DH struggling to bond

[Jellliiie]

DD is 3.5mo, ebf but switching to bottles soon as I don’t want to bf anymore.

dh is struggling to bond. He loves her but says she doesn’t feel like his like he feels like the connection is different than with our older child who he felt he bonded with quicker

she has been stuck to me will only settle for me etc

any tips how I can help? When I switch to bottles he can give her them, he changes nappies but is there anything specific that’ll help ?

I think this is really normal OP. With the second baby, it's natural for the dad to be preoccupied with DC1 while you breastfeed etc, so the bond takes longer to develop. Don't worry - it will come! Just try swapping when you can so it's not always you with the baby and DH with the toddler. Nice for you to have some time with DC1 too.

He can bathe her, cuddle her, sway with her, wear her in a baby carrier, I never understand why feeding them bottles is always automatically seen as the way for dads to bond with them.

This was my DP's experience with our first. I think its common and just one of those things that gets better over time. he suggested bottle feeding would help but all it done was stress me out because now i needed to pump on top of bring primary care giver. And it wasn't fair on me so I stopped doing it. He did form a lovely bond with baby after a few more months. There is sooooo much more he can do to help build a bond, as pp has suggested.

I didn't bond with my 2nd until he was 18 months old. I don't know why. I just went through the motions, never told anyone at the time . Fake till you make it, I suppose. I love both to bits now

I was worried he’d never bond but I guess it’ll just take time. He says he loves her but she doesn’t feel like his daughters it’s hard :/ :(

Taking the pressure off and time, that's what'll do it.