21month old- stopping breastfeeding

[Lostmystyle]

I am looking for some advice on stopping breastfeeding when toddler isn't showing any signs of naturally weaning. Has anyone has managed it gently or in a way that wasnt too upsetting for you both?

My 21month old gets through a day at nursery without a feed but when we are together is still.keen to often feed in the day and also feeds at bedtime.

The toughest is over night though as they wake sometimes 3/4 times a night- only want me, and only want me to settle them.back to sleep with a feed. Nights often end up with him in my bed feeding off and on for hours.

I feel so guilty about stopping if he isnt ready but am shattered. I have other kids and work. I would love to be able to settle him another way or someone else to be able to settle him over night. Should point out too he eats well and drinks lots of whole milk.

All attempts to not feed or offer a cup result in hysterical screaming....

Any ideas??

It’s been major hit and miss but I’ve found if I’m not wearing something with a low neck- hoodie or similar I’ve had more success in avoiding a feed where there may have been one at other times.

w we’re also beginning to manage more bedtimes feed free which is making a difference - went 6 nights in a row recently!

it’s not every night but finding small progress is leading to overall progress.

solidarity though. It’s tough!

You may find it naturally reduces just on the other side of 2y. That's not long away. It's something that developmentally takes place that results in a drift away from breastfeeding.

You could distract in day time first, lots of other things/games/being outside, give ice pops instead (hot weather!) as sometimes toddlers feed more to quench their first! Then you can tackle night time when you've sussed the day time. Do you bed share? You could let toddler feed, stop the feed and flip him round so you spoon him so he gets the comfort another way?

'Thebreastfeedingmentor' on Instagram specialises in toddler gentle weaning.

My girl is 2 and we’ve dropped it down to just a feed before bed, but she will happily go to bed without it if I’m not home, as she doesn’t feed to sleep.

The first feed I dropped was the morning feed, I did it by DH being the one that went to her first in the morning, then keeping her busy. If she asked, I would she can have milk before bed. No tears, just kept her busy.

As he feeds continuously in the night aswell, it may be easier to go cold turkey, I think there is a few books that discuss it, a friend had good success by just saying “its all gone” and offering something else.

Hi op. I just weaned my 2.5 year old who was a milk fiend. I will link my thread here once I find it. But basically I went cold turkey after a particularly bad night of numerous feeds and I was absolutely done in.
Ds is now all about daddy bit he adapted to the situation SO WELL....a lot better that what I had envisioned in my head.
I went cold turkey.

Found it! This seems like an age ago but it was so recent! I feel like a brand new person!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/weaning/5034648-a-thread-for-support-to-stop-breastfeeding

Thank you all. I read your posts during middle of the night feeds and will take a look at all the links/suggestions.

Really hard as he is so cheery in the day, adores his dad but night times are another story....I am shattered though and the feeding is turning into bitting/pinching so really need to stop somehow thats not too upsetting for us both

I would go and stay in a cheap bed and breakfast for a week. Lots of facetime. I exclusively breastfed both children till 13 months. At some point you want your life back

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

If it's just the nights that are the issue then you could try just night weaning. I used one of the Tommee Tippee sleep training clocks (the app connected version of the Groclock) and told my girl that when the clock was green it meant that milk was all done for now, and then when the clock turned orange it meant okay milk. I started by setting the clock to turn orange just two hours after she went to sleep, and if she woke up earlier I pointed out that the clock was still green and reiterated the rules. I would cuddle her, sing to her etc but no milk while the clock was green. She was not happy to begin with, but she quickly caught on and stopped asking for milk until the clock changed. I then gradually lengthened the time until the clock turned orange over the course of a few months until we reached 4:45am. That seems to be as late as I can get it, as her sleep pressure at that time is too low for her to fall back asleep unless I lift her into my bed and nurse her. But this strategy got us from several wake ups each night to nurse, to her sleeping right through from bedtime until the clock turns orange at 4:45 (she wakes up at that exact time every morning, her body clock is astonishingly accurate) and then coming into bed with me to nurse and go back to sleep. Massive improvement.

If you like reading together a book could help. We really like The Story of Jessie's Milkies - it's really gentle and lovely and helps start the conversation about possible endings Jessie's Milkies