Mad to consider 3rd child?

[SleeplessInSuburbs]

I know it is very personal but I’m intrigued to hear other peoples’ experiences. I have one DS 5 and DD 1. Have bigger age gap than I would have liked due to circumstances. However, it’s been lovely so far. DS adores the baby and I’ve loved adding to our family. Thought I would but did not feel ‘done’ during DD pregnancy, nor when she was newborn and the question of a third keeps lingering. I’m going back and forth.

pros-
-like the idea of a bigger family. Is this just a romantic notion??
-the chance to do it all again! I have my moments but I do love parenting as does husband
-an extra sibling for Ds and Dd
-have the space and finances, fortunately
-perhaps have siblings closer in age if I had a third

cons-
-I’m 34 going on 35. Would be 36 if had a third at least. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that at all but personally I was more knackered in pregnancy at 33 than at 29 and imagined I would be done with the baby phase of life by 35.
-would have a toddler and baby which have not experienced before. Is it seriously tough? And with older child in the mix.. activities etc and clubs, school run
-Would I be robbing my children of my time and attention or would they benefit from the extra sibling to balance this out
am SAHM and a third would delay getting back into a career
-had v mild prolapse after second birth. Fine now but would a third wreak more havoc

so appreciate your experiences if you have had three or stuck with 2- tell me your stories! 🥰

Same here, I always wanted 3 kids, I even remember having the conversation with my husband not long after we first met (lol somehow it didn't scare him off). So I'm really confused now why I feel so strongly like I really really don't want to be pregnant and not even sure if I want another baby after all. It's hard to know what feelings are 'real' vs an effect of all the hormones and anxiety.

Maybe it's partly because I am only 1 year into my job and just getting into the swing of things, so the idea of taking time out again so soon (not to mention what my manager will say) feels terrifying.

But yes, you're right that many people have large families and manage it, I have a few friends with 3 kids who love it. My husband keeps telling me it will be fine and we'll work it out but I wish I had his confidence !

I’m so sorry, it sounds like you’re really worried. Do you have a midwife yet? I wonder if speaking with a therapist or someone could help to split apart the ‘real’ worried as you say from the effects of hormones etc? It’s very hard to feel like you can’t trust your own feelings. I’m a complete worrier too and am overthinker so I definitely relate to what you are saying! I definitely don’t have an easy going attitude to this pregnancy. Hope you’re ok xx

I have three. All teenagers now. I love them and I love how close they are. But it’s expensive. So incredibly expensive. Worth it but expensive.

Hi all, appreciate this is an old thread but can I ask how those of you that got pregnant unexpectedly are getting on now the baby is here?

I am in exactly the same position - I always loved the idea of three , then accidentally fell pregnant recently (my two are 5 and 2) and I’m in an absolutely panicked tailspin thinking how we will manage, I even went as far as having a consultation with BPAS and getting the abortion pills, but so scared of regretting it if I go ahead.

my main worries are finances (we are comfortable but three involves steep changes to cars and holidays) and the impact on my career - I’m a solicitor and currently on track for partnership at my firm.

have no idea what to do and feel time is fast running out to make a decision. My lovely DH is fully supportive of whatever decision I make.

Hope everything is going well for all of you :) xx

My baby isn't here yet (28wks pregnant now) but I think if you always have loved the idea of 3 you would regret not going ahead with your pregnancy.
You sound like you have no financial worries, a partner who is on board.....do you not just think it's fear and panic of the unknown/taking a risk that is making you have doubts?
I think the career, car, holidays etc would be worth the trade off of another little person joining your family.

I have three and zero regrets. Out third just fitted in and I absolutely felt done after he was born.