My DD is 3.5 years old, very bright and sensible most of the time but doesn't stop talking like most kids of her age. My DS is 1.5 yr old so my hands are full. Sometimes, when I ask my daughter to do any task, she takes a while and this is deliberate. She'll start laughing and being cheeky. For example: DS got chickenpox and not well so he fell asleep on the sofa before his bedtime. I wanted to put him to sleep upstairs whilst DH was sat on the sofa watching something on his phone. DD wanted to come with me as it was near her bedtime too so I asked her to go to the toilet before bed and be ringing her teddies upstairs. She kept playing up and I had to repeat myself few times. I checked up on her in the toilet and she was done but just sat there, so I told her if she doesn't hurry up, I'm going to leave her and put her brother to sleep upstairs. I left her and took my DS upstairs as he was irritable and woke up by this point.
After few mins I hear her getting upset and she said DH "mummy went without me". DH got very upset and called me downstairs and said I shouldn't have done that as she thinks I've abandoned her or I'm neglecting her. To me, that's not neglecting or abandoning as she was aware where I was going and I told her before I left. She was fine withing mins and started playing again..
DH is very sensitive about it all. I'm struggling to understand where I went wrong. He always gets annoyed when I tell her off or raise my voice but I am her full-time carer so she does play me up sometimes and I do have another child to deal with. She does listen to him more when he's firm but me being firm makes no difference to her. So I have to raise my voice so she can hear me and sit down. What gets to me the most is he is always telling me off Infront of the kids. I have asked him to take over if he thinks I'm losing it but he says that's not the point.