Toddler massively prefers dad to the point of stress

[ecossegirl91]

My little one is 19m old and within the last few months has turned in to a daddy’s boy, which when it first happened I was fine with as I know they go through preferential phases however it’s now gotten worse and worse. He had zero interest in me when the both of us are together and even when it’s 1:1 if dad is out he spends so much time yelling and crying for dad, refusing to hug me etc pushing me away. He’s been poorly recently and I took time off work to look after him but he didn’t want anything to do with me. Dad worked from home a few days to help out and literally every time I took him off his dad he screamed and screamed to the point of almost vomiting. He just doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and it’s starting to hurt my feelings, I can feel my eyes nipping with tears just typing this.
i was fully expecting preferential phases but not like this

i took a year mat leave with him and then went back to work full time so it’s not even as if dad is a novelty because I’m a sham, I should be a novelty too? What can I do?

Hi! I know it was a while ago you posted this, but I’m having this same issue at the minute with my 17 month old. Sometimes when my husband leaves the house or even just room she screams and cries as if she is terrified to be left with me and it is sooo upsetting.

how is it going??

Ouch. Toddlers can be fickle little sods can’t they.

Leave him to it for now. He is so little still, he will go through many phases.

Hello!👋 oh it got much better. It lasted a good solid month and now he flips between us both on the daily 😅 I think maybe dad still has a little bit of preference but nothing like before. The only time he really shows a big preference for his daddy really is when we go on holidays 🤷🏼‍♀️ who knows what that’s about!

Glad it's got better for you @ecossegirl91

Can I add the view from the other side? My DD is now 22

She's always been a massive daddy's girl. Not to the extent you describe, but she's always preferred him. Always.

I got paranoid a bit when she was young, and thought my role was irrelevant, until my best friend pointed out "but she adores you"
She and he have very similar temperaments, which probably helps their bond.

And I think as parents we provide different things at different times, and fulfill varying needs.

He's probably a bit more Disney, I'm definitely more short-fused and shouty

She's an (amazing!) adult now.
She probably still prefers her dad, but I'd say she'd say she's got a great relationship with both of us

I'd urge seeing their bond as something to celebrate, and a handy reason to pass the buck when you need a break