What to do when baby goes to bed early? Safe sleep

[Lou98x]

This may sound like a silly question so please be gentle!

My 4 month old has been sleeping through the night for about a month now, and we’re just starting to try and bring bedtime forward a bit, as he is beginning to fight his evening nap and being general very cranky after about 7/8pm. Previously he would go to sleep (in his cot in our room) at 9-9:30, which was fine because I would stay with him until he fell asleep, then go for a quick shower and be in bed myself by 10ish, not leaving him alone for long.

Now we are hoping to bring bedtime forward a bit to avoid that evening crankiness, my question is; how do we follow safe sleep guidelines? Am I expected to go to bed myself at 7/8pm? He needs to be in the dark and in his bed in order to sleep well, so there’s no chance we can keep him downstairs with us until we go to bed. But I’m also aware that the guidance says baby should sleep in the same room as you for at least 6 months.

Any advice would be great! Would love to hear how others have navigated this! ❤️

I remember being in the exact same dilemma! It really depends on what you’re comfortable with, I bought a good baby monitor and would just keep a close eye on my little one to be honest.. it did take a few weeks of zooming in and checking they were still breathing before I could settle 😂

If you have a baby monitor, I honestly don't think it would matter if you went downstairs for a couple of hours and come up later.

I would put my son in the pram's carrycot, on the floor in the hall. Door was open, so he was in a darker part but still technically "in" the same room.

He usually woke for a feed at around 10, after which he was transferred to the cot. If he didn't, I just brought the carrycot up to our bedroom.

Yes, to follow safe sleep guidelines you would need to go to bed then too. With my eldest, I did that. With my youngest I kept him downstairs with me, as doing to bed at 7pm and sitting in a dark room for hours in the evening made me very depressed. I wasn't prepared to risk the safety of either of my babies for my enjoyment, but tbh going to bed at 7 was miserable so what we did with DS2 worked much better. Babies are much much much more adaptable than we give them credit for as first time parents (in my experience, but I've seen this exact thought process play out with friends too). Some people are happy to just use a baby monitor, I wasn't and am not.

Baby monitors let you know when a baby cries. An adult in the room reduces the risk of a baby stopping breathing ( sids).

If you want to follow that guideline, you’d need to go up at 7 with baby.

I felt comfortable enough to have baby in own room by 3 months and to use a baby monitor. I’ll do the same this time too.

By 4 months I just used a baby monitor and went downstairs to have some time separate from the baby.

Could you read or watch some TV or laptop with headphones on in your bedroom, or would the light disturb baby?

We’ve just started putting 5 month old DS up to bed at 7.30pm then going downstairs instead of keeping him downstairs with us as he was getting disturbed by the lights and the tv. I didn’t feel comfortable before now so persevered for a while.

Moses basket in the living room while you relax, then do a final feed of the evening and carry them up to your room.

I'm currently doing the final feed bit on the sofa!

Once they outgrow the moses at 4-6m, the risk of sids in healthy babies is much reduced so you can settle them upstairs with the monitor on