AIBU

[nicole1233]

My son's best friend in nursery has just switched his nursery to another cause he was scratched by some kid and his mum thinks that he isn't safe there anymore.with only 2 months of nursery left and then they go on to two different schools I think his mum is being too dramatic. I have said to her I'd like the kids to not meet outside of nursery either cause my ds would then ask why doesn't he see him in nursery but can see him otherwise and if I said to him that cause he goes to another nursery he would be like he wants to go to the same nursery as his bf.
It breaks my heart as they have been really good friends but it's been say only 3-4 months that have gotten really close and we have met outside nusery on many play dates.

I am sad that his mum took this step and also we were getting close as friends as well.

Am I over reacting or should we continue the friendship. I don't know

I'm not too clear on what you're asking here?

Your kids BF has moved nursery as was scratched...but you refuse to let them see each other outside of nursery, so you think the mum was out of order for removing her child as it means they can't now play together?

If so then yes, you are very unreasonable to feel this way.

I would also say that at this age, friendships move on very quickly and they will soon make tonnes of new friends at school in September

YABU.

YABU

You think she over reacted by removing her son from nursery, but you refuse to see this kid now in case your son asks why he isn't in nursery anymore?

You think she is being overdramatic?

Sure odd original decison but your decision seems weirder, why complicate it?

Yesss!!!! AIBU?

@nicole1233 yes. Very

Yes.

Yes

Yes, your reason for not seeing the kid is daft, and calling her over dramatic when you've essentially said "well fine, if he can't see you in nursery, he won't see you at all" is absurd.

So they are going to different primary schools and have only been friends for 3 months?

You are definitely over reacting.

I very much doubt your DS would query anything. If he asked, you just tell him that Jimmy doesn't go to his nursery anymore and isn't it lovely to see him now.
How were you going to explain primary school - or was that the other mum's fault for choosing a school that worked best for her DS?

100% yes

YABU. "Sorry DS, I disagree with a parenting decision your best friend's parents have made so you can't see them anymore".

You're being ridiculous. Would you have stopped play dates when they went to different schools or would that have been OK?

If the only reason she moved her child was because he was scratched by another then I think she's massively overreacted, especially as he'll be moving to somewhere else again in a few months.

However I don't understand why your son can't see him. They aren't going to the same school, so you were always going to have this issue of them both being at different places and your son needing to understand that - were you always going to stop them seeing each other once school started?

My daughter is turning 4 and her bf can change mid conversation
She has also had quiet a few children leave her nursery early over the last 6 months as they move to school based preschool and has adjusted just fine.

In January one of the little people she played with in her toddler group stopped coming as her mum finished her mat leave with number 2. We have had play dates at the weekends. She asks why she's not there but readily accepts her mummy is at work. Kids really do just go with the flow

I know I mean my reaction could be out of spite as feel so annoying with her action, my son literally plays with no one else in his nursery they pretty much had only each other and I am scared he will question his bf when he sees him and ask why do you not come to nursery and then refuse to go to his nursery. I did name a few other boys and said you could play with them and he was like x plays with y and says no to me. But my bf will play with me and I was like no he has gone away on holidays so you won't be seeing him and I want to keep it at that

Could be out of spite? No it's definitely out of spite.

Your stopping him seeing his friend because he's moved nursery.... really bizarre bay shit crazy behaviour on your part.

Are you ok? Genuinely
Because nothing about your thoughts processes and decision making is rational.

They're toddlers.
They can play together when it's convenient and you can say no to anything your toddler wants that you don't think is in their best interests.

It is just so unimportant that it's bordering on ludicrous and I can't help wondering if you're focusing on it because there's something else going on in your life that is the actual problem.

YABU.
You really need to get a grip on yourself otherwise your child is going to have difficulties all the way through school.
The other boy has moved nursery. If your child asks why he isn't at nursery you can just say that. You should continue the playdates without all this drama and overthinking.
"Yes, George has moved to another nursery but you can still meet up with him to play"
They are adaptable at that age. They accept what you say and that's the end of it. And also their friendships are in a constant state of flux.

How on earth did you think you were going to manage them going to different schools if this is causing so much drama?

Moving nursery was an overreaction but her choice snd not your business.

Your child will be fine - no need to 'break your heart'. Child Friendships really don't form for another year or two. They will happily play alongside pretty much anyone at that age. There is no reason to keep them separate and involve them in adult drama.

As for your friendship with the mum - if you are friends then it would be very silly to end it over this.

All in YABU and silly.

I can't understand your thought processes over this, OP.

You've told your son that his friend's on holiday?

How will you sustain this lie?

One of you has massively over reacted.

Clue : Its not the other Mum

You're being ridiculous. A child your sons age will happily accept the explanation his friend goes to a nursery. You're cutting off your nose to spite your face

So the other mum made a choice to move her son somewhere where she feels he will be safer and now you've decided that your son can't see the child at all? Not only that but somewhat bizarrely you lied to your child and made out this other child is on holiday? You're being massively unreasonable. Just because your DS doesn't have other friends doesn't mean this child had a responsibility to stay at the nursery. Catch a grip of yourself. And stop telling your son lies because you can't be bothered explaining a situation to him properly 🙄