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Mum friend I’m not sure on - AIBU?

4 replies

SpunkyMintZebra · 20/05/2024 12:16

So basically I have a 3 month old, this is my second baby, my first was born in 2020 when lockdown had just started and so I’ve made the point this time to get out and do the baby things I couldn’t do before.
I’ve met a mum who asked for my number and wanted to meet up, we did, she’s nice but we just don’t have anything in common - at all.
She has a lot of anxiety so asks for advice a lot - which is fine, it isnt a problem as I know being a mum is hard - it’s just, knowing this, it makes me feel bad if I sort of cut off contact from her….
Do I just meet up with her and hang out and just deal that we don’t really actually get on? She asks me to meet, I never ask her. I’m just polite and say yes, say I’m busy when I don’t want too but I can’t say I’m busy every time going forward…
She lives in the same area as me also so could easily bump in to her out and about too.
I don’t know what to do? Just as I’m typing this she has messaged me asking to hang out!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mindutopia · 20/05/2024 12:43

Just keep making your excuses and slowly stop responding. There is no point having friends you don't enjoy and have nothing in common with.

frelot · 20/05/2024 13:20

I value my time too much to spend time with anyone whose company isn't meaningful to me. I find anxious mums quite draining as I'm not like that at all and I find it needy. When Ive encountered mums like that wanting to meet up, I've simply not agreed to meet ups and it has fizzled out after a short time.

Upinthenightagain · 20/05/2024 13:26

I went for a few coffees with another mum last year. I didn’t really think we had much in common for various reasons so stopped arranging to meet. We still say hello and occasionally chat in the street when I see her on the school run which is almost daily. Not quite the same I realise but just make excuses a few times or be late responding. It doesn’t have to be awkward going forward

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LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 20/05/2024 14:39

Arrange to meet up at a place where other mums will be - and introduce her to them?

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