How do you put two different children to bed by yourself?

[Lelophants]

One is a baby (under 6 months so needs lots of naps and a decent bedtime) the other is around four and a half and very full on. I’ve ended up doing bedtime a lot by myself as DH has to work late. How do you do it?

The baby is still in my room and my older one has a room of his own. He’s very noisy and it’s really hard to keep him still and let me put the baby to bed first. I feel bad for the baby but also my older child. What often happens is I end up with them both in his room but it’s all quite haphazard and the baby gets upset.

Baby gets fired in cot awake, 4 yr old gets your time. If baby cries a bit, leave crying for 5 mins or so to get a bit of bedtime done, if hysterical hold baby while doing story etc for 4 yr old. Be strict everytime with 4 yr old dragging things out.

Our age gap was smaller but I used to put eldest to bed first with baby in a sling on my front getting warm and snuggly, then put baby to bed second.

At that age, I fed the baby whilst doing stories for the big one (with her cuddled into my side), tucked in and kissed big one goodnight, then went and settled baby.

bath together. Ready for bed together. Bedtime stories together (usually while I bf baby to keep him quiet) give big a big kiss and tell him I’ll just be in the next room and put on audiobook/lullaby on Alexa. Leave but remain on the landing/sitting with little on my bed,

similar age gap- they’re 8 and 4 now and much easier!!

Put the big one to bed first.

similar age gap with my 2. Older one and really craved alone time as DH used to go away with work. I can’t be doing with chaos so I did bath together and then older one would sit and watch tv while I put baby to bed. Bedtime was pushed a little late for older one but he copes well with tiredness. I also did a reward chart for those days dh was away, which including behaving around bedtime.

I staggered them - baby had a cot in the older one's room, even though he didn't move in there permanently until 18 months or so.

Either I'd do all the story etc for the 4yo while feeding the baby at the same time or giving them toys in the cot to play with, then I'd either put them down if asleep or carry them out awake when I said goodnight to 4yo.

Or if baby is likely to fall asleep quickly and older one is happy to, I'd leave them watching TV or something while I put the baby down and then I'd be able to fully focus on the older one.

I always did bedtime with big ones while cuddling and feeding baby. I did realise this had somewhat backfired when the baby started talking and would cuddle and feed during stories and try to kiss siblings while saying "night night" and was still merrily coming downstairs with me afterwards rather than actually going to bed.

Still. We got there eventually.

Get them bathed and ready for bed. Put the older one on iPad while you get the baby down. Then do stories with older child.

I found it easier to put my older one to bed at that stage then the baby. Once the baby was easier and the older one could be relied on to let me put the baby to bed without interrupting then we swapped.

This is what I did. Older one was 2 and pretty hard work at bedtime (needed cuddling to sleep still) so I couldn’t really handle having baby around as well during her bedtime. Baby fed to sleep which wasn’t ideal in some other ways but at least was quick…!

Different approach depending on who is most tired and most likely to be quiet and nod off first.

Either in my room reading stories altogether until baby goes to sleep on boob and is transferred to side car cot then go into toddlers room or
In toddler room until toddler nods off with songs and stories whilst feeding baby then back into my room to work on baby going to sleep.

Do bedtime alone 5/7 nights a week so have learned to be flexible.

Snap.

put Baby in cot or bouncy chair with toys/chilled music whilst you do older child routine. Then leave older child with an audio book or relaxing music on whilst you sort baby.

Mine are now 10 and 6 and both still use soft soothing music to help go to sleep.

Eldest to bed first, then down in order of age until you are left with the baby. Mine are allowed to “read” quietly in bed till the last story is read to the youngest toddler. Lights out and the baby comes downstairs for the last feed. I have five though so it all took a while.

I did both of mine at the same time. Get them ready and into pjs together, stories / songs together one into bed with a kiss, then the other.

They are 18months and 3.5 now and they share a room, so much easier.
The 3.5 yr old is in a habit of getting out of bed since they have had their cot turned into a bed and the baby loses their mind every time the eldest leaves the room!

2.5yo twins here so different to a newborn/older child combo. Bedtimes alone were really hard when twins were small - more bearable now but usually always chaotic still. Could your older child wind down with a yoto player or something? Or even something like watch a bit of TV while you get baby to sleep (not ideal I know, but might allow you to do it in peace) then once baby's asleep, you can focus on your older one for some wind down time? No real practical advice for your situation I'm afraid!!

2.5 year old and 7 month old. I usually dress toddler for bed in her room and baby is in there too- sitting/lying beside us.
toddler is given her milk cup in her room and I go dress baby for bed in my room (her stuff is there as she sleeps in our room). I go back to toddler room she’s finished her milk and we do teeth and toilet- baby in toddler room. Then I read both a book in toddlers room. Toddler is tucked in and good night and baby is fed and put to bed in my room.

i think it works really well and doesn’t take more than 25 mins end to end. But my toddler is very easy at going to bed, it’s one book and good night. I think that’s the key set boundaries with the older one and stick to them.

Baby goes to bed first and eldest used to wait downstairs watching tv.

Might not sound great but it works.

Bathed the eldest whilst the baby sat in their baby bouncer just outside the bathroom door so they felt part of the action - baby had bath every few days or earlier in the day when I was on mat leave. Then milk and stories for both before setting up the oldest in bed with a side light and lots of books to look at. Then got the youngest to sleep and in bed before going to properly tuck the eldest in.

We give them a bath at the same time (either literally together) or baby in a bath bath on the floor next to the bathtub. Then I'd put 5 year old to bed with a cup of milk and a story and I'd sit in with her feeding baby until she was settled, sometimes do audiobook. Then I'd take baby to bed.