Is this enough to see you're child

[Babygirlmum]

Is seeing you're child every 17 days for 3 days enough? is this co parenting, this is what we have agreed to in court he works 6 days on and 4 off and he wants to see her every other one of his few days off, so this means not every week so it turns out every 2 and a half weeks, around every 17 days for a few days, it is long distance, is this enough?

Does he live far?

Will this mean you get a decent amount in child maintenance?

Wish my ex would see our children that often. It's all relative 🤷‍♀️

@GeckoFeet he lives an hour and 45 minutes away so not exactly close.

Nobody will be able to give you a real answer as there are so many variables depending on situation and circumstances. For some people this wouldn’t be enough and for others it would be. There’s no right/wrong

@goldenretrievermum5 yeah I suppose that's the thing.

Depends on each of your needs and what best for your children. I think the main things, he is seeing his children.. The father of my 3 rather see his new girlfriend abroad then our children.

@SteakChips I mean it doesn't cater me and my work but I suppose he's seeing her

It sounds to me if he saw DC more he would have to change his job. This could mean he could have less money which means less child support for you both.

You can't force a parent to have contact/a relationship with their child.

Is he going to at least have DC for at least some of his annual leave?

Is it enough for what?
It's enough for a relationship to develop but it will be more uncle/neice than parent/child but that can work out well. The child enjoys visiting but also has a static base.
The resident parent does the lion share of the work but with set days 'off'. The child has one set of 'home' rules which can work well.

How will this work when the child is at school, or has clubs? Will the parent book a Travelodge so the child can be taken to school or take part in extra curriculars or will they be restricted?

How old is she? Is she a baby as your name suggests? In which case when we went to court little and often was recommended up until 2years every other day and then that built up t two full days 9am-6pm twice a week until school. With overnights not starting until she was 4 years old. But if it's what you've agreed to that's that, you can't force him to see her.

@Babygirlmum Sadly, The courts must have decided that was best situation. I understand, I have to work full time, Rely on family and benefit to cover what my ex should be doing. Hopefully you can make it work.

It’s not ideal but if that’s what work and living arrangements dictate then so be it. It’s not that terrible.

It doesn't really matter what anyone thinks, he took you to court and that's what he wanted and he got it there is no way for the RP to take a NRP to court to make them have the child more so it doesn't work that way.

Given that he lives some distance away and works shifts this is probably the best solution to allow him to spend time with his child. It's not enough really for a parent child relationship but its making the best of a difficult situation. If it doesn't work for you (ie if it makes it impossible for you to work) then you need to go back to the drawing board and work out something else.

@Singleandproud I honestly didn't think like that but you're right, is this going to work long term absolutely not as she will be at school etc.

Of course it's not enough and some of these comments are ridiculous. But, it's pretty common for loads.of men. Make sure you get enough maintenance.

@hazelnutlatte yes you're right, that's all the case basically it's not ideal but the best thing out of a difficult situation.

Lots might change between now and then though. He may change his job/ move closer or all sorts take it one step at a time.

I broke up with DDs dad when I was pregnant, I've outlined some of her early years contact above, we also did Birthdays and Christmas (christmas eve 12 noon-12 noon boxing day) alternated and mother /fathers day and parents birthday with relevant parent until DD turned.12 and she manages it herself now.

DD is a teen and has a good relationship with her dad, she enjoys visiting him and her toddler sister but she sees it much more like visiting an Uncle and cousin and if I'm honest it works great for me too. She's happy and feels she has a settled home instead of being shuttled around, she doesn't have to adjust to different house rules every few days. Her activities I've avoided on his days, she prefers to see him one day every week rather than EOW as she doesn't like sleeping over.

@Singleandproud yes that's true, not to mention just before the court date he told me he still loves me and still has feelings for me, but basically he has no time. I'm glad we have some consistency with him seeing her now, as before it was shocking.