My child has been excluded from school’s sports

[Mamaolivera]

Just wanted to ask what you people do when your child is left out of every sports activities organised by her school. My child plays after school sports and does lots of sports outside the school but I feel that the PÉ teacher has his favourites as he always picks the same kids to represent the school. Spoke to headteacher but feels like it goes in one year and out of the other. Just find it so unfair as many other kids are in the same situation and nothing is being done to fix it. I just wondered if anyone had the same issue and if you managed to get heard. Very frustrating and sad for kids not being offered the same opportunities specially at school where it should be the ethos .

What age? At primary yes but at secondary it's competitive. Your child can aim for the team by working hard, attending training but if there are kids better they'll get picked. You can't make teachers pick your kid you can however encourage them to set up fixtures for (want of a better term) B / development teams.

My child plays after school sports

So they're not being excluded ?

It’s a primary school kid. There’s no such a thing as criteria there and it’s not about best ones, it’s very clearly that it’s about favourites. Even in a competition which my child was a strong player, they were not given the chance. I would sit with my mouth shut if there was a criteria where the best ones were chosen which isn’t the case.

This

they are excluded to represent the school in any competition. The after school sports are after school activities which I pay for them to attend.

Really you mean that when there are too many kids available fir a team that your child hasn't been chosen. Unless they are the only child not chosen every single time then they are not being excluded. It sounds like an exaggeration to me.

Sometimes is not about who is the better player, its about how the team work as a team.
My DS is a amazing at some sports but put him in a team and it's not for him. He can and does win by himself but for the life of him just doesn't work in a team. He's now 15 and can do team sports, but doesn't compete for anything.

If they are competing within school hours it also depends what lessons they will be missing and whether they can stand to lose the time. My friend's son isn't chosen for inter school stuff because he needs academic help more.

I'm sure there are lots of reasons a child may be picked other than ability. The teacher may be encouraging team work, confidence building, supporting a health or social need.

Questions to consider
Is your child the only child not selected?
Does your child attend school clubs and practices regularly?
Does your child behave well and demonstrate good team behaviour?
Does your child behave well in lessons too?

'Twas ever thus. The PE Dept will want the best on the teams.

I always turned up for hockey practice but was never selected. The hockey mistress (also the coach for the Scotland ladies' team) was open with us: "You're not guaranteed to get a game, but if you turn up for all the practices, you will go to the matches with us and you will be a sub."

To explain - not being picked didn't bother me: I enjoyed the social side. Plus I knew that I was not a good player.

I'm on the other side of this as I had the kids that were always picked, because they were really good all-rounders and could turn their hands to any sports. But their primary school PE teacher did make sure that he entered competitions that would also be suitable for those less able who still wanted to compete.

your child is not being excluded - they’re just not making the team. Sport is competitive- that’s just the way it is. There are lots of benefits to doing after school sports though (social skills, fitness etc) so I suggest you focus on those.
What on earth do you expect the Head Teacher to do about it?

That’s why I am frustrated. My child behaves well, practices after school sports which they love and I paid separately for them to attend. I am annoyed because the very same kids are picked for various activities, sometimes they have to say no because they go to everything. My child is never picked. They are very sociable, capable and very keen to go. They feel very excluded. There are many other kids being excluded too, and the parents complained to school so many times but nothing was done to fix it. I am not being over sensitive here or exaggerating, just wanted our school to give the opportunity to all the students.

This. If picking for the school A team the PE teacher will pick most able kids at that particular sport. That's why some schools have B teams for less able kids to participate but anyone can go to after school sports practice. Do you really expect the PE teacher to say to a more able child I'm not picking you this week because X will get upset if they don't get a turn? The rest of the year would want the best players selected. Can you sign your DC up to a team outside of school? Lots of outside teams have A, B and C teams so most kids get to play others of similar ability.

I used to have the same problem with DC1. It was frustrating. It all got better at secondary school because they were results-oriented rather than about picking favourites.

DC2 was a favourite (and also super sporty) so always got picked.

My youngest is quite good at sport. She could swim at 4.5y. And has finished lessons within 2y. So the swimming instructor thinks her strokes are good.
For school however i cant see her being picked for anything when there are matches. That is i think that
She cries very easily.
There is an amount of nepotism within the school where teachers dc always win everything etc.
In a similar way she is pretty good at maths (doing some work 2y ahead) but doesnt get to go to the maths club.

However op, is your dc actually good at sport?
As also school clubs here are relatively poor quality compared to say team football or gymnastics. They arent being taught. (Similar to only learning to swim from school lessons vs ones by stage.

Maybe train your dc for sports day so they get noticed

At my kids primary the obvious best kids were picked and then after that it was sometimes the kids of parents who could help by driving to fixtures! Getting kids to fixtures was a real problem, the parents of the v sporty kids never seemed to be free!
It is annoying, my DC played in the netball club at school, then when it came to choosing the team for competition, they just picked the football A team, even though several of them had never played netball before.

How are you so sure there is no criteria/etc?

To represent a school, they often have a criteria/agenda

Many sporting events at this level are participation and not competitive events .School may be focused on ensuring they are giving opportunities for enrichment to those children that do not get the wider opportunities or access to out of school sports or paid clubs as opposed to choosing the most talented etc .
It may not be the case here but could be a factor.

There are many other kids being excluded too,

So, again, your child isn't being excluded.

What you mean is, you are annoyed your child isn't picked for a team to play other schools.
That isn't being excluded.

OP, I get it. DS1 wasn’t picked for the Year3/4 cricket team (despite going to the club). He then made the County squad at the beginning of Y5…and is now picked, because the teacher was (to quote someone who knows him from the village cricket club) ‘very embarrassed that he’d assumed DS1 was a rubbish cricketer because he’s a rubbish footballer’. We didn’t complain but other parents have (they tell me) because this chap picks the DC who either are the DC of the chaps he drinks with or play for his (out of school) football club. Same kids for swimming, hockey, athletics, football, cricket, rounders etc etc. and obviously so because their photos are plastered all over the school Facebook page.

Feeling excluded is demoralising and demotivating which are bad effects for a teacher or department to be having on primary aged children.

I think you should put your opinion in writing to the headteacher and insist on being given written feedback regarding their selection process.

We have done that, asked how it works so our child can improve in any areas but there was no clear answer and we can’t explain to our child why they are never ever ever being chosen while others are every time. It’s very demoralising and to me the message to our child is that they are not good enough and it’s having a negative impact on his mental health. We try to get them to focus on the other positive things that they are doing outside the school, all the other achievements but they want to be part of the school group too, their friends go to a lot of events . It’s not about behaviour, or that the school gives the opportunity to others who can’t have access to after school activities. The way I see it, (not just for my own child but also for other kids whose parents gave up on complaining about the same issue) is that the school is being far from being fair. Not everyone gets the opportunity, there are favourites and it’s not because of their ability either.