parenting time

[Andy3]

To me this is quite simple my ex-wife we divorced several years ago, who works abroad occasionally, I am getting a little wound up that when she goes away she leaves our son with her boyfriend he is a decent enough person but I resent this as I want time with my son. am I being unreasonable? even my son asks why he can't stay with me.

Have you spoken to her about it? Maybe she didn't want to get your back up by asking you to have him when it's technically her time.

Do they live together?

How often do you send your DS normally and how old are they?

They live together he moved in very soon after our seperation, I have mentioned this previously, I am trying not to be divisive or argumentative, my lad is just turning 15 and it is a joy to be with him as he is now forming as a young adult, our time together is only every Wednesday and alternating weekends. however my ex and myself do try to be flexible. I do resent however the lack of discussion when she leaves the country as I am unaware she is out of the country, as to being his legal guardian he should stay with me. there is no difficulty with school or clubs we both live in commuting distance. I just have this feeling she is trying to hedge me out of our sons life as much as possible and supplanting me with her boyfriend to get him accepted as a surrogate father.

I have no wish in any form or in any way to reconcile with my ex or to take cheap swipes at the ex either, for the majority of the time I have stayed my hand to ensure a united front to the boys parenting, I have given her everything she asked for in the divorce to be honest, just to make her go away. When we separated as usual the man had to find new accommodation so I conceded my son should live with her in the ex-family home, and I started living in rented diggs for several years, I now have a new house with room for my son to live with me if he chose. In my mind there is no reason he should live with her boyfriend whilst she is out of the country, the lad has also asked why.

Your son is old enough to choose where he spends his time I think. If he wants to come to yours then he should do that whether his mum is in the country or not.

Agreed

Have to agree with spring. Let your DS know you're happy to see him whenever he wants to.