5 year old bedtime

[MamaGarl85]

After a particularly difficult bed time with DD (5yo), I am after a spot of perspective.

What time are your 5yos going to bed and what does your bedtime routine look like?

6.30 bath
7pm stories
Usually asleep by 7.30pm

Nearly 5 yr old, no later than 7:30 after bath and story, or if no bath 5 mins tv and snuggles on our bed.

She'll sleep for 11 hrs so if she goes to bed earlier she'll wake up earlier and vice versa.

Why was it difficult?

DD 5 can be MANIC at bedtime, like so silly she loses the plot. It’s horrific. that happens perhaps one night in every couple of weeks. I dread it. Think it’s worse if she’s overtired

Normal routine is bed at 7

So run bath at 6pm then do bath, stories & milk, teeth, bed

Is this going to make you feel better? I am worried you might only get responses from people who have a good bedtime routine?
My DD is 5, our bedtime routine after bath/ teeth is 2 books for her & (3yr old) DS, all say goodnight, DS goes to bed 7pm. DD and I read/ chat for another 30 mins then she goes to bed. 9/10 evenings it’s pleasant. However our mealtimes are a shtshow and neither of them will get themselves dressed in the morning, so def not 100% winning here.

DS (5.5) it's bath at 7:15-7:30, stories (7:30-7:45), asleep by 8. We tried to bring the bedtime forward a couple of times but he just wasn't tired and it didn't work, but the routine we have now works well for us.

This is my 5 year olds bedtime routine too. I would say be consistent and within a week it'll start becoming the normal

My 5 year old has been going to sleep later since the clocks went forward, it’s frustrating because he’s tired and grumpy in the mornings.

He goes up for lights off by 7 (earlier if I can) after a story and songs (bath every other night) but is often still awake half an hour, 45 minutes later. Sometimes at 8pm he’s still awake. He’s not causing problems unless his brother goes in too then all hell breaks loose, but I don’t know why he’s all of a sudden not tired - he has black out blinds and curtains.

My child has just turned 5 and we have just pushed bedtime back abit. Up until now it was a 7.30-8pm asleep time , but now we aim for him to be asleep between 8 and 8.30pm. It used to be 7pm for years, but he just doesn't need that amount of sleep anymore.

I'm probably going to get roasted here, but we read him a book or tell him a story and then allow him to watch 20 mins on his tablet (bluey for example) in the dark. After that, I ask him the same question everyday, " tell me about 3 things you've done today" This allows him 10 mins or so to just chat about school or anything else as I've found he tells me nothing straight after school but wants to tell us everything at bedtime haha! We then have cuddles and kisses and he goes to sleep u, usually within 5 mins.

Every night we do the same thing, Bath or shower at 7pm then we read two books to her and she gets to listen to 2 stories on my phone and I lie with her till she goes to sleep. However every night she complains she doesn't like bedtime, she isn't tired etc... it can take anywhere up to an hour and a half before she gives in and goes to sleep!

However tonight as soon as we lay down to go to sleep she started crying, this then worked up to screaming, angry crying, kicking...in the end we went back downstairs, had a little chat and looked at a couple of books until she was calm and I took her back up. By this time it was a little after 9 😪

Baths and showers wake my child up more and for that reason we don't do bath/shower just before bed. It doesn't always relax them, have you tried a bath earlier?

In case this makes you feel better... DS is 4.5 and typically goes to sleep around 9.30, after we have been tearing our hair out for 90 mins trying to get him to stay in bed and settle down 😞

Thank you, that does make me feel better!

Although I am sorry you are struggling too ❤

Bath around 6 or if showering a little later, milk and stories, then teeth. Lights out by 7, Yoto for half an hour on timer but usually asleep before it goes off. If it's much later he starts getting manic . If we're out and going to be later we take PJ's and toothbrush and he usually falls asleep in the car

Since my girls were young, we would do bath, little massage, story, into bed, kiss and a cuddle and we would leave them to fall asleep by themselves. They are always both asleep within minutes -DD5 and DD2. Their bedtime at the moment is 7:15/30, this will probably change as newborn will be added to the mix soon.
Neither child has ever asked for us to stay with them while they fall asleep, and I know if I was to start they would be awake for hours! I think it would be so distracting trying to fall asleep while someone is watching you and waiting for you to fall asleep? I’ve witnessed my nephew try and keep himself awake, because he knew as soon as he fell asleep his mum was going to leave the room and he didn’t want to be left!

My 5 year old would not be able to go to sleep as early as everyone else's! We start the bedtime routine at 7:45 and he's usually asleep around half 8 after stories and a chat and one of us will stay with him until he's asleep. He wakes at about half 6 and this seems fine in terms of amount of sleep for him?

Oh and yes, he messes around like mad at bedtime too. Doesn't want to go, makes excusea, is hungry, is thirsty etc 😅 but is usually worn out by half 8ish.

Ds who is 4.5 is currently going to sleep around 8p.m occasionally 8.30pm but we know that is too late...life just gets in the way..

