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Need advice about dsd (10)

4 replies

pleaseletmesleep · 02/04/2008 21:05

Thought I would post this here aswell as in step parenting as I am not sure if this is just to do with her age or our situation.

Bit of background - Dsd is 10 and stays with us for Fri - Mon every other weekend and about half the holidays. Her mum and dad split when she was about 2, mum had a new partner before dp met me when she was around 3 1/2. Things have been mostly good between us all, for the sake of dsd, although there has been a bit of tension recently (don't want to go into too many details in case anyone recognises this as our relationship treads a delicate path at the best of times!) I think dsd's mum is maybe a little jealous of the relationship dp and I have and the recent arrival of our dd - however I could be completely wrong about this.

Anyway, dp and I are getting increasingly worried about dsd when she is here - she is just constantly bored. We don't know any children around here and we don't know the parents of any of her school friends to be able to ask them over - I'm guessing most parents of 10 year olds would not be happy to send their children to a strangers house! We have tried to get her to join clubs in the area to try and meet some children locally - including swimming, stage coach, Brownies/guides, the youth club and she says she doesn't want to go.

Can anyone suggest anything, we obviously want to keep having her here but it is awful to see her looking miserable, we do try to keep her entertained with activities and days out but it is difficult to come up with something new every weekend and half of the things we suggest are met with an indifferent shrug anyway. Is this just what 10 year old girls are like?! I do remember my brother and I whining about how bored we were as children but we can never be sure if this is just how she is just now or if we are doing something wrong and she is unhappy here.

Any advice would be gratefully received, thanks!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
sussies · 03/04/2008 00:34

she is a prepubescent girl, they are all like this. Why does it have to be something different every weekend. Can;t you swim every sat morning have a late lunch and go for a walk then have a movie night. You and her could do face packs anything really just to shake her day up. BTW dd would have to have a really good excuse at 10 to say no to a trip out, at that age she shouldn't have TO much choice.

Sugarmagnolia · 03/04/2008 13:02

From what you are saying do you live near enough to her school friends to be able to invite them over? If so I wouldn't worry about the fact that you don't know them. Get some phone numbers either from dsd or her mum and just phone up and introduce yourself - you're only inviting their children round to play not offering to take them abroad on holiday!

pleaseletmesleep · 04/04/2008 22:58

Thankyou ladies, just wasn't really sure what the whole etiquette of these things is! None of my friends have any children so I have no idea have had a few suggestions on the step parenting board that if she invites a group of her friends they might be more likely to be allowed to come so will give that a go, I suppose the worst that can happen is that they can say no and we will be no further behind.

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LadyBabo · 06/04/2008 00:19

We're in a very similar situation! Dsd (11) either VERY bored / forcing us to watch High School frigging Musical AGAIN...

Things will improve a bit when your dd is old enough to play / be more interesting to dsd. Our dd is 2, and does provide entertainment for our dsd (11) for a limited amount of time.

We bake cakes / cookies and dd plays with dough / pots and pans / utensils

We do craft stuff, especially sets e.g. paint your own / make your own blah blah, dd plays with crayons, paper etc

After many years of trying, dsd is finally into lego! This mainly keeps dsd and dh entertained, tho dd will try and join in, but finds bricks fiddly.

If we don't fancy any of the above, a trip to the garden centre and a look round the pet shop usually keeps us all happy, followed by tea / juice and cake. Yay!

But tis difficult. I think that they can lack imagination even at that age. The two year old is much easier to please!

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