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17-year-old daughter has a *much* older "friend"?!

2 replies

TheSharpPinkGoose · 19/05/2024 18:22

Hello, fellow mums, I need some advice. So, my soon-to-be 18-year-old daughter plays tennis recreationally quite often. Apparently, about a month ago she met a man at the sports center they both go to to play tennis and they became "friends". The guy in question is 31 years old. Daughter told my husband and I about him a couple of days ago because she wanted to know if we'd like to meet him / if she can bring him home; plus she said she doesn't want to hide anything from us. From what she told us they hung out together often outside of tennis-playing hours. We were obviously taken aback by the age gap and told her we'll think about it. We explicitly asked her if he's a boyfriend and she firmly said no. We don't really know what to do: we can't ban her from seeing him, according to her they're not even in a relationship, but we don't feel comfortable "approving" this either. Should we agree to meet him? Any suggestions are welcome.

OP posts:
MiddleagedBeachbum · 19/05/2024 18:24

Meet him 100% then judge the situation!

FizzyStream · 19/05/2024 18:42

I started seeing a 30 yo when I was 18. Moved in with him when I was 19, him 31, we had a lot of disapproval but strangely not from either of our parents! Mainly mutual friends. I lived with him until I was 21 and the relationship naturally ended because we had different priorities and the age gap was an issue but not in an awful way. We had fun and I don't regret it at all. We're still friends now.

Don't come down too heavy is my advice. Keep an open mind and try and keep communications with your DD open.

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