Hi
my DS is 16 weeks old and I am a FTM. Since he’s been born I think it’s fairly normal that myself and my partner have had a bit of a knock to our relationship, I’m not worried as generally things are good we just don’t have as much time for each other. We are both aware of this and have tried to plan in ‘date time’ where babysitter is prearranged and we ensure we go out together. We have done this over night once a few weeks ago when my Mum looked after DS at our house. I trust my Mum implicitly, she sees DS at least once a week since he was born and absolutely dotes on him.
Normally DS is a pretty chilled out baby. He is BF and I express if I leave him with my Mum or Aunt (the only people he has been left with). Today when DH came home from work I went to the gym which is a normal occurrence. DS normally settles well for his Dad, sometimes better than for me as he can’t smell the milk on him! However today after an hour DH messaged me to say he couldn’t settle him. I came home to found DS literally screaming crying, DH was trying to give him some expressed milk but he was so worked up he wouldn’t have it. I took DS from him and he threw up everywhere, I was then able to settle him on the breast. I think it shocked us both a bit as he’s never been like before and my DH felt a bit panicked not knowing what to do. However DS has been a bit unwell with a cold the last couple of days and this has been bothering him so maybe to do with that.
anyway on Sunday we are due to go to a show away from home. DS is supposed to be going to my Brother and Sister in Laws from 12pm-10pm. He has seen them a good few times but always with me or my DH. They have 3 kids themselves and I am not worried about their capacity to look after him I’m just worried that he doesn’t know them well enough. My Mum has told me he will be fine and that I need to let people on my DH side of the family babysit too which I do agree with. However after tonight I feel even more worried about it, and keep thinking what if he doesn’t settle or gets so upset he throws up etc. I’m worried it will traumatise him and won’t be fair on them. Is it normal to feel like this as a FTM and should I just go with it and try not to worry? Or am I being selfish and putting the needs of me and DH before my son?