Our ds2 who is 2.5 was holding out to almost 9pm tonight even though lights were out and we weren't engaging with him after his books and some talking etc.

Ideally they would be asleep by 7.30pm.

Dinner at 5:30
Bath at 6pm
TV/Xbox/tablet time until 7:30pm while I'm getting the younger ones to sleep). Usually a snack too
7:30-7:45pm bed, where we read his school book and talk about the day. Lights straight off, no screens in bed

I actually asked my son if he would like a massage. He agreed and when I was massaging his legs he said "oh this is making me feel sleepy!" I said "yes! That's the point!" And every now and then he likes me to do that and he just dozes off. It's super cute.

I think you just need to be tough for a few nights and then she will understand you don't tolerate mucking around but if she goes into her bed nice and calm, she gets 3 books, a song whatever.

We do take a snack/supper and drink to bed, I read one story whilst he has that snack, I then read one more story with his nightlight on and he has to be laying down for that or I don't open the book, and then once that one is finished I cover over the nightlight with a muslin so it's a bit dimmer but more dark, and I read one last book or sing one song. After that it's silence from me, a kiss, a back rub or whatever if he hasn't fallen asleep by the time i finish the book.

What about getting her a yoto? They are screen free but you push in a story card to listen to. It also has lovely songs on the yoto radio which turns Into gentle music at bedtime, and a daily podcast. She might like something a bit novel to do at bedtime?

We have tea at 6ish, upstairs at 7ish then about 90 minutes of chaos before my 5yo goes to sleep at about 8.30. My 3yo doesn't go to sleep till 9, they're both up at about 7 (with a few wakes from the 3yo). I find it weird to think of 5yos asleep at 7 as we've never had such an early bed (other than in my dreams!)

Bath and bedtime routine starts at 7.30pm, falls asleep between 8.45-9.15pm. DD is almost 6 but has fallen asleep around 9pm since she was 3. It works well for her and us, and she consistently wakes at 7am and never earlier.

Two books and two stories and having you there might be too much?

IME with my kids I've found what works best is either having a bit more of a ritual with the stories, audiobooks/music/whatever but then we leave them to it, or I stay but it's fairly simple. I mostly did this when they were younger and still breastfeeding, but basically if I was going to stay there then I didn't draw it out with loads of extra things. It seems to make it more of a problem when we have done both.

If she is going to kick off about you leaving I have found an approach of leaving for short periods (e.g. say I need a wee) and then extending this over time works well. Or you can do a reward chart for staying in bed on her own.

I wouldn't go by whether a 5yo says they are tired or not as they just say that because they want to be allowed to stay up and do more playing or whatever. How quickly does she normally fall asleep, and how unreasonable does she become if allowed to stay up (or bedtime drags on)? That's a better judge of how tired she is.

We aim for bath at 6.30pm, into PJ's and then we do his school reading book, then either three chapters of a longer book or three shorter picture books, then teeth and into bed. He had a Yoto box and he chooses a card to listen to while going to sleep. That routine has been pretty much set in stone since he was little. If he got out of bed we'd take him back again and we were consistent every single time. He's usually asleep by 7.30/8pm but sometimes later.

He has always needed a bit of energy releasing playtime when we go upstairs - jumping on beds, practicing gymnastics, chasing his brother around, tickling, hide and seek etc. Even if it's just five minutes while I'm sorting out PJ's/putting washing away/running the bath it seems to help him wind down.

What time is she getting up, and how much sleep do you think she actually needs? Both my children are low sleep needs, and although my eldest isn't quite five yet, lights out is generally 8.00-8.15, and then she's up around 6.15-6.45. If we wanted a later wake up, we'd need a later bedtime.

I was the same as a child, and although my parents went with it a fair bit, I still remember plenty of nights struggling to fall asleep because I simply wasn't tired yet. Not fun. So the first thing I'd look at is whether her bedtime is right for her, or whether she legitimately isn't tired yet (or, conversely, is getting wound up because she's overtired).

The other thing we do if DD1 says she isn't tired is let her have books or play quietly with a teddy in her bed. It takes the argument out of it, and after 10-20 minutes, she virtually always turns out her bedside light and goes quietly to sleep.

My 5 year old goes to bed around 8.30, a couple of stories, then I say goodnight and leave him to it, he falls asleep pretty fast. To be fair though, he is the youngest of 4, so our routine is pretty well established. My 7 year old has exactly the same routine (they share a room).

My 10 and 12 year olds theoretically also go to bed at 8.30 (they get into pjs, brush teeth etc with the little ones) but can read in bed until sleepy, or if they want, sit up another hour or so to read in the living room/watch TV/finish homework or chat with us.

When my 5yo is with me, bedtime is 7:30 and he's generally asleep by 8.

When he's at his dad's, his average bedtime according to his watch (with sleep tracker) is 10:30...!
I have to pick my battles with my ex. Just feel so bad for my son.