Hi,
I have DS1 3y1m and DS2 4m.
I have some worries about DS1 that I don't know if he just has an intense personality or could be signs of autism/ADHD.
For context DH and I would most likely be diagnosed as autistic but we have never been assessed.
He is starting school nursery in September and I worry a bit about how he'll manage there. If there would be enough to warrant starting the assessment process,should I see what nursery says, or ask now?
What concerns me is
*very high energy even from being in the womb ha ha, but doesn't always respect physical boundaries despite constantly being told e.g climbing over and jumping on you. Thankfully not as full on with other children but can sometimes grab,try to hug them etc in a clumsy way of trying to engage not a hostile way if that makes any sense.
*crawled at 12 months didn't walk until nearly 18 months. Understanding of speech has always been good other than perhaps finding something without pointing to it e.g. it's under the chair, behind the door etc. Was a little behind on talking but I know boys can be,and now is within normal limits with some small pronunciation issues.
*very upset at ending of activities/change of activities despite prior warning of this.
*did start to engage with singing/storytimes at playgroups briefly, but now doesn't again, will sometimes just carry on doing his own thing but may also cry and whine (which is obviously disruptive, can leave informal playgroups/stay and plays, but what if he starts this at nursery?)
*bossy to other children and adults not just when they are engaging with him but even if they are just close by. (E.g. so and so is NOT doing that/coming over here etc. Doesn't just ignore other adults/children, he doesn't seem to want them around. Prefers to do own thing. Can sometimes push others, grab and snatch.
*really intense emotions- overexcited and giddy to very angry and sad. And tantrums, (or are they meltdowns) relating to ending/changing/having to take turns on toys with others taking longer to calm down from. Compared to when I say no we can't get sweet/toy etc today which he seems to moan but then accept.
*petrified/preoccupied with hand dryers, hoovers, alarms (car, house, smoke etc).
*upset by people laughing (loudly or quietly)
*just seems behind/immature socially and quite anxious and angry/emotional if that makes sense?
Reading back I know a lot seems like normal toddler behaviour but my gut instinct tells me something is a bit off compared to other children. I don't want him to struggle or have issues (or cause them ha ha) at nursery.
He could just be a late bloomer socially and nursery could well be the making of him. He hasn't been to nursery prior due to not needing it for childcare.
I have always taken him to playgroups and have a couple of mornings a week meeting my sister who is a childminder ,where he can be around other children though.
Arrggh I don't know, please help lol.
Sorry for the essay, thanks for reading 😆