My mother-in-law is driving me mad

[scrummymum]

I have a 4 year old DD and a 3 month old DS and am a SAHM. I have always been a neat/clean freak and I am always so organised with lists coming out of my ears. I also try to do things during the week. DD goes to Nursery for 2 and a half days and we also go to a mother/toddler group, swimming lessons and dance class on top of visiting friends so that they can play with their kids.

Since DS has been born, I have been falling behind with my jobs. It is driving me mad because I am usually so on top of things. When DH mentions that I am really busy at the moment, his mum says that I should get into a routine (which I do but it isn't that that is the problem but the fact that there is always too much stuff to do) and when DH says that it is because I have 2 kids now, she responds by saying "what do you think I did when I had 2).

She is also a very clean person in her home but she never took her kids to any classes or anything and she is not as organised as I am with other stuff. She just makes me feel like I am doing a bad job at being a mother and a housewife.

Please tell me that it isn't just me who finds themselves running around like a headless chicken and still not manage to get everything done.

It is definately not just you!!!!!

Seriously though, really think you need to lighten up a little, stop being so hard on yourself. You sound as thought you're doing a fantastic job bringing up your children so what does it matter if things have to be done a little differently at the moment? When they are both at school you'll have all the time you need and believe me, the time you have at the moment with them will just fly by. Your jobs will get done, so relax and enjoy your children without thinking of the housework, it will still be there in the morning!
As for mil, smile sweetly, ignore her unhelpful comments as you know she's talking bollocks, and do things your way.

Oh my God
First of all, your MIL has forgotten what it was like to have a 3 month old. Believe me. So she is being ridiculous by suggesting you havenT got things under control with such a tiny baby. It takes 18 months for your body to recover from the birth so you should tell her that in most traditional societies, women are not supposed to go back to proper work until their bodies have recovered. This new idea of springing back to the housework after a few months is some kind of weird <span class="italic">myth</span> created by the media, and perpetuated by mother in laws. And for her, the housework was probably her <span class="italic">life</span>- it definitely sounds like it. NO sane person mentions the tidiness of a womans house when she has a baby in tow

Youll never be able to change her behaviour, so you have two options. 1) Tell your husband that his mother is not treating you respectfully, so would he politely tell her that if she sees something regarding the house that she wants to comment on, would she kindly keep it to herself. You dont comment on her house, and she doesnt have a 3 month old. Or 2) you could just not take her seriously <span class="italic">at</span> <span class="italic">all</span>. If she says your house is a mess, just smile politely- you do <span class="italic">not</span> need her approval. If shes got nothing better to do than look at other peoples houses and make comments on their tidiness, then she is very sad. Im sure you`re doing absolutely fine, by the way.

My MIL was so critical when DD was born. SheD totally forgotten about the whole thing, I could tell. She lives with her son and other DIL, who is due next month. Im just waiting with glee at the shock she is going to have at being reminded what its like to live with a new baby, rather than just visit it to coo a bit.