LONG POST ALERT.
So my son was 2 when me an his Dad split in early 2018 he is now 8years old. My exs family didn't like me at all and were always overly involved (did all the firsts with my son) which pushed me to leave as he never supported me. We had been together around 5 years. He ex had spoken with other women many times behind my back also so the trust had long gone.
I decided to leave the family home as my family believed my ex was perfect an could do no wrong. We agreed my son would stay with his dad an keep his routine.
There was many arguments, fall outs and fighting over time with our DS.
By NOV 2018 I met my now DH I was smitten he was brilliant. My ex had just recently got together with my ex friend (my birthing partner) an they moved in together. I felt a little hurt but glad it was a lovely woman my son already knew, my exs mother decided to take me to court with the belief I wasn't a capable mum for my Son and her son should have full custody. (That completely back fired and the court thought we were great parents an team we had patched up our differences an moved on) we had 50/50 custody. Which has worked great since Jan 2019.
Me an my DH had our first daughter together in 2020 an got married in 2022, he also has two children my step children aged 11 and 14.. sadly their DM passed away on our wedding day in 2022 so it was a big adjustment quick. I got to all my DS events, I pay for things needed, he has his own room ect ect in our house, he has never been treated any different. Sadly I feel I've had to fight tooth and nail to show I'm a good mother to my exs side of the family.
My ex partner changed my sons doctors, and dentist without my consent and seems to do everything I should be without telling me or asking, haircuts, appointments ect.. I had spoke with my ex and he seems to tell me one thing an slag his partner off an then tell her something else.. my ex is VERY controlling just like his mum. They all go on 9-10 holidays a year an have a huge extended family, sadly I have no one on my side.
In October of 2023 my son developed anxiety, specially around food I haven't been able to figure out the problems, but it was only at my house. By Feb 2024, he was barely eating at my house and was not himself. He made the decision to go and live with his dad full time. Of course, I didn't object. I just want what's best. Since March 2024 I have seen him twice!!
Tried to call and offer to have him for tea ect.. we agreed for him to come every other weekend. He is usually very busy with his extended family and after school clubs. I feel useless. We took him with his for an afternoon out a couple of weeks ago and he kept calling me by his dad's partners name, this really hurt! But what hurt more is finding out he calls his dad's partner mum/mummy.
Talking to my ex seems to be absolutely useless! He just isn't phased in the slightest..
I feel so guilty but I've got to a point where I just feel like I should give up an let them be and let my son come to me when he is ready an stop trying to force a relationship that's clearly not there at present.
I'm now 33 weeks pregnant with my DH 2nd child. I find the upset an stress of it all is making me so ill!
I love him so much but I can't carry on with this anymore.