How do I parent alone with a baby?

[uneasyunsure]

Hi all. Name changed for this thread.

I’ve got a beautiful 4 month old baby and for the most part, a good relationship DP, who I live with.
However, there is one thing (and a few small things, which I know is normal) that DP keeps doing that’s really grating on me to the point I’ve started fantasising about leaving him and going it alone. What he’s doing is not abusive, but I find it disrespectful and have asked him not to more than once. I am PMSing right now so that may be contributing to this lol but I’ve noticed I’ve been thinking about moving out a fair bit since baby was born.

My question is, HOW? How do single women do it? We rent in London, so I’d have to move somewhere cheaper. That means living in a tiny, unfavourable flat around here OR moving out of London but then wouldn’t DP be able to stop me from moving considering he’s also an active parent? How do people afford it? How would I ever be able to work in my field again and pay extortionate childcare fees? Would I be able to take baby to visit my family (abroad) or could DP stop me? I guess I’m asking because I want to know if it would even be possible for me to leave. I feel somewhat trapped knowing that even if I wanted to I probably couldn’t make it work.😖

Tax free childcare and universal credits.

I was a single parent for 7 years, you can do it OP. You can take your child on holiday, but ex could take you to court to stop you moving elsewhere permanently. If the child lives with you FT, claim tax free childcare to help with the nursery bills as well as the funded hours, if you do 50/50 which seems popular with courts now then ex will have to pay for childcare when on "his" time. Money might be tight for a while, but its doable and its worth it if it makes you happier.

Single parent in London here. Left abusive partner whilst pregnant. Not the answer you want to hear but it is really hard. You will find a way because you have no choice. Don't think too far ahead. Your situation may change dramatically in the future. For now take it day by day. Don't be afraid to ask for help and enjoy your baby because they grow so fast. Solidarity, hope it all works out for you x

It might be your hormones making it worse. I hated DP after my first was born and I did read on here that it’s best not to take such major decisions in the year after birth unless abusive. Could you go for a month longish stay to your family abroad and then see how you feel when you get back? It would give you time to do some planning and research. You could take a few short breaks, just you and the baby in the UK. It would give you some space and you could look at potential places to live.
Im not saying don’t leave, just don’t rush into it.

I would try looking into relationship therapy first. Having a baby together is always going to put a strain on a relationship. Especially now in the cost of living crisis.

With so much pressure on you both with a new baby you are both going to be struggling at communicating and working together a bit. Therapy may help to unlock more positive feelings and to resolve current issues.

If not then you know for sure that you can end the relationship without the 'what-ifs'