3 at crazy stage I need help with ideas please.

[ILOVEPINK123]

Hello

So I have a 10 year old autistic child who was nothing like this so now that my 2nd is 3... this is my 1st time having to deal with this.

She's insane for lack of a better word lol. But she hits and throws things at us all. She will will laugh its all fun for her. She is not relaxing to be around and I'm stuck in 4 days a week with the 2 of them because of my eldests disability.

I need play ideas. I think I need to turn myself into a play therapist type person. It does not come naturally.

What can I do Indoors? Basically we do drawing, it's throwe everywhere and walls mess with being drawn on...we play play doh... she just steals it all smooshes it together and then it's over ... nothing lasts long even 1 to 1 play doesn't seem to go anywhere.

Please help me with ideas. Im homeschooling them as my eldest can't cope in school.

I've got to get them out in the evening when husband home on those 4 days Mon to Thursday. Friday Saturday Sunday easier as husband around with the car ( eldest can't do taxi or public transport pda autism)

Have you looked at the book The Out of Sync Child Has Fun?

It's meant to have loads of really good sensory play ideas which might help with regulation as well.

The OT Butterfly on Instagram always has good stuff too - maybe look at her website. And The Occuplaytional Therapist has loads of stuff on her website and Facebook.

Oh sorry I misread - I thought you were looking for play activities for your 10yo. Well anyway - the above should be helpful at 3 as well, but I would also look up The Busy Book and any book of Montessori activity ideas.

Is it worth looking at a preschool place for your 3yo so you get a bit of space to breathe?

3 year olds don't last long on much.

Any chance you can access a pre school at all?

Failing that:

Create a playroom.
Wallpaper lining paper or blackboard paint on the walls
Rugs on the floor - you can get road map type ones for toy cars
Split toys up into boxes and rotate the boxes. So you have duplo, trains, dolls, cars, etc etc.

Crafts for three year olds are inevitably messy I usually did them in the garden,

Do you have any outside space at all?

Trish Kuffner is the author of the Busy Books.

When you say you're stuck at home, do you mean the entire day? She'll be going out of her mind.

Can't she go to nursery?

Seconding the boxes idea. I have 3yo twins and they can be bonkers and make a huge mess.

We keep all the toys in one room so iftoys are found anywhere else you can chuck them straight back in. One box is out. When they get bored, it all has to be chucked back into the box before the next one comes out. Crafting stuff is all out of reach and only comes out when I can properly supervise.

Homeschooling sounds tough under those circumstances. Any chance of 2 or 3 mornings if preschool so you can give more focus to the older child at those times and them more focus on younger one at other times? My boys do 2 mornings and it's a godsend. Good socialization for them too.

Why do you have t get them out in the evening??? That sounds tricky

If you don't have any outdoor space you can replicate some outdoor stuff inside -

Get a long shallow crate (the under bed sort) and if you get three or four you can fill them with

Sand and sand toys
Rice (buy a big bag of rice from the supermarket)
Water and pouring toys (temporarily only)

You'll want plastic for the floor - Amazon sell a tarp that's about 3m by 2m.

You could also buy a grow bag and grow some plants inside.

Getting both of them outside will help - if you don't have outside space are there parks or similar nearby?

The youngest is best at nursery or pre school.

Tuff trays - look on Pinterest
Painting stones
Baking
Colour matching objects
Rice in a sandwich bag with a dolop of paint
Pasta necklaces

Great idea. Thank you everyone. Yes it's stressful. My daughter 10 year old is a pda autistic. She won't go on public transport so when husband home we go out with them, this applies Mon to Thursday. Friday, Sat, Sunday we are out on day trips or soft play etc. But those 4 days... we have a small garden downstairs, my 10 year old won't go down to that... we have a close space that's quite light and airy maybe can use that for a sand type activity. Would need bring it in and out. We live in a maisonette ( upstairs downstairs inside a close)

Thinking of getting a lockable tub to sit outside the front door and then cam use the outdoor things in the close next to the window. Its a flat bright area right outside front door. Although council putting new neighbours in some point across the landing and just hope it's nice folks. But we have the space anyway so should be no moans hopefully lol

Sending her to nursery would be best for everyone. Even if it's just for a few days. If she can't go to nursery then I would structure your day like a nursery.

Start the morning easy and take your time over breakfast. Get her to help even if it's just setting out cereal and a little jug of milk so she can pour it herself. Give her a banana and blunt knife to chop up for her porridge. Butter her own toast. That sort of thing. Get her up on a kitchen helper stool to help wash the dishes up afterwards.

Structure the day rigidly with specific set times for story, songs, snack, activities, telly etc. It'll help you stay sane to have a routine. You could even make a little picture timetable for her on the wall to show her what's happening each day.

Have a look online at ideas for ikea flisat table set ups. It doesn't need to be complicated. Kinetic sand with seashells, stones, and various spades and scoops are a big hit with my toddler. Also little toy diggers and trucks. Put a few towels down under it and it can be a water tray- give her various jugs and cups to pour with. Or just fill it with interesting pasta shapes.

