleeping bag if she's thrashing about?

Mine had different meds. She had domperidone and omeprezole which was much more effective than the gaviscon.

Have you tried baby massage. There was a move which helped the wind which might help.

It's a tough on OP and exhausting. But the do grow out of it!

EllieJade95 - just wondering why she can't sleep in the chair? I'm an older Mum and I'm sure things have changed now, but my now 20 year-old slept upright in a car seat for the first three months of her life, because that was the only way she would sleep due to reflux. It saved my sanity.

Sorry if you've said already OP, and it didn't work for us at all (!), but have you tried swaddling?

Honestly my experience is it just fucking sucks until it gets better. It doesn't help to remember this in the moment but she's fresh out the womb and doesn't know how to sleep yet. You will get there. Then there will be the period of waking every few hours in the night. Then you'll be back on MN looking for sleep training advice, then you'll sleep train. Then it will eventually get better.

My son is 2 and a half now and sleeps 6-7 every night. He annoys me so much all day long I'm glad to fling him to bed in the evening 😂 I've been where you are, we all have. It's hell. Get all the support you can and you will make it through to the next stage. Then you'll be back to offer advice for the next poor bugger on here!

Sending you all the best in figuring it out x

@LittleOwl153 Thanks so much for your advice. What pillow did you use? She doesn’t like the swaddle but we do put her in a sleeping bag, I think it seems to be the fact her body isn’t completely flat, she’s the same in the car seat where she will sleep really well so it’s almost like the fact it’s semi reclined. I have actually seen about omeprezole but wasn’t sure if I’d be allowed to have them without trying gaviscon.

Honestly it’s so hard! I keep telling myself I need to keep going because like I say she used to grunt all the time and now she doesn’t at all. I think it’s just hard when in the chair she’ll sleep for 6 hours it feels like torture to us to then put her in her cot and wake up every hour 😂 when did yours grow out of it?

@Willow12345 they basically say that it’s unsafe because their head could drop onto their chin, blocking their air way. I think it’s probably quite unlikely as babies get bigger but would be more a risk for a younger baby. To be honest I have never ever seen her head drop but she does turn it to the side and I don’t know if that causes the same thing. It’s one of those things where i’m sure she wil be fine but I am getting to the point now where I’m really conscious about it as my partner is falling asleep. I know it was so different before, I have pictures of me in a car seat completely slumped and in a cot with lots of teddies and blankets haha

@Yourethebeerthief Thanks so much, you’re right it is just one of those things you have to get through. My mum keeps reminding me that it will pass but I just can’t picture it right now. I try and tell myself it could be worse, because she could point blank refuse to sleep anywhere apart from me so I’m grateful for that but it’s just bloody difficult! Honestly at this point I’d take just a couple of hours solid atm, even an hour 😂

thank you for your advice, hoping you are right and it will get better soon! X

Oh it's horrible, the despair from lack of sleep! I also ended up co-sleeping with my (probably) reflux baby, he just wouldn't sleep for more than about twenty minutes on his back so he sort of slept on his side with no duvet/pillows on the bed and I slept next to him ready to apply the boob every time he woke up as it sent him back to sleep and we could all sleep.

Sadly this meant he never learnt to settle himself and he's now FIVE and still likes to be cuddled to sleep every night and inevitably wakes up crying to come in bed with me.

Sorry, that story didn't have a happy ending but I'm sure yours will!

My son is 24 and you have described him at that age . He had severe reflux and he slept in his car seat . He was referred for PH studies at the Brompton Hospital in London ,so please take these symptoms back to your Dr and get your child referred to a paediatrician.

My first was horridly refluxy. We dealt with it by using a RedCastle Cocoonababy and with baby Gaviscon as issued by the hospital. She spent some time in NICU after birth and they had no hesitation in using it, sending it home with her too. Yes, it can cause constipation, but it didn't for us. And in any case, there are things you can do to counteract this side effect.

My dd was like this - I remember feeling absolutely desperate, she didn't have proper naps or anything. She would eventually fall asleep in the car but would twist her head about and wake herself up.

In the end I took her to a Cranial osteopath at the suggestion of someone on this site. She literally relaxed in his arms as he massaged her head. I watched her in the car on the way home and she blinked twice and fell asleep in relaxed fashion. She then got out down in her cot and she slept. I felt it was a miracle and started a thank you thread to the poster who suggested it 😁

Tried it again with third baby but without the brilliant results unfortunately.

It's the guilt from SIDS warnings. I do believe in some cases, the risk of SIDS is far lower than the risk from a burnt out mother who could fall asleep holding her baby, or crash her car from exhaustion when out driving with baby.

Weigh up your own risks. SIDS risks are very very low.

Give gaviscon a try, I was also worried about constipation but my LO is no longer sick and poos daily (3 times today 🙄)
Also what helped with his grunting and squirming was an oesteopath seeing him - was instant result.
He also had tongue tie released

Just bog standard pillows. I have a feeling we ended up with 2 to get the right angle for her - but it was trial and error as these things always are.
The v pillow again was a standard adult one. We used to throw a baby mat or something iver it so she didn't get into the folds. But we never left her with that one so same idea as your chair.

Mine got much better with the meds. She came off the meds around 18 months I think.

PH test someone mentioned above would confirm or not the reflux. This is where our paediatrician gave her the meds. She was referred early because she threw up constantly so didn't gain weight. She did once on the meds.

They're little monkeys aren't they!

Try the dentinox drops instead of colief, I was only asking about the teats in case she was taking in too much air but it sounds like she's on the right ones.

Look up tummy massage/baby yoga, it can't hurt to try

Will she sleep in the pram carrycot, and is yours safe for overnight sleep? It might be the feeling cradled (but not restrained, like swaddling) rather than the incline. One of mine slept in the carrycot when she refused the next-to-me, the baby box, and any form of swaddling. Apparently it was just the right level of cosy. (She also had reflux, treated with omeprazole, as she didn't tolerate carobel or gaviscon.)