Its a long one and dont know where to start, so Ill explain from the start. I could really do with opinion on all of the situation and advice on what we do now.
My DD started Reception and made friends with another girl. They become best friends fast. Hoping to develop friendship and play meets we become friends with their mum and step dad (SD).
We noticed our DD and her BF were more huggy than our eldest (now 11) ever was.
One day our DD came out of school with coat unzipped. The SD without asking, or really knowing him, reached down and zipped up DD coat but with a linger caress. Assumed was just making sure DD was cosy.
From here on always felt an ick feeling around him.
One day BF and parents come over for coffee. DD and eldest play with BF in the living room around us.
During conversation about tidying toys under the beds the SD says "do you find mummys toys under her bed". No one laughed, there was an uncomfortable silence.
Later, we are sat up dining table having coffee and snacks. DD and BF join us. I say how they are good friends. SD says in a innuendo voice "are you two girlfriends?". I said "erm no, theyre friends and kids."
Later still, DD brings out a huge cardboard box we got her to be creative with. SD says, cutting through the conversation, "Ill play row row your boat with you". We were like "no, its for the children".
Lastly...when they were saying goodbyes, BF goes to hug DD. BF puts hands on buttocks of DD, pulls them inwards, locking eye contact, and pulls their hands up DD back. DD looks confused.
They seperate and BF runs first two fingers down sternum to waist on DD.
Goodbyes are said and they departed. Me and my partner are now certain that BF appears to be displaying inappropiate sexualised behaviour; the SD has said age inappropiate comments; and has now seemingly tried to make physical contact with DD.
Eldest agreed all very weird.
So, because of everything we saw and have experienced over the past four months we decided to make a report to NSPCC. They completely agreed that what we reported was unusual. The report would be forwarded to Childrens services who would contact us before doing more work.
Two weeks later our DD comes out of school and starts to cry. She says the teachers have said that DD and BF have to stop hugging. A sure sign we think that Childrens services have been involved. A bit miffed not contacted but assume its that important they got stuck in.
Then about two weeks later again we get a call from Childrens services. They hadnt contacted anyone. The school therefore had taken action about what was obviously inappropiate behaviour.
Since then we have obviously increased distance between them and us. My partner and I agreeing that no matter what we are 10000% there for the BF no matter what.
The reason I feel I now need to ask a load of strangers aka the public for advice is this:
The BF and parents turned up at DD Rainbows unit. BF attended. They havent been back since and mightve gone to a different unit. Obvs avoiding us.
And at school, eldest was in the toilets when BF walked in. BF being in reception and eldest being y6, Eldest (as per school rules) asks if BF is okay or needs help from a teacher. BF says no and "My parents hate you".
Now Im really worried that there will be some kind of campaign against us or DD. All we did was look out for a child so the worst thing didnt happen, or stopped happening. We both have cried about this; been torn apart with what to do. Had some sleepless nights. But each time we talk about it we feel we are more and more certain. We cant move school.
What do we do now? Whats your thoughts?
Additional factors we considered;
My partner was Class Rep for DD. And we are both ex-police. We felt there could be a whole Jimmy Saville type thing going on where the sex offender becomes friends with credible people to hide in plain sight. My partner is so upset about this all she quit as rep.
Partner is also (recently) disabled. A demographic of vulnerability factually speaking.
BF mum is from an eastern european country where (after research) sexual offences are high, and legislation is not on parity with much of europe. So perhaps a cultural acceptance or blindness?