How do you deal with mum guilt?

[SnoodieLife]

Just as the title says really, how do you deal with any guilt you feel as a parent? I'd like to think I'm a good mum but I do feel overwhelmed alot of the time, being a parent is harder then I ever could of realised. I don't hit my children but I've got to the end of my tether before and shouted, there were times when DS was little and he used to have night terrors and when I was exhausted I would feel impatient with him when really I should of just held him and made him feel safe 😢 my youngest was having a tantrum after nursery today that felt like it went on for ages and I went to walk towards her to get her to sit down and calm down but something about the way I moved towards her must of scared her, she had a look of fear on her face which has broken my heart, like I say I don't punish them physically or verbally abused them or anything like that I just feel so awful, the last thing I'd ever want my children to feel because of me is fear, now im replaying every moment since ive become a mum that ive regretted or wished i could go back and change 😔

I’m sure every parent feels like this sometimes!

My personal guilt point is around not engaging properly with them. Both my DDs proudly define themselves as chatterboxes so I tend to listen with half an ear (at most) most of the time. One day after I actually listened, my four year gave me hug and said thank you and I felt so bad that she realised the difference between me actually paying attention or not!

I expect they will remember completely different incidents from their childhood than I expect and hopefully they’ll remember the ones that don’t make me feel that I’ve let them down.

I have lost my cool and snapped causing my toddler to cry. It's horrible. I give him a cuddle and apologise. I say "mummy shouldn't have shouted, that wasn't nice." And then I do my best to put it behind me and move on.

It's hard. You have to dig really deep not to lose your cool. I recognise where my pressure points are in the day and change things to make them easier. The best thing is to have the support of my husband at these points in the day, but if he's not around I make sure they are as easy for me to deal with as possible. Have a think about where/what your pressure points are and maybe shake things up that aren't working for you.