Going crazy over my toddlers weight

[scarlet09]

Please can someone help me! My 18 month old is losing weight and is becoming skinner and skinner
DD is healthy and well otherwise but her food intake is SO LOW.
i just feel so guilty that it reflects my parenting and it must be me doing sometbinf wrong - perhaps i’m not offering her nice food or the right snacks
i’ve lost interest in everything and don’t feel happy, just constantly feel anxious
everyday making so many different things for her to jusr reject them

What do you mean by slow? It takes my two about an hour to eat their portion of a meal when doing BLW.

Don't make lots of different things. Is there a list of things that she currently will eat reliably? If so, then give her those things, every meal time, plus one extra thing that you think she might eat. Don't make any fuss about eating at all. Don't comment on what she's eating or not eating. Sit with her and eat your food too, and just clear away after a reasonable amount of time.

If she'll take a multivitamin like the gummy sweet types then give that every day.

The thing is to try to take the stress and anxiety away from mealtimes and not to have any expectations. It is extremely hard to do that when they are losing weight and you are worried about it, I know. The priority if she's actually losing weight is to get her eating more of what she will eat, and worry about variety later.

It's also worth checking with your GP in case there's another underlying issue that's causing a lack of appetite.

Is your DD actually losing weight? What weight was she and what weight is she now?

Is she losing weight or getting taller? Has a HV seen her

Where is she on the charts? Has she fallen a percentile?

What is her actual weight op and what was it 6 months ago? What are her percentiles?

Does she drink much milk? Or will she?

I agree with pp, focus on what you know she'll eat, let her eat as much as she will. Full fat milk, full fat cream in stuff, lots of high calorie food etc.

OP said 'so low'

@scarlet09 I can totally understand you feeling low and anxious.

You say you're making so many different things for her to jusr reject them.

If she rejects a food, do you offer an alternative? If so, I'd stop as of now. Unless she had a medical condition she will eat if she's hungry. Very few toddlers will eat a food if they know that their favourite food will magically appear if they don't eat the first food offered.

After 12 months their growth will slow down and they don't actually need as much as you'd think.

Is she actually losing weight like you said?

If so, she needs seeing by her GP on Monday. Take your Red Book and insist they weigh and measure her and record it in the Red Book.

If she's not losing weight but is slim, what weight centile is she on and has she gone down in weight centiles? What's her height centile too?

What milk is she having and how much? Is she having milk at night?

And you're probably not doing anything wrong. We all need to try different approaches to a problem from time to time. It can take a few tries too, especially if it's your first. I always joke with DC1 that they're the one we experimented on

If she is losing weight you should get her weighed and monitored. Children shouldn’t really lose weight as they are growing.

it could be just a fussy stage but you need to rule out an underlying thing.

Is she losing weight or just growing out of the baby podge stage? Is she energetic and happy?

Once babies get to around twelve months, their growth slows down. You can have a baby who previously ate everything in sight to one who appears to live on fresh air.

What can help you is to think about the size of her stomach. A cracker with cheese is a mouthful for an adult, but to a little one it can be the equivalent of a large piece of cheese on toast. It's also best to look at what she eats in a week rather than day to day.

It's also best to look at what she eats in a week rather than day to day.

That's really good advice. We had to do this with DD as she seemed to live on fresh air some days but would eat more on others.

Looking at what they've eaten over a week rather than a day or an individual meal should help to take the pressure off you OP.

It's your job to make sure you offer at least 3 meals a day and sufficient drinks but it's really up to her if she chooses to eat them or not.

If she refuses a meal I'd clear away and leave it until the next meal. You could always put a little something in her plate that you know she'll usually eat so she's had something at the meal.

Thank you all for your replies. I’ve been an avid silent mumsnetter but it feels nice to be on the receiving end of advice.
She was born between 50th -75th centile, and then stayed around the 50th centile from 10 months.
She has become fussy since around 14 months but has been gaining weight). However this week, she just refuses to eat ANYTHING. so much so that her little tummy disappeared which is so heart breaking and her clothes have become loose.

What do you guys do with your DC when they are eating, do they have screen time?

I haven’t exposed her to screen time much, and we normally sit with her but she is bored in the next 5/6 minutes. Tried giving her screen time with food but tbh it hasn’t helped much.

I read on mumsnet someone said that zinc supplements help so now have ordered them too.

Btw, I really appreciate all of you taking the time to reply - I know how busy mum life is!

If its only been the last week that she's not been eating and losing weight could she be getting teeth through and it's hurting her to eat? Perhaps try checking her mouth or trying pain killers. Give her high calorie drinks if she will have them made with full cream milk, hot chocolate, milkshakes, fruit juice, anything that gets calories in rather than worrying about healthy eating for a while. If she doesn't improve take to GP💐

You need to reel in the panic. She's been off food for a week. It could be teething, she could be a little run down, she could be between growth spurts.

Kids often go through feast or famine phases. She'll be fine. Toddlers also stretch up the way and lose their bellies and various points. That's why one week their size in clothes will fit, then the next be falling off them. They grow up, slim down, then get bellies again, then repeat cycle.

Don't introduce screen time, there is absolutely no reason to do this. She's not bored she's just eating what she needs to eat. She knows her own stomach better than you do.

Eat meals together, model good eating habits (no screens!), provide a variety of food, don't pressure her, let her decide what she wants to eat from what's on offer and what she wants to leave. Don't serve her big portions. Serve smaller than you think she should eat. Then serve even smaller than that. You'd be surprised how little they need and a big plate may be overwhelming for her. If she wants more you can serve more.

Totally agree with not introducing screen time and just eating with her.

How are things this week? Has she taken more of an interest in food?

Don't give her screen time. Keep sitting with her. Don't make a big fuss just offer her food and see how it goes. If only been a week probably teething or a bug making her feel a bit off. Also she may of grown in height which often makes them go a bit skinny.

I think maybe i’ve been subconsciously making meal times stressful or negative, so I’ve tried to change my approach and just let her do her. if she doesn’t show interest in food then i just leave it, instead of before where i’d be offering her replacements. i’ve been trying to give her a break and then offer something later. it’s better, i think the stress is less and hopefully meal times won’t be a negative experience.
She’s not eating huge amounts but I think hopefully with time it will improve

Yeah i’ve not given her screen time, she doesn’t really have much screen time at all tbh. i know a lot of parents say it helps with meal times but don’t want that habit ideally.
trying to follow this advice, thank you.
fingers crossed!!!

I would make meals she like with one extra thing to try.

No fuss she eats what she wants.

Sit at table to eat and eat with her (ideally same meal)

Dont do reward /consequence

If she leaves table early leave plate out she may go back

Offer snacks in between meals

If you want to give a pudding but avoid pudding being classed as a treat.

My daughter went through phases like this, its normal. I definitely wouldn't do screen time with eating. Eating with them is best as it shows them what they need to do. I used to make my daughter a lunchbox and put in fruit, small wraps, crackers etc...she would love the novelty of the lunchbox and would just snack from it when she wants. Maybe take her shopping and get her to pick one out for herself.

You say you sit with her, but do you all eat together? If not then try that, my dd eats so much better when we all eat together as a family, she sees us eating the food so eats it too.

Yeah, we sit with her and eat the same meals with her .