Returning to work dilema

[ExcitingTimes2023]

So I’m due to return to work after my second baby beginning of September. When I return I will have just turned 3 year old and a 10 month old. I’m a ward based nurse and when I returned after baby number one they agreed to a flexible work pattern but said I had to work night shifts even though I had a very wakeful baby. I managed to negotiate minimal night shift and me and my partner made it work.

Now I was praying to the baby Gods that I would get a good sleeper the second time round but I have been blessed with another horror show at night. It takes two of us to manage a baby who wakes every 30 - 60 mins and a toddler who requires a lot of sleep support too. There is no way partner would manage on his own without everyone ending up crying themselves to sleep.

I also know since my request for no night shifts was refused two/three other members of the team have been granted basically permanent night shifts for childcare reasons. So I don’t think it’s fair that they refuse my request this time round for permanent day shifts as it’s basically the same request.

So when do I open discussions with my manager? Should I be contacting her now so she has plenty of time to try to facilitate my request or leave it til a bit closer to the time. The reason I’m worrying is that if they say I have to work nights I will need to look for a new role as I’m not willing to put my little family through that until they are older and sleeping better, I’m thinking school age. Or at least 12/18 months. I also need to arrange childcare for whatever hours I’m returning to. With the free hours for working parents coming in nursery places are filling fast and I want to secure any extra days for my two littles.

Sorry a bit of a long winded post there.

I’d speak to work sooner rather than later and also speak to a sleep consultant. Even if you’re able to work days only the situation isn’t healthy (and I say that as a parent of a horrific sleeper too).

Yes, I would make the request for a new shift arrangement as soon as possible. This means your management can build your request into other plans and requests in the next few months. I’m not NHS but most organisations have a procedure for making flexible working requests or change of shift/hours - make sure you follow policy to the letter and also get yourself informed how the decision is made, what communications should happen per the policy, so you can make sure things happen properly.

It sounds like there is a good window of opportunity here if others in the team actively prefer the night shifts! Good luck

@ClockHolly thanks so much for your reply. Yes I have been thinking to contact them so that it’s sorted and I can stop worrying.

i actually hired a Sleep consultant with my first. £600 it cost be for a bespoke package and her sleep didn’t improve. The only thing that worked for us was time. Not ideal but it was £600 down the drain. I wish I could fix his sleep but I’m not in the position to waste £600 this time round, and no sleep consultants offer money back guarantee 😂😂😂

@SpringKitten thanks for your reply. Yes. I know the policies like the back of my hand. In the NHS there is a policy for everything both clinical and none clinical. I’m known as the nurse who checks the policies at work, and then quotes them back to managers 😂😂😂 x