I hate that I'm even writing this & I'm sorry it's long, I just need to get my thoughts out! I'm at the end of my tether and I genuinely don't know what to do.
My 7 year old is so awfully behaved at home. He can't cope with the word "no" and throws massive tantrums when he's not getting his own way. It can be over the smallest things - snacks, homework, teeth brushing, meals, not buying him things! It's pretty much every day at this point. It used to be bad but it's getting worse..we banned him from the playstation a few months ago (he was only allowed it for a game or two a day, but it escalated tantrums if he didn't win a game), his behaviour improved for a little while but is back to daily fights again. He kicks, screams, spits, pulls hair, refuses to go to his room, rips/breaks things around the house, says really nasty things. The thing that gets me the most is, he smiles when he's doing it because he seems to enjoy riling us up. We've tried consequences, being calm, ignoring it, giving him long calm talks about his behaviour, shouting (can't help it sometimes), teaching him techniques to calm down etc and nothing works! His school say he is an angel so I just don't understand? His dad has him every other weekend and claims his behaviour is fine there although from what I hear, he's sat on Fortnite for the majority of his time there. Other family members have witnessed his outbursts etc and it's just seen as "one of them things" and joked about, "what mood is X in today then?" Etc..but they get to have him for tea and send him home, nobody understands how draining it is dealing with it every day. Today I've got home from work at 4, and by 4:15 I'm having my hair pulled and my partner was spat at - all because I said he could have 1/4 of an Easter egg instead of half.
My 10 year old daughter is an absolute delight and I feel bad that he takes so much of my time and effort, and often I'm left feeling too exhausted from dealing with her brother, that I don't give her as much love which breaks my heart.
Could this be something more like autism/ADHD or would he be the same at school if this was the case? He gets very fixated on certain things - used to be frozen/Moana (he'd dress as them constantly from age 1-4), then it was paw patrol, number blocks, Lego, star wars. Theres always "something" and for that period of time, that's all he will play with. He doesn't like change to plans or routine, but it's not as severe as I thought it would be if it was autism?! I don't know, I'm exhausted!