2.5 year old won't sleep - How normal is this?

[letusdine]

She does not nap, unless she's in the car in the late afternoon (I avoid this).

She falls asleep about 7/7.30pm. Awake and ready to play for 11pm.

No amount of ignoring her works. She does dangerous things such as throwing herself again the walls with no awareness of how hard she's hitting her head. If she's ignored further (we're talking minutes, she will hit herself in the face).

It is extremely distressing. So I have to be with her.

She will then fall asleep around 2am. After hours of encouraging. And then awake for the day, bright eyed and bushy tailed, at around 5am

Does not seem tired one bit unless it's towards the evening time.

I am on my knees. GP had rejected my request for a sleep clinic referral. He says it's because she's too young, so it would be rejected

This was not the case with her brother, he had input from age 2ish too. Her brother has severe ASD, learning disabilities etc, with ADHD. He falls asleep around 10pm and gets up for the day, full of energy, and happy, at 4.30am. This is with melatonin. Before this, he didn't sleep. At all. Beyond maybe 2 hours - and he was NOT tired. Showed 0 signs. He woke up like he'd slept for 12 hours. Does the same now only thankfully, it's a bigger stretch of sleep. Those were very dark days.

I just wondered how common this is generally for age 2? It's been like it since January.

Just like her brother, she was an amazing newborn and baby/young toddler sleeper. Slept 14 hours, 12 at night and 2 in the day. No problems. And just like him, turned 2 and it all went to shit

God I bet you're on your knees

I had one that wasn't sleeping at 2.5 and they were hard work but this does sound a bit extreme.

Have you spoken to your HV? Ours referred us to the sleep clinic but that was a while ago.

How is she apart from the sleep? Is her speech & language on track?

Thank you

No, she isn't. I clicked on that link and did it for a child a bit younger than her

She scored 0 (No) for all of it sadly

Sorry about that @letusdine. I think it might be time for a call to the HV and say that you have one with ASD and you'd like DD checking too

I'd get them to book an appointment and fill in both of these:

30 month Ages & Stages &

30 month Social & Emotional Ages & Stages

I hope you get a referral, Melatonin has been life changing for our DD.

I think asking in the SEN boards might be more productive OP, as many here will give you advice based on experience of neurotypical children. You've mention3d that your child has delays in other areas, so it would be a good idea to get the ball rolling on trying to find out what the cause might be. You could call you HV for advice or take your DD to your GP, they could the refer you to the appropriate services.

Melatonin could help but it isn't a magic bullet. It doesn't work for some children and it can take years to be seen by a specialist that can prescribe it.

It can be so hard dealing with atypical behaviours when all around you are children developing in a reasonably linear fashion. I think accepting that your journey will be very different, while hard, can be transformative in helping your POV over all this. Your child doesn't sleep like most other kids, because she probably isn't like most other kids. You and DH may have to strategise a bit to deal with the nights and get you both a bit of rest. If your child is potentially disabled you could also access DLA for them, and then they would be entitled to some free hours of childcare - this could help you to catch up on a bit of sleep. I slept between 10am and 1pm today because my DS had me up at 4am.

It's a slog OP, it feels harder because it is harder. Respect and love to you for all the extra work you do.

I agree totally with norfolk. Asking in the SN section also means that your thread will be hidden unless someone actively goes looking in that section.

This hopefully will stop lots of helpful comments on what worked for their DC who are NT.

Also agree that getting Melatonin or even a referral can take such a long time

Thank you

So HV agreed to a referral when she was just shy of 2. It was accepted, but that was just over 6 months ago.

The waiting list to see a paediatric consultant about ASD, etc etc, is a long one. Some people locally saying over 2 years!

My own DS was diagnosed with ASD long before his 3rd birthday, he was about DD age and presents the same, although she's much more social! Other than that, they are like the same toddler twice

We have since moved areas so whereas DS was since almost instantly, it could be years for DD

She is also on the waiting list for SALT (they made me do an online video course first. It helped 0. I know a lot as I already have a profoundly disabled child)

Just feeling very sad and bleak that this is another case of that I convinced myself things would be different for her

I would say none of this sounds ‘normal’ (as in common) for 2.5. Given the strong family history of neurodiversity and further posts about delayed speech, I would 100% be pushing for more help. Have you tried the HV route?

Forgot to add also, mine were done at 3 months, all fine. It was done by a pharmacist, as in her country, that's who does them

But then again my mum did put me under her at home sun bed from about 12 months 💀 she told me for years it was very normal in the 90s

Wrong thread

Now I'm intrigued