Tuff trays are great for this kind of thing too. You can set them up to be themed. At Christmas my son had a tuff tray full of cotton wool balls for snow and little Christmas figurines.

Pinterest is great for easy arts and crafts ideas. Again, it's a good idea to link them to a theme- either a season or holiday or book she currently enjoys.

Empty out the recycling bin and do junk modelling- make houses, castles, car garages etc.

Do you have the space for some things for her to climb on? Our house is very small but we have a pikler triangle and slide. It folds so we have it hanging on our bedroom wall on large hooks and bring it out when needed. He clambers about on that or we put blankets over it to make dens. There are also small sets of soft play cubes etc that all fit together and store quite small.

Have story time followed by some tv time. There are so many animated versions of books now. You could read a Julia Donaldson and then watch the animated version from iPlayer for example. I'd have some carefully timed telly time half way through the day to save your sanity.

Whenever we're stuck at home bathtime becomes a bigger deal. Any toy that won't break in the bath is allowed in. We've had Duplo baths and mega blocks baths and monster truck baths!

At that age my son loved playing with (clean!!) recycling - washed out yoghurt pots, cardboard boxes, empty plastic bottles etc etc. he would never sit and draw, but given a cardboard box he'd decorate it for hours. Filling containers with something non-messy like dry pasta. Even better if he has some tape to stick things together.

For his 4th birthday one of his presents was a multi-pack of masking tape. He was so happy he took it to bed and cuddled it like a teddy

Will your 10 year old not go out at all? To a park? Your 3 year old needs to run, they’ll be going crazy stick at home for 4 days in a row. If there’s no hope of getting out for a few days then send them to nursery. They need to socialise with other children in groups anyway.

I don’t know of many 3 year olds who do well being at home/inside 4 days back to back. Mine would be absolutely climbing the walls by day 2.

Can she attend pre school? Mine goes to one that is part of our local primary 9-3. He loves it. He has lots of friends and comes home shattered from so much running around.

PDA autism is so tricky so I feel for you, but I don’t think you should minimise the impact on your DD2 in all of this as well. She can’t routinely be expect to be inside 4 days I don’t think.

If your 3 year old is sensory seeking from being bored inside, consider things like a sensory swing, rocking balance board, spinning seat etc.

Is your 10 year old save enough to be left inside while you go down to the garden? Perhaps with a tablet or games consolidation to hold her attention.

Other indoor things can be messy in the bath or with plastic dust sheets down. Think foam, cornflour goo, paper scissors and sticking. I found my kids loved tubs of things like rice and lentils with spoons, cups and bowls to play with. They get everywhere, even with a blanket down, but east to sweep up.

The is fabulous advice and I'm really motivated to do these things now! Thank you. Such encouraging information. X

Hello. Its 4 day times in a row yes. 6pm we are out the door to park since daddy will be home to drive and 10 year old just won't go out during the day parks a bit of a way. So Mon to thur from wake up till 6pm yes... homebound lol its tough yes

I totally understand this and yes I've thought about nursery. She's just turned 3 so it's early. Thank you 😊

1 day a month I go to a play group with them My 10 year old hates even that 1 day a month. And social at soft play top but yeah need more of it.

@Veggielove84

I've thought of a few other things OP.

A friend of ours has an amazing swing set that they got off of Amazon. It attaches to the door frame and can hold a grown adult's weight. Great space-saving idea.

You could also get chalkboard paint and paint her inside bedroom door as a space to draw, or get a whiteboard for her wall where she can scribble away.

We have a roll of Japanese calligraphy paper (you can get it on Amazon) and it's a fab mess-free way to paint. You just "paint" with brushes dipped in water and the paper dries clear again to be re-used over and over.

I'd definitely get her into a nursery ASAP though as no one has the energy for all these amazing Pinterest ideas all the time and she really needs to be playing outdoors as much as possible.

Good luck x

Get her to nursery. She qualifies for 30 free hours but you don't have to use them all, but I'll be astonished if you don't when you see how much she enjoys it and how you enjoy the break!

@0ddsocks that's adorable 🥰

This sounds really hard so hats off to you for doing the best you can, they are lucky to have you

Dance party? We have dance sessions a couple of times a day. Mix of kids stuff and regular adult songs and cheesy kitchen disco type stuff

Daytime bath? You can get bath crayons or coloured bath bombs, helps mix up bath time a bit and makes it take longer

3 isn’t early. She’ll be going to school in 18 months time, if she spend 4 days a week at home she really needs the socialisation and learning in a group setting or it’ll be a huge change when she starts school. She’ll probably love the chance to go instead of spending 4 days inside, anyone would go crazy with that.

It doesn't sound like OP works, so 3yr old won't qualify for any free hours

@climbershell

Both parents have to work to get the funded hours? That sucks. In Scotland all 3 and 4 year olds are entitled. Work status and income don't matter.