working full time with two preschoolers

[fulltimeworkerornot]

I currently work part time, 3 days a week with my 1 and 3 year old in nursery for the 3 days, then me at home with them 2, plus the weekends with me and DH at home.

I have been offered a promotion however this will mean working 5 days a week.

I had always hoped to stay part time until they started school, however this is a good opportunity for me.

The main reasons I like DC having time at home during the week is because of the slower pace of the day, we can go to the shops/park/soft play/farm etc and everything feels more set up for them, whereas when we do these things at the weekend it is carnage with more people/older children around. Also toddler groups don't happen at the weekend and a lot of the time meeting with friends with younger children is during the week IME. I/we get chores/errands done which does free up the weekends too.

Things like potty training (easier to get a long run of days off). teaching them how to do things for themselves like getting dressed etc all sound minor however on working days it feels like a big rush and therefore we do a lot more 'to them' just to get them out the door/into bed.

My DH can't go part time as unfortunately he is the higher earner even with my promotion, and with rising costs this isn't an option.

Would really appreciate any stories from those who have worked full time with children under school age, how was it only having weekends, did you still manage to keep toddler play dates, did you feel they had time to develop at their own pace? I know how lucky I have been and completely understand this isn't a choice for everyone. I am in a privileged position to have a decision to make, but these are my concerns.

My personal I gave up work to spend with our 3 toddlers till school and wouldn't change a second. Joint decision by hubby and me and he also cut back a bit and it's certainly made our family stronger and closer

I have always worked full time - DCs now 6 and 3. We solved the issues you mention by having a nanny so the DCs could have those experiences at home that you mention. It has worked really well for us though it is expensive. A childminder could be a good alternative?

Or I have a friend who has a nanny from 3pm so her younger child has shorter nursery days and the older one doesn’t need to do after school club, which is also a good balance.

Btw potty training only takes a few days if you do it at the right point - with dc 1 I took 2 days off work so had 4 days (inc weekend), DC2 did it over a bank holiday. Stuff like getting dressed themselves can be practised at weekends - there is no rush for that.

What’s nice about not using nursery though is the time and space in their own homes with their own toys, and being able to get involved in normal household stuff like meal prep, tidying up, and going to the shops. Plus massive convenience of having someone to cover holidays and illnesses.

Personally, I’d stick to part time if you can afford to and want to. You’ll never get these early years back to those things that you mention. I was thinking just today at the park how blissfully quiet it was even on a lovely day with families dotted about but I knew if it was the weekend it would be rammed and crazy busy.

I struggle with these kinds of things I try to look ahead and think about when I retire or when the kids leave home, how will I feel about each choice.
If you feel like you would be more glad you took the job or alternatively that you took more time with the kids then that helps you decide.
There are no right answers, I work 4 days a week and I wish I also had a 5 day weekend on top of that.
Also think about whether you want your children to have a certain experience, or whether you want to share that experience with them.
Regarding the job you can try pushing back on the full time thing also.
Good luck, there's literally no right answer so just do your best and have a backup plan if possible.