Save the date but no actual invitation - kid’s birthday party

[Diabla]

Hi everyone,

what would you do in this situation:

Two months ago we received a save the date for one of my child’s classmate’s birthday party. Unfortunately, we haven’t received any details re the venue and the party is tomorrow morning.

I assume most of his classmates will be attending and I don’t want him to miss out, but at the same time, I’m hesitant to message and ask as I’m worried they decided they no longer want him to attend.

I would appreciate any advice on how to handle the situation.

Thank you

Does the save the date letter give a phone number? I'd text and ask, or ask other parents you know if anyone else has received an invite.

Why would you send out "save the date" memos for a child's birthday? Just send out the invites early!

I would say
HI Jane
You asked William to save the date for Harry's party tomorrow...haven't got the details.
Best wishes
Victoria

Just message
Hi X, just checking party is still on for tomorrow. I've noted save the date and realised I've not actually got any party details. X

Thank you for the quick responses (h)

Text the mum if you have her number. Main invitation likely lost in your child’s book bag or school drawer, handed to the wrong person, or otherwise lost (all of which have happened to DS’s invitations).

I agree that save the date cards sent out months in advance for a child’s birthday is a bit self-important. Hopefully the mum just had a PFB moment and is cringing, rather than having the main invitation list, a separate list of evening guests, and a B list who she sent save the dates to but no invitations, who she might invite if other people drop out.

List B … is this something people really do?

I don’t think save the date invites are that strange. We had quite a few when people are not quite sure what they will do, like going to the cinema or some other flexible birthday. That’s from friends DC know very well.

I would probably have texted the parents a few days before the party if I hadn’t heard any specifics, but I’m a planner and hate uncertainty. 😁

Not as such, but if we have limited capacity I would send out some extra invites if some people had declined until I fill up the venue. Usually only for an expensive party like trampoline centre where it’s ££ per kid and I have to keep the numbers low.

By save the date, what do you mean? Do you mean an actual save the date, like an invitation that said, save the date or a text message that said, 'Jimmy's party is on xx date at xx time. Would be lovely if you could save the date if you're free?'. Or do you mean, someone just mentioned in verbally in passing?

I think the first two are as good as an invite, especially if you have all the details. The third one is more iffy. I would just check with the parent to confirm the party is still on. It's possible it's not (not enough people could do that date and they are trying to figure out an alternative still). Or it's possible the invite got lost.

My dc's last birthday, one of his invitations ended up being shoved in the drawer of a child with the same name but in a different class. So one of his friends never got an invite. I had no rsvp from the parent, but then I got an rsvp from some random who I didn't even know 😂who was probably wondering why my child was inviting her child (who barely knew him!) to his party. It all clicked and I could get a replacement invite to the right Johnny this time.